Thursday, August 27, 2009

TMI Thursday: Not a man?

I have a fear of Home Depot. I’m positive that the security cameras can sense my anxiety as I walk through the door. It is an intimidating place filled with supposedly useful but mostly confusing items. As part of our home renovation, we took a field trip there recently. I tried to act like I knew where things were located and could effortlessly tell the difference between a lug nut and, um, something similar to a lug nut, but I had no clue. Our first stop was to get new kitchen and bathroom faucets. There were many options, but we sailed through (mostly since my wife priced and selected them on a previous visit without me). However, we quickly learned from the sales representative that we also needed to buy some faucet connector wire things (technical term). They went into the cart. The next stop was to pick up a five-pound bag of non-sanded grout. No problem. Well, except that they only had 10-pound bags. That’s fine. Well, except that I was looking for white grout, but there were at least 15 different colors that were all variations of white. I bought the bright white variety. Over an hour later, we were done.

A few days later, I needed to return to Home Depot to pick up more paint. After waiting over 30 minutes to be helped (don’t go to the paint department at 9:00pm on a weeknight), I confidently asked for two galloons of Glidden Cinnamon White paint. They then asked what type of finish I wanted. I panicked. I went in a completely defensive mode by saying, well, they didn’t ask me that the last time I was here. The patient Home Depot guy told me that I should just check the can I had at home. I panicked again since the can was already trashed. He then asked whether it was eggshell, semi-gloss or flat. No clue. Fortunately, I called home and learned it was flat. I told this to the Home Depot guy and pretended that I knew this all along.

As you can probably tell, the entire point of this post is that when it comes to home repairs, I know nothing. I can change a light bulb, but beyond that, I am useless. Does this make me less of a man?

(I was really trying to find a picture of Milos from "The Comeback" episode of Seinfeld to insert here. Instead, I found a picture of George from the same episode. Plus, I'll share this quote which seems appropriate.)

Another game for Milos!! He's not a man, this Jerry.

Please make sure to visit LiLu for more TMI Thursdays. Plus, you can click here to see all of my TMI Thursday archives.


rachaelgking said...

I always wonder about this. When do you learn how to do this kind of thing?? I mean, I sure don't know any of the "girly" stuff they used to teach in Home Ec...

Steve Braband said...

Is this the same episode as the "Jerk Store" line? If so, def in the top 3 all time episodes!

Sean said...

LiLu - We had woodshop in junior high, but it's not like I'm going to buy a thick piece of wood or the equipment to make a cutting board when I can buy one at Target.

Steve - Yes, Milos and the tennis game is the same episode as Jerk Store. I don't think I would go top 3, but it's an excellent episode.

Stephanie said...

Oh my god! I totally know more about Home Depot than you!

We girls are awesome! Go us!

XO, J said...

Nope I don't think it makes you less of a man...b/c it doesn't make me less of a girl b/c I do know about that stuff and know very little about fashion...okay well i don't know as much as some other girls...It's all about what people take the time to teach you!

a!k0 said...

:D Stephanie is so cute, Go us! :P

well that doesnt make you less man(ly), no one can know everything right?? :) home depot is a very confusing place anyway :P

Sean said...

Stephanie - I'm not sure how to respond to that. I don't think I can win with any response, so I will just declare you the winner!

XO,J - Thank you! I feel better now (especially after Stephanie's comment). I guess I should also mention that I have no interest in learning how to do "handyman" work.

a!k0 - Maybe I know too much about fantasy football, so there's no room to learn about things at Home Depot. :)