End of Express

On Wednesday, "The Washington Post" announced that the final publication of its free, daily newspaper, "The Washington Post Express," would be today. Basically, the paper gave the 20 employees at Express and the 75 people who hand papers out at Metro stations throughout the DC area 24 hours notice that they were losing their jobs. This really sucks for them.

The paper started in 2003, and it has been part of my morning commute since I began taking Metro to work in 2005. I’ve made fun of Express over the years and even created an “Express Fail” series, but I always read it. The paper was (I hate writing this is past tense) a good way to catch the headlines of the day. It introduced me to "Pearls Before Swine" and Sudoku and let me know of area events along with articles on sports, television, music, and movies. Plus, the people handing out Express at the Metro stations were almost always friendly. There’s one guy in particular who has distributed newspapers at my station for years, and it’s nice to see him each day. It gives you some comfort and consistency seeing a familiar, welcoming face each day. Today, people were taking pictures with him. I simply thanked him for being outside handing out papers all these years and wished him good luck. He thanked me and shook my hand.

Back to Express, I was honored to have my blog listed several times in its Blog Log feature. This was one such time. It was really exciting, and I have physical copies of them in my home. (Though I’m not exactly sure where. When I find them, it will be a Found in my Basement post.)

The Washington Post seems to blame Metro ridership for Express going out of business. Not the number of riders (which would make some sense), but the habits of riders constantly looking at their phones and not picking up the paper. I'm not sure that I completely buy this rationale and feel like it has to be more of an economic decision.

I guess that I’ll use my commuting time reading books more and catching up on The Washington Post Magazine. It would be great if something similar took its place (or The Post changed its mind) though giving away free newspapers may not be a good business model in 2019. Plus, what's going to happen to all of these yellow boxes throughout the area?

I’m definitely going to miss Express.

J.D. Vance Comes To Washington

Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance has been at or near the top of the New York Times' bestseller list for an entire year. I recently read this book described as "A Yale Law School graduate looks at the struggles of the white working class through the story of his own childhood." It's a really interesting look at Vance's tumultuous childhood and what's happening in many small towns, particularly in Appalachia.

I mention this because J.D. Vance will be at the Library of Congress' National Book Festival.

While this is an impressive list of authors, no one (not even David McCullough) can compare with J.D. Vance who apparently has cloned himself and will be at the festival twice!


Although this ad appeared in Monday's Washington Post Express, this doesn't count as an "Express Fail" since I doubt that Express created this.

The Blog Log Name Mystery

I've read (and written about) Express, a publication of The Washington Post, for many, many years now. This free newspaper distributed at Metro stations throughout the DC region is a nice way to start the day as I can read about what's going on in the world and local area in about 15 minutes. Plus, reading Express is a great way to avoid making any type of eye contact with people on the train. Near the end of the publication is a section titled "Blog Log," which originally captured comments and topics by blogs. Express even quoted my blog on several occasions, and I can honestly say that one of my coolest experiences in writing this blog over the past 12 years has been seeing my text quoted in a newspaper on the way to work.

Anyway, Blog Log morphed over the years to include content from Twitter. This led me to the purpose of this blog post. Despite being called Blog Log, it seemed to me that Express never quotes blogs anymore. I decided to test my theory by taking a look at all of the Blog Logs from January 3, 2017 through February 3, 2017. During this time, Blog Log quoted 113 topics from the web. Here's a breakdown of the sources of these topics:

98 - Twitter
5 - Facebook comments
2 - Commenters on the Huffington Post
2 - Commenters on The Washington Post
1 - Commenter on Slate
1 - Commenter on Instagram
1 - Commenter on Reddit
1 - Commenter on Jezebel
1 - Commenter on US Weekly
1 - Commenter at Medium.com

So during the first month of 2017, Express shared exactly zero blog posts in Blog Log. Therefore, I believe it's time for Express to make a decision.

1. Start quoting blogs in Blog Log again or

2. Retire this Blog Log name and replace it with Twitter Takes or something else

I understand that there's a lot going on in the world and focusing on the Blog Log name seems a bit absurd. Yet, this is my crusade. So I'm calling on Express and The Washington Post to do the right thing. Give bloggers a voice or stop the charade of pretending to highlight content of bloggers.

What's Happening Here?

While riding the Metro this morning (hooray for no major delays!), I'm sure that I received some curious glances since, like the woman on the left, I couldn't stop smiling from looking at this picture from Express.

Seriously, what is going on here? Are these some new Lamaze techniques? Practice for, um, going #2?

Brazil, Brazil, Brazil (Express Fail)

Today's Washington Post Express features three stories about Brazil regarding a tragic bus crash, a massive march against the country's leader and people taking showers on pages 8-9. Guess which story had the most written about it by Express?

