Thursday, June 13, 2013

Unauthorized 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates Draft Recap

The Major League Baseball draft took place over the weekend. While most analysts and websites focus on the first round draft picks, I like to provide commentary on the other guys as you can see from my 2011 and 2012 recaps. Please note that this is in no apparent order.

15th round: Max Rossiter, C, Arizona State - Read this name and try not to think of rotisserie chicken.

3rd round: JaCoby Jones, CF, LSU - This is my least favorite pick by the Pirates. Sure Jones did a nice job on Dancing With the Stars, but I really don't want a member of the Baltimore Ravens on the Pirates.

It's time to play one of my favorite games. Did the Pirates draft someone Jewish? Here are this year's possibilities:

11th round: Erich Weiss, 3B, Texas
16th round: Billy Roth, RHP, Visa HS (CA)
22nd round: Henry Hirsch, RHP, University of New Haven
36th round: Scott Hoffman, RHP, South Mountain Community College
8th round: Neil Kozikowski, RHP, Avon Old Farms School (CT) -- Maybe not the last one.

5th round: Trae Arbet, SS, Great Oak HS (CA) - I feel like the Pirates management just finished watching an episode of Community when they made this pick.

1st round (#9 pick): Austin Meadows, OF, Grayson HS.(GA) - I'll leave this one to PSAMP who thinks this name sounds like a model home community from Arrested Development.

12th round: Beau Wallace, 3B, Hinds CC - I see PSAMP's Arrested Development reference and raise him with Beau Wallace who sounds like a character from Braveheart.

9th round: Chad Kuhl, RHP, Delaware - I hope that he's the most successful Blue Hen of anyone who attended the University of Delaware in the last ten years.

18th round: Jeff Roy, CF, University of Rhode Island
19th round: Brett McKinney, RHP, Ohio State - This was the portion of the draft where the Pirates drafted players based on where my brother and I went to college. Sadly, the Pirates passed on Ithaca College SS Tim Locastro, drafted by Toronto in the 13th round.

14th round: Nick Buckner, CF, North Shore HS (TX) - I like the fact that the Pirates drafted Bill Buckner's kid.

30th round: Will Kendall, LHP, Auburn - I like the fact that the Pirates drafted Jason Kendall's kid.

34th round: Connor Goedert, 3B, Neosho County CC - I like the fact that the team drafted Pirates minor leaguer Jared Goedert's brother. Wait, Connor actually is Jared's brother.

24th round: Carson Cross, RHP, Connecticut - This pick was made in honor of the late Chris Kelly, AKA the "Mac Daddy." Carson Cross will make you jump, jump.

39th round: Jacob Smigelski, RHP, UC Riverside - The Pirates have struggled against Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija over the past few years. Therefore, the team's strategy to defeat the Cubs was to draft someone with a similar name.

I hope that all of these players have successful careers with the Pirates.

Thanks to Pirates Prospects for providing some serious draft coverage.

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