Stealing Is Bad, But Community Message Boards Can Be Fun

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but I have found my community message board to be great for blog content. This recent thread will make any Buffalo Bills fan upset. Please note that I live in Northern Virginia. I also include my own thoughts on the comments throughout this post.

Warning: there’s a NINJA among us

(Sean’s note: Now this headline is perfect to attract attention. By the way, I had no idea that Drew Drechsel of American Ninja Warrior or the YouTube star Ninja live in my neighborhood.)

I discovered this morning my 3x5’ Buffalo Bills flag missing from its post on my street-facing third floor balcony. It was secure in its base, and couldn’t possibly fall or be blown off.

(Sean's note: I think a lawyer could definitely make a case to a jury that it is possible that the flag fell.)

I don’t have any photos of it flying from my balcony, but it is similar to this photo below. The pole was an old shovel handle from the farm I grew up on so it has sentimental value. How anyone could have gotten up to my 3rd floor balcony and taken it is beyond me. Unhelpful comments degrading my team will be deleted. If you had a flag of your team stolen, you’d be upset too.

Now to the comments!

1. I’m sorry your flag has gone missing ♥️ my grandfather had a large and expensive metal mallet and metal chisels stolen from his backyard a number of years go. It really sucks but eventually it just becomes a distant memory.

This seems like a nice message, but the phrase "eventually it just becomes a distant memory" seems kind of harsh.

2. That’s disappointing, hope it shows up & let’s keep our east division strong

AFC East! WOOOOO!

3. That’s crazy that someone somehow got 3 levels up to take your flag. Hope you find it! Looking forward to a good game this weekend between your Bills and my Patriots! I’ve been impressed with the Bills’ play this season! Josh Allen is da bomb!

Forget about the flag. Let's talk some football!

4. It sucks that you got ripped off. I doubt that a fellow Bills fan would do this, but having been to OP, I can understand their determination. Go Bills ! Beat NE !

I saw a comment below before I saw this one, so you'll have to see my thoughts below.

5. That's not good I like the Bills. From a PATS fan. I would be angry also!

6. I would start with any Jets or Dolphins fans in the neighborhood

This is my favorite! Go door to door and ask neighbors to declare their favorite NFL team. If they answer Jets or Dolphins, begin waterboarding! Of course, maybe it’s another Bills fan who likes the flag. As we saw before, they are determined. This case is wide open!

7. (Replying to 6.) no the Dolphins sucks too bad for them to care lol

Poor Miami Dolphins. At least they’re going to have lots of high draft picks in 2020. Plus, they live in South Florida in the winter. And there’s no income tax in Florida. And the city is hosting the Super Bowl in February. And Jennifer Lopez and Shakira will be there for it. You know, forget that poor Dolphins statement.

8. After the Bills lose to the Patriots this Sunday, the guy who stole the flag will return it.

9. Did you report it to the police? Go Bills

There were no replies to this comment. Maybe it was an inside job!

10. Time to send in the Bills Mafia! Poncho Billa lives!

I knew there would be a reference to Bills Mafia at some point.

11. I own a unit in [neighborhood]and am wondering - is there any chance it was removed during the recent painting and pressure washing they’ve done on the exterior of the buildings? You might look in your storage closet and check with your downstairs neighbors. The crews just worked on my section of the community so I’m wondering when they did yours. Just a thought!

This makes some sense. How dare there be a good and coherent point on a message board!?!?

12. Hope the Bills get to the Super Bowl in your lifetime! Would be nice to see the Bills defeat the Patriots! #LEGENDS

And we're back to football with nothing to do with the flag.

13. (Replying to 12) They already HAVE...FOUR times in a row! No team will ever do that again. Now let’s see them WIN one in my lifetime

14. This thread actually inspired me to order a Pats flag on Amazon to arrive in time for Sunday.

Helping the economy. That's what this message board is for!