Keeping clean is important!

Please click here for past Express Fail posts. It's shocking to me that it's been about 18 months since my last Express Fail post.

Express Goes PG-13

There was a time where I regularly posted errors from Express, the free daily newspaper distributed at Metro stations and a publication of The Washington Post. Fortunately for the paper (though unfortunately for me), the errors are pretty infrequent these days. However, today's paper contained several, um, unusual stories.

First, did you know that pollution is impacting polar bears' penis bones?

Yes, penis bones. Next, how much would you pay for coffee made from beans from a certain kind of cat poop?

Finally, there are balls on the cover.

I'm scared to see what will be in tomorrow's Express.

$450 Shorts! (Sean On Fashion)

Today's Express featured former(?) Georgetown University student and soon-to-be NBA player Otto Porter. One page discussed why Porter would make an excellent pick for the Washington Wizards while the second page showed Porter at a fashion shoot.

Let's take a closer look at Porter's outfit. From the comments on a previous post, I learned that spending $195 for a shirt is nothing. From the Great Belt Search of 2012, $52 for a belt is more than what I'm willing to pay, but reasonable. I have no idea of the going rate for a leather bracelet, so $115 might be appropriate. However, spending $450 for a pair of pink linen shorts seems ridiculous. Unless shorts were made of gold, why would someone pay so much for shorts? You're not going to wear shorts for a job interview or a wedding. Perhaps you might wear shorts at a golf course to impress a client, but wouldn't a pair of shorts that cost $50 or even $100 be sufficient?

You'll be happy to know that Porter is wearing his own shoes.

Louisville's Final Four Run (Express Fail)

Louisville has had a tough road to the Final Four. Not only did they lose Kevin Ware to a horrific injury (I may write about this more next week), but according to Express, Louisville has had an unprecedented schedule as a #1 seed.

For the first time in NCAA Tournament history, a #1 seed played a #13 seed in the first second round of the tournament (instead of a #16 seed) and faced another #1 seed in the Sweet 16 round. I’m amazed that more college basketball analysts didn’t make a big deal about two #1 seeds meeting in the Sweet 16 round.

As always, please click here for all of your Express Fail needs.

North Korea Captures Psy (Express Fail)

The big news today is the potential instability between North Korea and South Korea. If you haven't followed the news, here is the basic information from Yahoo/AP:

North and South Korea staged dueling war games Monday as threatening rhetoric from the rivals rose to the highest level since North Korea rained artillery shells on a South Korean island in 2010.

Enraged over the South's joint military drills with the United States and recent U.N. sanctions, Pyongyang has piled threat on top of threat, including vows to launch a nuclear strike on the U.S. and to scrap the nearly 60-year-old armistice that ended the Korean War.

While this doesn't sound very good, the folks at Express apparently believe that war has already started and that North Korea captured the South Korean capital on Seoul. Even worse, the North Koreans are forcing arguably the most famous South Korean, Psy, to perform his follow up to Gangham Style in their captured land.

As always, please click here for all of your Express Fail needs.

Update 3/12/13: In Tuesday's paper, Express issued a correction stating that Psy will perform in Seoul, South Korea. Congrats to Express on correcting their mistake.

Ryan Reynolds & Unpaid Taxes (Express Fail)

In Tuesday's edition of everyone’s favorite free daily newspaper handed out at Metro stations,* Express shared information about the Ryan Reynolds-Blake Lively wedding.

Clearly Reynolds looks much older than his actual age. Otherwise, how can you explain why an 11 year old Reynolds looked to be in his early 20s when he started on Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place in 1998? He must have been the Doogie Howser of pizza place employees!

Meanwhile, every month Express publishes a section titled “Ahead” which is a continuing education and career advancement guide. This month’s eight-page edition included this article that was previously published in The Washington Post, Express’ parent company. If you don’t want to click on the link, the story is about two Washington-based restaurants that owe more than $100,000 in unpaid taxes and wants its customers to pay the taxes through website donations. How exactly is this career advancement or continuing education? I don’t pay my taxes and we might close, but you can help us stay open by paying our bill. Um, no.

Please click here for all of your Express Fail needs.

* Unless you like the Washington Examiner more than Express.

9/11: 11 Years Later

While today is and should be a solemn day, today doesn’t seem particularly different than any other. I took my child to daycare this morning and didn’t even realize that it was 9/11 until I heard it on the radio. I planned on publishing a post today about another "Express Fail" but that seemed disrespectful. Of course, then I picked up today’s Express and the cover featured a picture of a MARC train with an introduction about how MARC train regulars treat rush hour like happy hour. The front page also included information about Robert Griffin III, the Chicago teachers’ strike and the question “Can you keep up with the world’s oldest yoga instructor?” Except for three events in the “Entertainment Lookout” section and a four-paragraph story about cancer types added to World Trade Center-related illnesses covered by health programs, the newspaper gave no indication that today is 9/11. There were a couple of police officers at a police dog at the Metro station, but that’s not abnormal.

