The Moose's Bar Mitzvah

The Moose recently turned 13 and celebrated his Bar MItzvah. This is a very big deal. A Bar Mitzvah (for a boy) or a Bat Mitzvah (for a girl) is a coming of age ceremony in Judaism. He went from being a boy to becoming a man. Let's celebrate with a little Motownphilly!

The Moose read from the Torah and led a significant portion of the Shabbat (Sabbath) services. He worked really hard learning prayers in Hebrew and taking weekly lessons over about a 10-11 month period. He did an amazing job.

While I could (and probably should) write more about the Bar Mitzvah and celebration, this post is about the program we created for the service. Actually, this is about the fake program that I created that was not distributed during the service. Here are a few excerpts:

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony takes place when a Jewish child reaches the age of 13. The word Bar Mitzvah means “son of a mitzvah.” Son of a mitzvah sounds much better than a different expression starting with “son of a.” Clearly, this is in reference to the Dusty Springfield song, Son of a Preacher Man. Are you thinking of something else? A mitzvah is an action which connects Jews both to the divine and to all other Jews past, present, and future. In practical terms, this means that this is the age when a Jewish child is considered old enough to assume the rights and responsibilities of Jewish adulthood. The Moose will now be expected to fulfill these moral and ethical commandments throughout his daily life. As an adult, he is also expected to start paying rent and make meals for his brothers. Cleaning the cat’s litter box would also be appreciated.

During the Torah service, the weekly reading is divided into sections, each called an aliyah. At least eight people, including The Moose, will be honored by being called up for an aliyah to the Torah. Before and after each section of the Torah is read, the individual called up for that aliyah recites a blessing or sings songs/reads lyrics of songs by the late singer/actress Aaliyah, most notably from “Try Again” or “Are You That Somebody.” Those with Pittsburgh ties may choose to sing “Ah, Leah” by Donnie Iris.

Two books are used during the service – Lev Shalem, the smaller red prayerbook, and Etz Hayim, the larger red volume, which contains the Torah, selections from the Prophets, and commentary. There used to be a third book, The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, but the rabbis determined that scarlet was not the correct shade of red. The rabbis do approve of the scarlet and gray. O-H!

I also had fun including various celebrities like Adam Sandler, Drake, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis (A Black Swan reunion!), Benny Blanco, Gal Gadot, Rowdy Tellez, Deni Avdija, and others as receiving honors during the service. Dolly Parton and the late Kenny Rogers (via hologram) are listed as reading the poem "No Religion is an Island" since they like islands (in streams).