15. Pats have been to 4 of last 5 Superbowls and won 3. That’s pretty good too (not taking away from Bills of early 90s, they were awesome)

Please, let's have more Patriots fans in this discussion. That would be great.

16. (Replying to 15.) I definitely respect what the Patriots have done...best team of a generation. Brady is awesome, Belichick is a genious. Doesn’t mean I LIKE them...😝

Yes, Belichick is a genious. A genious!

17. (Replying to 16.) I like it when the AFC East is good! Too bad Darnold got mono and the Phins decided to tank for Tua. It’s a two team race!

Okay, I did not come here for a breakdown of the AFC East. I'm done.

The Head and Shoulders Commercial Is Wrong

It’s quite possible that this commercial has aired for months, but I only saw it recently.



I have so many thoughts on this commercial.

- First, why is the Kiss Cam guy or girl showing these two? They definitely don’t appear to be a couple.

- The Steelers fan is way out of the Pats fan’s league.

- Rob Gronkowski attended Woodland Hills during his senior year and is a WHHS graduate. Perhaps this Pats fan is really a Steelers fan but is friends or family of Gronk, so that’s why he’s wearing the #87 jersey. Therefore, the two really struck up a rapport before the Kiss Cam came along.

- Okay, that last point seems highly unlikely.

- There is no chance that the Patriots crowd would support this kiss. There would be many more jeers and boos than cheers.

- Smart move by Head & Shoulders by having the Steelers fan wear a JuJu Smith-Schuster jersey than an Antonio Brown one.

Thanks again to Head & Shoulders for providing me with blog content for nearly a decade. (And if you click on the link, you'll see that some of the posts are so old that the videos no longer work.

Major Announcement: Sean 2020

I'm concerned about the present state and future of our country. Too much division and not enough working together to find some common ground. I think I can help bring the country together. Therefore, I am proud to announce that I am forming an exploratory committee for the a 2020 Presidential bid. You’re probably thinking, Sean, why would I vote for you to be President of the United States? My response is that I created a comprehensive platform back in 2012, and I still stand by this today. (Well, except for the NHL lockout part since there currently isn’t a lockout, but as President, I pledge that I will ensure that there is no lockout or strike when the current agreement between the players and owners ends.)

You’re probably also thinking, we’re a divided country, so how are you going to bring us together? I have several ideas. The first is to force Tom Brady to retire from the New England Patriots after this Sunday’s Super Bowl. I realize that I may lose significant votes in Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut, and Maine, but I feel like I can win them back with this argument. The rest of the country is tired of seeing the Patriots appear in the Super Bowl, so forcing Brady to leave that team is an automatic win. For Patriots fans, don’t you want to see how the team plays without Brady but with Bill Belichick still as coach? This has been a hypothetical discussion for years. Now we can see it happen. Plus, can Brady win as QB for another team without Belichick? The country can really get behind this.

We can also bond on criticizing the Academy Awards for making the absurd decision not to nominate Won't You Be My Neighbor for Best Documentary. Instead, the Academy gave a nomination to Free Solo, even though we saw that movie 30 years ago when it was called Return of the Jedi.

I'm still not sure what we can do about this injustice. Maybe sanctions? Maybe it's just teaching the country about the legacy and importance of Mister Rogers.

You probably wonder why I'm announcing my candidacy now. It's still many months before the primaries and the Iowa caucus begin. (Something else we can agree on...caucus is a funny word!) Well, one year ago last week, I had surgery on my dislocated wrist. Many people thought I would never become a PGA golfer, compete in a tennis Grand Slam event, or pitch in a MLB game. Well, I proved everyone wrong. I mean, I haven't done any of these things (yet), but my wrist is as healthy as it's going to be, so I'm just waiting for the call.

This is the difficult part. I need volunteers to serve on my exploratory committee. Your important job will be to poll the country and see if I have a chance to compete. I also don’t have Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz money, so if you could contribute a few million dollars, that would be great.

I’m thinking that being on this committee will not be a very time-consuming endeavor!