With the exception of Ground Zero, the Pentagon, Shanksville and the family and friends who lost loved ones 11 years ago, has today really become just another day? I hope not.

Calling All Alcoholics

If you drink alcohol, these two advertisements directly next to each other in Tuesday's Express are for you:



I wonder if Express put these ads next to each other intentionally. My guess is no.

Woodland Hills Makes National News

I've given Express a hard time lately for various errors into their publication. Apparently, they got their revenge by featuring my school district on page 2.



I did some research, and sure enough, a bus driver for my former junior high school stopped at a police station to quiet the kids down. Lovely. Here's the entire story courtesy of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

Woodland Hills school officials said yesterday they will discipline students who got so rowdy on an after-school bus ride the driver took them to the Swissvale police station.

The unnamed driver for A.J. Myers and Sons drove to the station Friday when the group of junior high students refused to settle down, said school district spokeswoman Maria McCool. The driver resumed the route without incident after officers spoke with the kids, McCool said.

"There were kids on board who were acting inappropriately," McCool said. "The bus driver felt they were out of control. They weren't listening to him. He felt it was an unsafe situation, so he stopped at the police station. The police came out, and when the police came out, they calmed down."

Swissvale police would not comment. The bus company did not return a call for comment.

McCool said 35 students were heading home on the bus after basketball tryouts and cheerleading at Woodland Hills Junior High in Swissvale about 5 p.m. The bus was close to the police station when a disturbance broke out, and the driver decided on his own to stop at the station.

McCool said students made threats, but she did not know whether they threatened the driver or each other. Police did not cite any students.

Although several children decided to walk home from the police station, McCool said nobody was ejected from the bus, and all were offered a ride home. She said the walkers had an option to call their parents from the police station.

The district was investigating the incident, and McCool could not provide estimates for how many students were involved or how many walked home. She said the district would identify the offending students and punish them based on the disrict's conduct policy. Junior high Principal Dawn Golden will determine punishment.

Earlier this year, Swissvale police arrested 11 students for fighting in the junior high parking lot, and police agencies reported they were called numerous times to Woodland Hills buildings.

"It's a privilege to ride the activities bus," McCool said. "This is not a service that everyone is just entitled to. You can lose bus privileges if you don't behave. We just want everyone to know that when there's this kind of problem on the bus, we will not tolerate it."

In other news, good luck to the Woodland Hills High School football team in the WPIAL Quad A Championship against North Allegheny on Saturday. Go Wolverines (as long as you're behaved on the bus)!

Eric Massa: AbilityOne Champion

I’ve probably shared that I read the Express cover to cover on the Metro each day. The paper is a great way to get a summary of the news and avoid eye contact with my fellow commuters. On Tuesday, I noticed the following advertisement for NIB, National Industries for the Blind.



Prior to yesterday, I had never heard of the organization. However, putting a full-page ad in the Express with a list of “Congressional AbilityOne Champions” got my attention and probably earned notice from other folks in the DC community. That happens when the names Arlen Specter, Orrin Hatch, Harry Reid and Barney Frank are included in your ad. However, one name certainly stood out among the 100 or so Members of Congress. I’ll give you a minute to see if you see it too. It’s okay; I’ll wait.

If you chose the last name under New 2010 AbilityOne Champions, Rep. Eric Massa, you win! (I guess the title of this post may have helped too.) I have a feeling that NIB may not include now former Rep. Massa in future ads. Companies don't generally like being associated with former members of Congress who allegedly groped staffers and engaged in "tickle fights" and "inappropriate language" (not allegedly on these last two).

Random Ramblings

I read the Express nearly cover-to-cover everyday during my daily commute. In yesterday’s Fit section, I spotted an advertisement for Derrick Inglut Personal Training. If you look at the picture in the Express, on the front page of his website or below, it appears that Inglut has no chest hair except from his belly button down to his underwear. I’m certainly no expert on this, but it seems like there should be a rule that you either have all of your chest hair or none. By the way, who the hell walks down the street and pulls up his shirt for the camera?



Have you noticed the significant number of football players wearing just their short-sleeve jerseys during cold-weather games? The temperature during Sunday’s Steelers-Cowboys game was in the teens or low twenties, but it seemed like only a few players wore long-sleeve Under Armor style shirts under the jersey. We already know that they’re tough. Does this make them look tougher?



