Thursday, July 08, 2010

Yuengling Is Dangerous

In preparation for a July 4th BBQ, we went to Harris Teeter to buy a case of beer. I should have known that not going to Wegmans would be a mistake. Anyway, we brought the case of Yuengling to the register, and that’s where the story gets interesting. The cashier picked up the case of beer to scan it, but she wouldn’t let go. Um, even though I hadn’t paid for it yet, I thought to myself, don’t take my beer, cashier!*

However, she wasn’t actually taking the beer. Somehow, she got her hand stuck in the cardboard box handle. She panicked and yelled for a colleague to come over. He arrived, assessed the situation, saw the fear and rage in the cashier’s eyes, and raced back to customer service to get a pair of scissors. He may have even run carrying a pair of scissors during his quick return to the register. That is even more unsafe than picking up a case of beer by the handle!

So Harris Teeter guy prepared to cut her hand out like he was using the “Jaws of Life.” Unfortunately, he was about to cut where the cashier’s fingers were located. She quickly stopped him to make sure the cut took place on the side away from her fingers. At this point, the manager came over and announced to the cashier that she (meaning the cashier) would do anything to get out of work in a jokingly, but probably some truth-in-the-joke way. Finally, the original Harris Teeter guy made the cut and the cashier was free. I believe that this was on the same level of Baby Jessica’s rescue from the well.

The cashier, apparently in pain from getting her fingers pinched, could not go on with our transaction. Did I mention that we didn’t have a full shopping cart? All we bought was one case of beer. The manager apologized to us and offered to get us a new case of beer with the handle completely intact. Not a free case of beer, just a difference case of Yuengling. We declined this offer because, honestly, we just wanted to pay, get the heck out of there and laugh safely away from the cashier.

It was truly an odd experience. I originally thought we were on some type of Candid Camera, but soon realized that the cashier was actually stuck. It was difficult to remain supportive yet attempt not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. You’ll be glad to know that after I paid for the beer, I successfully carried the beer to the car and BBQ. Oh this is the beer. Pretty scary, huh?

* The “Don’t Take My Beer, Cashier” phrase should be on a T-shirt. Get Fresh Designs should be on this immediately!


Brendon said...

Hopefully this teaches you to get Iron City next time.

nothing but limericks said...

Yuengling's the name of this beer,
It can't be found 'round here,
But head to the coast,
And then you can boast,
That you drank the brew without peer.

getfreshdesigns said...

damn, i'm just seeing this now. I even read this post, guess I didn't see the bottom part.