Asking For Forgiveness

Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, begins on Tuesday evening. I'll spend much of the Tuesday evening and Wednesday at synagogue praying for forgiveness while also trying not to think about the fact that I'm not eating or drinking. However, another important part of this holiday is asking those you have wronged over the past year for forgiveness. While I still need to contact several people, in looking at my blog posts, I think there's some atoning I have to do.

I apologize to Chicago Cubs OF Chris Coghlan for essentially calling him a racist. That wasn't fair. He might be a dirty baseball player, but I crossed the line.

I'm sorry for criticizing the grammar used by Dale Lolley, the Pittsburgh Steelers beat reporter for the Observer-Reporter of Washington (PA)

I'm sorry for using Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back to describe the 2015 Pittsburgh Penguins draft class.

I'm sorry for making fun of Parents Magazine. I may even read one of the last two or three editions that are sitting in a pile under the newspapers.

I'm sorry that we didn't get Jagoff in the dictionary. That would have been cool.

I'm definitely not sorry for winning free burritos for a year again. They are quite tasty.

I'm sorry for criticizing how Peyton Manning dresses. I mean, you would think with the amount of money he makes, he could dress better. I'm going on a tangent here. Sorry for the tangent and sorry Peyton.


For those of you observing Yom Kippur, have an easy and meaningful fast and day. Now, do I need to look at my Twitter posts from the past year to see what I wrote there?

Parents Magazine (I'm Terrible At Creating Post Titles)

I recently started receiving Parents Magazine, and I have no idea why. I mean, I'm a parent, so maybe that's why, but I didn't subscribe, and they just started to appear in my mailbox. Here are some thoughts about the January 2015 issue:

- One of the first articles is titled "Got Mom Guilt? Shake It Off!" The idea is that "there are better ways to make the most of your mom time." If you have a spare 45 minutes, "you can plan to check in with the teacher about your child's current reading level, or you can plan your family's next long-weekend vacay adventure." This is an excellent point. Why bother with your child's reading ability? It's not like he/she will need to read in life.

- Mom guilt isn't really applicable to me, so how about sleep traps. The magazine states that "you want to put your infant in his crib before he gets too sleepy, so that he learns to connect going to sleep with being in his crib, not in your arms." My 9-month old crashes while taking his last bottle EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. So this is bad, Parents Magazine?

- While I'm really not sure what lip color is for me, I'm guessing that it's not Isla Fisher's purple.

- Did you know that "39% of adults spend more than 11 hours outside of work using electronic media each day," according to Northwestern University? I wondered how this is even possible but the article continues that playing Candy Crush while watching TV counts as double. How did the article know that I'm watching TV, typing this blog post, and playing both Trivia Crack and Xbox at the same time?

- Now here's an article for me: Real Eye Openers

1. Apply mascara to top lashes only. Done.

2. Dab a dewy balm on you lids. Um, what is a dewy balm?

3. Use the "starburst method of applying mascara. Is there any other way?

4. Know where your brow arch should be. I think this was the original version of a Whitney Houston song.

5. Never underestimate the power of curled lashes and groomed, filled-in brows. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THIS POWER!

6. Apply luminizer under your concealer. The Luminizer. Coming to theaters this May.

- "By just 6 months, your baby can see 20/30, or in other words, almost as well as you." That's really cute. My vision hasn't been 20/30 since elementary school.

That was fun. There are actually a few useful articles, so as long as I don't get billed, I'm certainly happy to continue to peruse Parents Magazine.