The Brady-Belichick picture is from USA Today.

Kids Book Predicts Steelers-Patriots Game

Back in November, I traveled to Portland and made sure to visit Powell's Books the "largest used and new bookstore in the world." While trying to find Ron Lippock's Steelers Takeaways among the approximately 1 million books in stock, I stumbled upon Here We Go Steelers, Here We Go and bought it for the sake of a future blog post (and to read to my kids, but mostly for blog content). What I didn't realize is that this predicts the outcome of Sunday's Steelers-New England Patriots AFC Championship game.

Before we see the pictures below, I think it's fair to point out several inaccuracies. First, the game in the book takes place at Heinz Field which makes perfect sense for a children's book about the Steelers. In addition, most of the uniform numbers don't match up with current players. So with that, let's witness what will happen on Sunday.

Coach Mike Tomlin, arguably the greatest cheerleader in this country's history, leads the team in a rousing edition of Give Me An S, Give me a T, etc. so that the entire team spells the word Steelers. Antonio Brown is front and center this time to get a better camera angle for Facebook Live.

In the spirit of the referee's message of good sportsmanship, Patriots running back LeGarrette Blount and Steelers running back Le'Veon Bell decide to get high together right at midfield.

The role of James Harrison in this picture is being played by Anthony Chickillo. After the sack, Jim Nantz will refer to James Harrison as "ageless." (And yes, that is my cat Ziggy's tail next to the book.)

After last week's struggles in the red zone, the Steelers decided to hand the ball to Le'Veon Bell (being played by Fitzgerald Toussaint in the book) for a touchdown on a 4th and goal. Smart call!

Chris Boswell has been terrific this season, so why wouldn't he (and not the pictured Jeff Reed or Landry Jones) kick the game-winning field goal?

Celebration time! I'm sure Julian Edelman will be all smiles shaking hands after the game since that's how his team is run." Meanwhile, Steely McBeam is out haunting people in the parking lot.

So there you go. The Steelers will win on Sunday with a late field goal. Enjoy the game (even though you already know the result)!

Hating The Patriots

On Saturday night, Alan Saunders of Pittsburgh Sports Now, Pirates Prospects, and the Beaver County Times among other places mentioned on Twitter that he has an NFL column bouncing around in his head, but he doesn't write about the NFL or have his own column. I replied that he was welcome to share his thoughts here. Amazingly, he said yes. So here's Alan:

We don’t root for injuries in football. 

It’s an interesting thing, that piece of football fandom, and it tells us a lot about the way we tick as football fans. Of the major American team sports, football is by far the most violent. Men of over 300 pounds collide with one another at the force of a minor automobile accident dozens of times a game. 

Injuries are a part of football. The league has a policy that each team must release a list of which players are injured and how injured they are each and every week. It’s not the exception, it’s the rule. Players are going to get hurt. It’s often said that it’s not the best team that wins the Lombardi Trophy at the end of the season, but the healthiest one.

But we don’t root for injuries, even against a foe as despised as Tom Brady and the New England Patriots, whose level of revulsion by the fans of the league’s other 31 teams is only rivaled by their own level of success. The Patriots, who now await the winner of the Pittsburgh - Kansas City game, escaped their Divisional Round game against Houston without any serious injuries, whether they were rooted for or not.

The fact that we don’t root for injuries is a lesson I learned in 1989. That was the year I first became a sports fan, and at the impressionable age of six, there are some things that have stuck with me. The Steelers had played the Cleveland Browns early that year and got trounced, 51-0, in one of the most lopsided defeats in team history. Six weeks later, the Steelers would have to go to Cleveland to avoid being swept by their (at that point) fierce rival.

I don’t recall the identity of the Browns player that laid, sprawled out on the field on the muddy grass of Cleveland Municipal Stadium long after a play. I’m sure it was one of their more-explosive offensive players, perhaps Eric Metcalf, Ozzie Newsome or Webster Slaughter. As the Browns trainers rushed onto the field to tend to their injured star, 6-year-old me leapt off the couch. The loss of a big offensive weapon would for the Browns would be a huge boon for the Steelers’ chances of winning.

