The Mandela Effect: Iron City Beer Edition

A few months ago, we had problems with our washer. Even after the load finished, it continued to run. The only way to stop it was by unplugging the machine. Fortunately, it was still under warranty, so we had someone check it out. He pressed the button, and the machine magically worked again.*

My immediate thought when this happened was a line from an Iron City beer commercial that aired regularly in the Pittsburgh area during the late 80s or early 90s: "Hey, loser, press the reset button!" Unfortunately, I can't seem to find this video anywhere. I remember it taking place in a bowling alley, maybe filmed at Forward Lanes in Squirrel Hill. I contacted Pittsburgh Brewing Company, and they have no record of this commercial. Is this a Mandela Effect thing where people misremember pop culture events? I'm not making this up, am I? Does anyone else remember this?

Pittsburgh Brewing Company did send me an amazing compilation of their commercials from the 1970s going forward. No press the reset button though.

* Running a load shortly after the tech left, the same issue occurred, so pushing the button was not the solution. A new control panel did the trick!

Soccer Referee Story

I don’t usually write about my soccer referee experiences. I’ve worked hundreds of games since becoming certified in 1990 (that’s not a typo), and my games aren’t usually worthy of sharing. I’m making a slight exception today. Over the weekend, I worked at a pretty big tournament in Northern Virginia. Probably against my better judgement, I signed up to work four consecutive U11 boys games. For this tournament, that meant 30-minute halves with just one referee. While keeping up with kids in 4th, 5th, and/or 6th grades isn't a problem for me, 4 hours of game time is a lot. And without assistant referees it’s impossible to tell if a player is offsides or if the ball goes completely out of play. Basically, if it’s close, we’re going to keep playing.

Before the first game, one coach approached me about a goal being set about 2 inches behind the goal line. The goal must have been anchored to the ground since it was impossible to move. I mean, Hulk or Thor could probably move it, but the coach and I could not. Naturally, about half-way through the first half, his team took a shot that hit the post, and he immediately started yelling that it should be a goal. Even with the goal set back, it's unlikely that the entire ball crossed the line before hitting the post. Technology used at the World Cup might be able to determine that the ball crossed the line, but they didn't quite have any video replay for this U11 match. Besides, going over the line and hitting the post didn't prove it was a goal. I could have simply called a goal kick for the ball being out of play. And with no assistant referee, I couldn't make this call from 20 yards away. I'm getting really into the weeds. Besides, I'm completely burying the lede here. This coach sounded exactly like Norm Macdonald except that he was not at all funny. 

He continued to complain throughout the game, and I eventually gave him a yellow card for dissent. This follows a trend I've seen throughout the season. So much complaining by coaches and players. Another player on this team got a yellow card for dissent (complaining about calls) too.

The second and third games were uneventful except that both my calves cramped at the same time during the third game. And right when I awarded a penalty kick. That had never happened to me in a game before, and it was quite painful. I limped around for the next few minutes before they finally felt better. After the game, one of the parents of a player in the game gave me some electrolyte powder that I mixed with my water. It was disgusting, and I'm not sure how much it helped.

Then, there was the fourth game. The first half was fine with nothing remarkable. I still couldn't run as fast as I wanted, but it was fine. Part-way through the second half, after a team scored a goal, I pointed to the center circle and started writing this in my book with my back towards the goal. I completely missed some trash-talking and pushing behind me. As soon as I heard the commotion, I ran over, but it was too late. One team claimed that the other started the ruckus, but without seeing it, I couldn't do anything. Yes, I should have waited to write down the goal, but this also wouldn't have been missed with two assistant referees. Over the next few minutes, there were more fouls and more talking and the team leading having their players stay on the ground longer than necessary. Finally, after one player kicked another, I blew a hard whistle and started to run over to issue a yellow card. Before I got there, one kid pushed the kid who did the kicking to the ground. Ugh. Red card. Things settled down for the last 6-7 minutes of the game, but one coach told his team not to shake hands after the game and the coaches weren't exactly going to get drinks together. 

(For the record, I did have a whistle unlike Ed O'Neill.) 

What's funny is that the tournament had a mentor at the field, and I talked with him both at halftime and after the game. Besides waiting to write down the goal and maybe issuing a card for time-wasting, he thought I made the right calls. He basically said that some things were beyond my control. It was reassuring. It also shows that you can still learn even when you've done something for a long time.

