State of the Ramblings: Edge of Seventeen

Sean's Ramblings is officially 17 years old. I think that's about 214 in blog years! It's been an odd year. When I wrote the State of Ramblings in January 2021, my kids were still attending school from home virtually, vaccines were only beginning to roll out, and my work-life balance of working from home with everyone here was a disaster. I mean, although everything got done, it came at the expense of sleep and my writing. The beginning of the year on the blog focused on things at home. I watched the Biden inauguration, played Just Dance with my kids, and attempted to potty train Luigi.

Then, things started to open up. The older two kids went back to school and all of the kids went to camp this summer. We drove thousands of miles on I-95 for vacation, everyone returned to school/preschool and work this fall, and the kids played organized baseball and soccer. I also went to Nashville where I shared an elevator with Robert Plant and visited the Grand Ole Opry.

I wrote a lot about anniversaries this past year. The 20th anniversary of 9/11, the 20th anniversary of my less than 24-hour trip to see the Pittsburgh Penguins face the Buffalo Sabres in a game 7 playoff game, and the one-year anniversary of my dad's passing.

I started a brand new series called "Hills I'm willing to die on." I wrote two whole posts, so apparently there aren't many hills that I'm willing to die on. Hopefully, I'll find more hills in 2022.  

I still like pretending that I'm a sports blogger sometimes. My 2021 Pirates predections post was quite thorough and included a fantastic group of contributors. I also continued to write draft recaps of the Pirates and Steelers, which are always fun.

My favorite posts may have been the ultimate list of famous Ithaca College grads and an interview with Jake Rosenberg of the Israeli national baseball team.

Overall, I wrote 100 posts in 2021. That's the first time I've reached triple digits in blog posts since 2016. For 2022, I want to do something big. I don't know what that is yet. I've talked about covering the Oscars or Emmys or even a sporting event but that seems unlikely thanks to COVID. (And the fact that the Academy Awards people have not sent me an acceptance or denial response for this year's ceremonies. When I applied, they said I would receive a reply in 2 business days. It's now been almost two months. Maybe they're waiting to give me the VIP media credential!)  Anyway, I have an idea for a huge interview which probably has a 2% chance of happening. That might be high. We'll see.

Thanks to all of you for reading my blog and for your support over the years. I have no idea how I've written this for 17 years!

One Year With A Car

People have remembered the one year “anniversary” of the pandemic and the start of things shutting down in many ways. Maybe by counting the number of days kids have been in (or out of) school. Perhaps by the last time you attended a live sporting event or concert. For me, there are two ways that I count the time. The first is my dad passing away. The second is getting a new car.

Back in 2017, I got in an accident, and the insurance company determined that it made more sense to send me a check rather than put money into repairing a 14 year old car. With a third child on the way, we decided to lease a Honda Odyssey. The car was what we needed, but we also didn’t want to spend the amount it would have cost to purchase the vehicle. Fast forward to March 2020. The lease was ending, and I definitely didn’t feel comfortable visiting multiple dealerships to search for a new car. Plus, not knowing what the future would hold, leasing again seemed like a good option for us. So after contacting dealerships online and by phone, we settled on another Honda Odyssey at a location near us. I did a quick test drive, filled out the paperwork (which was not as quick), exchanged the Hondas, and brought home a new car.

(This is a stock photo. Our car hasn't been close to an ocean.)

One year later, we have about 2,300 miles on it. As a comparison, my dad and I drove more than that in one week going from Pittsburgh to San Diego for my job after college. Several months ago, I calculated the amount of money we have paid for the car between the down payment and the monthly payments per mile driven. Even without including insurance payments and getting gas, this was not a fun exercise.

The silver lining to all of us this is there is little chance that we'll exceed the 36,000 miles on the three-year lease!

Random Ramblings: March 2021

* While I'm happy that more and more people are getting vaccines, I'll admit that I'm getting a little jealous of seeing people my age and younger getting vaccinated. I realize that I'm in decent health without any underlying medical conditions, and I don't work in a medical profession or any other job that would qualify as an essential worker, but I'd still like to get vaccinated sooner rather than later. I'm hoping for May or June.

* With Passover coming up, a catering company offered all types of meals and side dishes. When I saw that they have a Kosher for Passover brisket meal serving 6 for $40, I jumped at it thinking it was an incredible deal. About a week after submitting the order, the catering company contacted me after noticing that I only ordered 1 meal when the minimum order was 6. That $40 was actually $40 per person, which makes complete sense now. After learning that I would need to spend $240 for this meal, with little chance that my kids would eat much of this (and the fact that it's $240!), I revised the order and went off the a la carte menu.