More and more, I seem to type Sena instead of Sean. If you see a reference to Sena’s Ramblings soon, that may be the reason why.

While shopping for jeans and pants over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that there is no such thing as a size 33x29 anymore. It seems like the only 29-inch length pants out there are for 36-inch waists. Why is that? 36x29 seems like an odd body type.

If you can ice skate and play defense (I’m looking at you Arjewtino), the Pittsburgh Penguins need some help. Hal Gill is out for 2-4 weeks joining the already injured Ryan Whitney, Sergei Gonchar and Phillippe Boucher. (Yes, 4 of the top 5 defensemen are all out.)

Finally, I think our cat has a foot fetish. He likes to lick your feet when you get out of the shower; he seems to carry and play with socks regularly; and he can sense when you are tying your shoes from miles away and is ready to attack said shoelaces.


The photo of Deshea Townsend, Larry Foote and Nick Eason is via AP.

Fairfax Connector Fare Increase Proposal

I feel like I’m up on my current events. I read the Express everyday so I can discuss Pearls Before Swine and the Blog Log with everyone on the Metro. (You should hear the deliberations as the entire car solves the Sudoku puzzle together!) I generally watch the first 20 minutes of Good Morning America and read the headlines on both the Washington Post and Pittsburgh Post-Gazette websites. However, I’m in my own little bubble when it comes to local news. I usually have no idea what’s going on in the DC area unless someone tells me.

So when my colleague asked me about the proposed fare increase on Fairfax Connector buses, which I ride to and from work everyday, I had no idea what she was talking about. Perhaps it’s that bubble thing, but I haven’t seen or heard anything about this. When Metro fares or Metrobus fares go up, the news seems to be everywhere. While the 20,000 Connector riders a day is much smaller than those who use Metro and Metrobus, this is still a fairly significant number.

I visited the Fairfax Connector website, and sure enough, it looks like the fares are going up. The proposed increase would take effect on January 4, 2009 and would be the first increase since 2004. After a little digging, I found that Robert Thomson, AKA Dr. Gridlock, also posted information and his thoughts about the increase on his Washington Post Get There blog. My question is this: are the Fairfax Connector folks going to let its riders know about the hearings set to get public comments on the proposal? I posed this question to Dr. Gridlock, but he didn’t know whether there would be flyers or posters on the buses to inform us passengers. I guess I could have contacted Fairfax Connector about this but, well, asking one person was too much for one day.

For more information about the proposed fare increase visit the Fairfax Connector website, or do what I didn’t and actually contact them with any questions or comments.

Oh, if there are any other Fairfax Connector riders out there who happen to read this, did you know about the increase prior to seeing it here? It would be really cool if Sideburn Guy or Smoking Man read my blog.

News & Notes

Am I only one entertained by the recent dispute playing out in the pages of the Express? Almost everyday, the "Look Out People" section, which posts news/information about somewhat famous people, features a two-line story about Amy Winehouse. Twice in the past few days, a letter to the editor asks Express to stop with the Winehouse stuff. In response, Express featured another snippet about Winehouse on Wednesday. Personally, I don’t understand why people are so upset about the Winehouse coverage. If you don’t want to read anything about this train-wreck, turn the page and read the Blog Log, Pearls Before Swine or play Sudoku!

Thanks to everyone for providing their votes and comments about attending a game at Yankee Stadium. Please keep them coming, although at this point, I’m probably leaning towards visiting New York.

The Naked Cowboy is suing Mars Inc., the maker of M&Ms. Is Edgar Snyder on the case? (Call 391-2101; 391-2101! I will remember this phone number – even if it is not current anymore – for the rest of my life.)



I received an e-mail from Brandon who created an online petition trying to convince Marian Hossa to stay in Pittsburgh. Although I would love Hossa to return to the Penguins, it appears that money is more important to him than trying to win a Stanley Cup. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but unless everyone who signs the petition also pledges to give Hossa $5, I don’t know how much this will help. Good luck to Brandon anyway.

Finally, I have a new friend on Facebook…her name is LPGA golfer Erica Blasberg. In honor of this historic event, here’s another picture of her.



However, if she is going to continue to be my favorite LPGA golfer, she may have to do a bit better on the course. Blasberg finished last (of those who made this cut) in this past weekend’s Wegmans LPGA tournament.

Fame

My life-long dream was fulfilled today when I was featured in the Express's Blog Log! I'm famous! This ranks just below my national TV appearances in The Price Is Right audience and in the background of ESPN's Sportscenter when Darius Kasparaitis was being interviewed after scoring the game-winning goal in Game 7 of the Pittsburgh Penguins-Buffalo Sabres 2001 playoff series.

If you want to see Sean's Ramblings in print, go to page 36 of the January 8, 2007 Express.