Oh, several days later, my right calf is still tender, and I limp around for a minute if I rest/sit for too long.

Friday Video: Sally, When The Wine Runs Out

Time for a good, old-fashioned Friday video post. Today's video features the singer Role Model and his song, "Sally, When The Wine Runs Out" from his performance on The Tonight Show. There's a nice cameo part-way through too. This song gets regular airplay on SiriusXM's Hits One station (the only place where I hear new music) and is really good. 

Enjoy!

For my Pittsburgh friends, Role Model attended Point Park University and is highly influenced by and his career was kick-started by Mac Miller.

50

Turning 50 is a big deal. Sure, there are other birthday milestones. 13 for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. 16 to be able to drive. 18 to vote. 21 to legally drink. You should be a (somewhat) responsible adult at 25 and certainly at 30. You become a man at 40. But 50 seems different. A half century is a long time. There seems to be a sense of mortality. While I’m in decent shape and my kids help keep me young, there’s a realization that you have lived at least half of your life. I could live to be 100 but that doesn’t seem realistic.

I’ve started reflecting a little bit. Am I where I want to be? The answer is yes and no. I love my family, but I'm not financially secure. I mean, while I'd like a bigger house and more/any disposable income, the kids get what they need in terms of playing sports, being involved in activities, and going to summer camp. They’re certainly not getting designer clothes and shoes. Plus, I am my father's son. Did I go to Costco on Monday hoping to get a discounted Mother's Day cake for my own birthday cake? Just turn the cake upside down and Mom becomes Wow! Oh, the answer is yes I went to Costco, but they didn't have any remaining Mother's Day cakes.

What I’m realizing is that I need to be a better friend. While being busy with work and my kids’ activities is certainly an excuse, I have not done a good job of keeping in touch with friends, particularly those who live out of town. I also need to reach out to my family more. I never had a big family, and it’s even smaller with my parents now gone. 

I definitely want to travel more. My wife and I are planning a trip abroad this summer to celebrate my 50th birthday and our 20th anniversary. In addition, my goal of visiting all 50 states is still a strong possibility after going to North Dakota last year. 

There’s no big ending to this post. I didn’t get any media credentials to cover any awards shows or athletic events in honor of my 50th birthday. I actually spent my birthday itself going to work and then driving my kids to basketball practice and a Scout meeting in the evening. It was just another day with more phone calls and a lot more messages on Facebook. I’m going to celebrate more soon and with the vacation this summer. Overall, I’m glad that I made it to 50, and I know there’s a lot more to do.

Who Are The Cardinals?

With Pope Francis recently passing away, the College of Cardinals is set to meet to select a new pope. While it seems unlikely that Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, and John Lithgow will be part of this process (though maybe the Vatican will allow for special guests!), I've been curious about who makes up the College of Cardinals. Being an American sports fan, I have some questions.

Since we’re considering Cardinals, are we allowing the St. Louis Cardinals, Arizona Cardinals, or a combination of both to select the new pope? And are we considering current players, former players, and/or the owners and front office staff? For example, Ozzie Smith, Albert Pujols, and Adam Wainwright seem to be good representatives from the St. Louis Cardinals. However, they are all retired. Should Victor Scott II or Lars Nootbaar get more consideration as active members of the team? I love including Lars Nootbaar in any blog post!

From the Arizona side, I’m all for Larry Fitzgerald getting a say in the new pope. Actually, of all of the Cardinals, he would get my vote as pope (if I was a cardinal). Fitzgerald just seems like an amazing person and just gave a great commencement speech at the University of Pittsburgh.

I know what you’re thinking. This is the COLLEGE of Cardinals. I identified professional cardinals. Do the University of Louisville Cardinals have a say? The women’s volleyball team has been excellent. What about the Ball State University Cardinals? Actually, that’s the answer. The next pope should be selected by Ball State’s most famous graduate, David Letterman. Done!

Yes, this is one of the dumbest posts I have written in the 20+ years of Sean’s Ramblings. These are the things I think/write about when I'm waiting in line at the DMV!

Photo of Lars Nootbaar by Steph Chambers/Getty.