Showing posts with label Natalie Portman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Natalie Portman. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

The Moose's Bar Mitzvah

The Moose recently turned 13 and celebrated his Bar MItzvah. This is a very big deal. A Bar Mitzvah (for a boy) or a Bat Mitzvah (for a girl) is a coming of age ceremony in Judaism. He went from being a boy to becoming a man. Let's celebrate with a little Motownphilly!


The Moose read from the Torah and led a significant portion of the Shabbat (Sabbath) services. He worked really hard learning prayers in Hebrew and taking weekly lessons over about a 10-11 month period. He did an amazing job.

While I could (and probably should) write more about the Bar Mitzvah and celebration, this post is about the program we created for the service. Actually, this is about the fake program that I created that was not distributed during the service. Here are a few excerpts:

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony takes place when a Jewish child reaches the age of 13. The word Bar Mitzvah means “son of a mitzvah.” Son of a mitzvah sounds much better than a different expression starting with “son of a.” Clearly, this is in reference to the Dusty Springfield song, Son of a Preacher Man. Are you thinking of something else? A mitzvah is an action which connects Jews both to the divine and to all other Jews past, present, and future. In practical terms, this means that this is the age when a Jewish child is considered old enough to assume the rights and responsibilities of Jewish adulthood. The Moose will now be expected to fulfill these moral and ethical commandments throughout his daily life. As an adult, he is also expected to start paying rent and make meals for his brothers. Cleaning the cat’s litter box would also be appreciated.

During the Torah service, the weekly reading is divided into sections, each called an aliyah. At least eight people, including The Moose, will be honored by being called up for an aliyah to the Torah. Before and after each section of the Torah is read, the individual called up for that aliyah recites a blessing or sings songs/reads lyrics of songs by the late singer/actress Aaliyah, most notably from “Try Again” or “Are You That Somebody.” Those with Pittsburgh ties may choose to sing “Ah, Leah” by Donnie Iris.


Two books are used during the service – Lev Shalem, the smaller red prayerbook, and Etz Hayim, the larger red volume, which contains the Torah, selections from the Prophets, and commentary. There used to be a third book, The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, but the rabbis determined that scarlet was not the correct shade of red. The rabbis do approve of the scarlet and gray. O-H!


I also had fun including various celebrities like Adam Sandler, Drake, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis (A Black Swan reunion!), Benny Blanco, Gal Gadot, Rowdy Tellez, Deni Avdija, and others as receiving honors during the service. Dolly Parton and the late Kenny Rogers (via hologram) are listed as reading the poem "No Religion is an Island" since they like islands (in streams). 

Friday, September 23, 2016

Link City

Earlier this week, there was a private event at a Northern Virginia Chick-fil-A for bloggers to preview their new brunch menu. I applied to participate in this event, but the client did not select me. I think that part of the reason is that my Sean's Ramblings Facebook page has less than 40 likes. This number needs to go up. In the next few months, I'm going to apply to be a media member for the 2017 Academy Awards. Sure, I only see 1-2 movies in the theater these days, but wouldn't you like to see me on the red carpet asking Natalie Portman if she'd like to bring her family over to my house for a Passover dinner? I could ask Meryl Streep whether she would want to appear in the next Alvin and the Chipmunks movies. For the Oscars to take my application seriously, I think I need to have at least 100 Facebook likes. I'd probably feel more confident in my chances if that number was closer to 10,000.

Oh, I also probably didn't get selected for the event since it was for "mommy bloggers," and while I write about being a dad, I'm not exclusively a "daddy blogger." [Falls Church Patch]

The word "jagoff" is officially in the Oxford English dictionary. Congrats to John of Ya Jagoff on helping make this happen. [Ya Jagoff]


I am honored to finally have a Tweet worthy of making it on Alex's This Week in Tweets. This is a slight consolation for not getting invited to the Chick-fil-A event. Well, except that I didn't get any free food for this tweet. [Everybody Loves You]

Lowell is a fellow Pittsburgher than now lives in Northern Virginia. He loves Harambe and hates John Cullen. He also has an entertaining Twitter account though many of the posts are R-rates. He's also running in the 6.6K run and family walk, so please donate to his cause supporting the Mario Lemieux foundation. [Lemieux Foundation]

Meat Loaf would do anything for love, but he won't do that (meaning give up fantasy sports). [The Washington Post's DC Sports Bog]

Finally, Emma G busks outside my Metro station once a week nearly every week. She usually does cover songs, and she's really good. It's really a nice way to start the day. She recently performed at The Kennedy Center, but before you watch the video check out her amazing story. [Stuff]