* Although I have not worked as a soccer referee since November 2019, I continue to receive constant emails looking for refs to work games. I'm planning on taking the spring season off (see the not vaccinated thing above), so it might be nearly two years between working games. I think that I'm a pretty good ref, but I'm definitely going to need to brush up on the laws of the game when I return. Starting with some lower-level kids games might be a good way to start too rather than working adult games. 

* My 4th grader and 1st grader recently returned to school two days a week. With only my 3 year old at home on these days, I thought that I might be able to get a lot more work done. That has not happened. Apparently, he likes the one-on-one attention that he's rarely had over the last year.

* Once again, I'm happy that I didn't put any money on the NCAA Tournament. I fill out brackets for fun, but learned years ago that I'm just throwing away money in any pay polls. While I completed several brackets, I had Illinois getting to the championship or winning in most of them and also had Ohio State going far. I chose poorly.

* Finally, thanks to my family and friends for nominating me for Pittsburgh Magazine's 2021 Best of The 'Burgh in the local writer category. I'm a finalist up against these accomplished individuals: 

Damon Young, author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (which is a finalist for the Thurber House for American Humor) and co-founder and editor in chief of VerySmartBrothas.

Gene Collier - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist who I read growing up. He's also received a few Pulitzer Prize nominations.

Merecedes J. Williams - She's the owner and operator of Movie Scene Queen and writes for the New Pittsburgh Courier 

Natalie Bencivenga - Syndicated advice columnist who is also a Public Relations Strategist for Savvy Pittsburgh

Tony Norman - Award-winning columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

You're certainly welcome to vote for me, but this is truly a case where it's an honor being nominated. While I enjoy writing this blog, I'm clearly a distant sixth in this group.

My Life in Pictures: March 2021

My first grader (Pedro Tulo) returned to in-person school for the first time in exactly a year last week. Half the class goes to school two days a week while the other half are on the computer, and then they switch for the other two days. Teachers deserve so much credit for teaching kids in person and online at the same time. The Moose goes back to fourth grade for two days this week. Meanwhile, I'm still juggling being home with the kids, including the continued attempt to get Luigi potty trained, and working from home. With everything going on, I thought I would share some pictures from the last few weeks.

If you're looking for a DJ for a special event after the pandemic ends, Ziggy is available!

With some warmer weather, we returned to our hiking spot that we discovered last summer. A tree on the ground just looks cool.

My wife bought a water bottle to help track how much water she drinks each day. It's supposed to be motivating, but I'm just annoyed and appalled by the grammar. Were instead of we're! Your instead of you're! Vamonos is spelled wrong too. Did no one check this?

C'mon person in my neighborhood. I'm glad that you cleaned up after your dog, but it's poor form to leave the bag on the ground.

I have read exactly zero books (I'm not including books I read to my kids) since the pandemic started last March. I decided that this had to change. Two authors that I like published new books, so I bought them from an independent bookstore in Jackson, Mississippi. Feel free to start singing "Uptown Funk." Anyway, I started "The Big Door Prize," and even though it's taken me 3-4 weeks to read 70 pages, it's nice to read for myself again.

Finally, Luigi has discovered that he can take pictures with my phone. Here are some highlights:

The End of Shloshim

It's been really easy for me to remember when the coronavirus became more than just something that impacted people internationally or on cruise ships. My dad's funeral was on Wednesday, March 11th. That evening, the NBA shut down after Utah Jazz's Rudy Gobert tested positive for COVID-19, Tom Hanks announced that he tested positive in Australia, and Sarah Palin was revealed as the Bear on The Masked Singer. It was truly a surreal day. 

On our drive home from Pittsburgh a few days later, we found out that my kids' schools and my office were going to be closed the following week. I went to my synagogue for Shabbat services on Friday night and Saturday and people really didn't know how to react. There were a few elbow bumps but no handshakes or hugs. This was also before people realized that masks helped. On Sunday evening, we hosted some friends for shiva, part of the week-long mourning period in Judaism, and that was really the last time I spent time with people other than those in my home without social distancing. 

Right around that time, many people around the country started to realize that a lot of things needed to happen online instead of in person and that included religious services. While my own synagogue hosted services online each week on Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I needed somewhere for the other days of the week.

(Sorry. I've been in the same room as my first grader during his school day for months!)

On that first Monday and Tuesday, I found an online minyan (a quorum of 10 people for a prayer service) in order to say the Mourner's prayer for my dad. I didn't know anyone at that particular synagogue, and it was awkward with everyone trying to figure out how an online service should work. Then, I connected with a friend from college who just happened to be a rabbi. Even though she and her synagogue are several thousand miles and several time zones away, I started joining their minyans. So every day since I got home from the funeral in March, I've attended a minyan between my synagogue and my friend's congregation (with an occasional cameo at my brother's synagogue). While I wrote about much of this way back in June, the period of Shloshim* officially ended for me on Monday. (I also tried to explain what shiva and shloshim are in that post.) Before I get to the thank you portion of this post, I thought I would share some highlights from attending online services every day since March.