The Steelers ended up winning the game, but six-year-old me’s father was unimpressed with my behavior and I got something of a talking to. That’s when I learned that we don’t root for injuries in football. 

There’s a reason.

Now, I haven’t been around long enough to know the intentions of the men that molded the game of rugby into what we now call American football, but whether it was intentional from the start or acquired along the way, there is a gladiatorial spirit to the game.

The goal is of course to win, but that spirit demands that a victory be celebrated less if it is a hollow one. The goal of every team is not just to win, but to face — and defeat — the best each opponent has to throw at them.

That is why we hate the New England Patriots. The Patriots, for all of the success of their four Super Bowls and 14 division titles over the last 15 years, don’t succumb to the will of that gladiatorial spirit. They beat teams, not by overpowering them, not by being more athletic, or stronger, or tougher, but by outsmarting them.

Everything they do, from exotic formations and schemes to the things on the fringes of the rulebook (or over, some would say), is designed to give the team an advantage. In 2015, the Patriots flummoxed the Baltimore Ravens in the playoffs with a little-used but technically legal formation that confused the Baltimore defense. That was the same game in which it was initially revealed that the Patriots were using under-inflated footballs. The team had also been cited for illegal recording the practices of opposing teams and has been accused of tampering with visit radio equipment for years.

The reason we hate the Patriots is the same reason we don’t root for injuries. We’re not supposed to want an ill-gotten advantage. We’re supposed to want to face and beat the opponent’s best in a fair fight. The Patriots are healthy, so someone is going to get their wish.


Sean's Note: I think we also hate the Patriots because of Bill Belichick. He thinks he's smarter than everyone, and though he's probably right, he's a jerk about it. It also doesn't help that despite being so smart, he still had to cheat with Spygate. Tom Brady is also unlikeable. It's acknowledged that he's one of the best quarterbacks ever to play, but he's robotic. Besides appearing in Ted 2, has he every showed a personality?

Thanks again to Alan for his willingness to share his writing here. Please make sure you follow Alan on Twitter.

Steelers-Patriots Recap

I’m going to do things a little different for this week’s Steelers recap. If you’re looking for detailed analysis about how the Pittsburgh held New England to 10 points and the Patriots offense to 1 of 13 on third down conversions or the punting abilities of Mitch Berger, go somewhere else. May I recommend the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Instead, I want to point out the following real and fictional New England Patriots players who contributed to the Steelers win.

The turning point of the game occurred part-way through the third quarter. Leading 13-10 after a Jeff Reed field goal, Matthew "AC" Slater fumbled the kick-off, and the ball was recovered by Keyaron Fox. Two plays later, Ben Roethlisberger hit Hines Ward for an 11-yard touchdown.



Maybe this wasn’t noticed by everyone, but Sam "Clay" Aiken had two special teams holding penalties for New England. After another Reed field goal to give the Steelers a 23-10 lead, the Patriots returned the kick-off to midfield. However, Aiken’s holding penalty brought the ball back about 15 yards. Without the penalty, the Patriots would have been in field goal range after Ryan Clark’s unnecessary roughness penalty three plays later.



The Steelers sacked Matt Cassel five times forcing two fumbles. Offensive tackle Matt "Judith" Light deserves some of the blame for this as James Harrison beat Light on at least one sack/fumble.



Plus, who can forget the dropped passes by Randy "Kate" Moss, especially one in the end zone near the end of the first half?



Overall, the Patriots clearly missed Tom "Marsha" Brady.



By the way, it was nice to see former Mexican President Vicente Fox score a defensive touchdown for the Broncos against the Jets. I was wondering what happened to Fox since he left office. (Wahoo J deserves credit for this one.)



Yes, this may be the dumbest post I have ever written.