- Seeing a guy in his 70s without a shirt while eating breakfast at his kitchen table.

- Witnessing a family perform the Adon Olam prayer/song together to the tune of Backstreet Boys' I Want It That Way. (It was truly awesome!)

- Being able to "attend" a Bar Mitzvah in Arizona while in my own home.

- Attending a B'Not Mitzvah and listening to three girls singing almost magically together.

- Wearing pajama pants for the vast majority of these services. 

- Hearing some variation of "you're on mute," "you need to unmute yourself," or "can everyone mute themselves" probably hundreds of times.

- Watching a recognizable TV personality on the computer screen as he attended the same service as me. He appeared to be wearing a Cleveland Browns sweater. 

(It was not one of the guys in this picture.)

It's amazing that my dad passed away 11 months ago in the Hebrew calendar. Being able to attend these services has really been comforting. With everything going on in my life and in the country during this pandemic, this has been the one consistent part of my life each and every day. I now have two separate communities where I feel welcomed. And yes, it's still a little strange knowing many of these people only via Zoom and never really having one-on-one conversations. I'm not trying to do a silver lining thing here, but I wouldn't have done services during the entire 11-month period every day in normal times. It just wouldn't have been realistic with commuting to and from work, kids activities, and even just driving to services. 

I want to thank my family for being supportive in me doing services the entire time. Thanks to both synagogues for having online minyans during the pandemic. And thanks to you for reading this blog post. 

* Update/Correction: Shloshim in Hebrew means 30, so the 30-day mourning period actually ended in April. There does not seem to be a specific name for the 11-month period for a parent, so I'm using the term incorrectly. Since this has already been published, I'll keep the name, especially since The End of the 11-Month Mourning Period isn't as "catchy" of a title.

Joe Biden's Inauguration

I started writing Sean's Ramblings only weeks before George W. Bush's second inauguration, so Wednesday's inauguration of President Joe Biden is my fifth opportunity to write about such an event. Considering that I've lived in Northern Virginia during this entire time, you would think that I would have a good story to share about attending an inaugural ball or standing on the national mall during a ceremony. Nope. In January 2005, just after I started this blog, instead of writing about Bush's inauguration, I shared that our heat wasn't working. In 2009, I listened to Obama's inauguration on the radio while driving from Buffalo to New York City at the conclusion of that year's hockey road trip. I mentioned this only briefly, but I then took a bus from New York to DC. Once I arrived in DC, I got the Metro at Union Station and saw people dressed in tuxedos and gowns going to or from a ball on the platform and the trains. Meanwhile, I was carrying a suitcase and looking completely disheveled. Someone who appeared to be homeless asked me if I had an extra pair of socks, and even though I said they were dirty, he graciously accepted a pair. So giving away a pair of socks at a Metro station is the closest I have to an inauguration story.

Wednesday's inauguration was nice. I mean, I'm sure that there are plenty of other words that you can use but nice just seems right. Joe Biden talked about unity and being the president for all Americans. He was empathetic in having a moment of silence for those who passed away during the pandemic. Overall, Biden came across as a good guy who wants to serve the American people which I think he really is and wants to do. I'll write more about Biden momentarily.

Kamala Harris formerly becoming the first female Vice President was truly a historic moment. Amanda Gorman gave an incredible address that really stole the show, which is amazing to think about considering that Lady Gaga (and her pendant), Jennifer Lopez, and Garth Brooks (and his belt buckle) all performed. And I could spend hours looking at Bernie Sanders memes. 

Look, I don't know how the Biden presidency is going to go. It's refreshing to know that Biden isn't going to insult people on Twitter. That he's going to be empathetic during tragedies. That he's not going to argue about crowd sizes or constantly bring up electoral college results. He's definitely not going to encourage his supporters to march to the Capitol. This is an incredibly low bar, but this is where we are in January 2021. Based on the current state of the country, I expect Biden to have early success. Over 400,000 Americans have now passed away due to COVID-19 and the job market is awful. He has nowhere else to go but up. I fully expect him to do everything in his power to distribute vaccines and try to end the coronavirus. Meanwhile, the stock market and retirement accounts are doing great, which shows the disconnect between those with wealth and those who don't. I really think Biden is going to try to help those unemployed and struggling.

Now passing legislation is going to be much tougher, especially with a 50-50 split in the Senate. Biden is not going to get a honeymoon period. For example, Senator Ted Cruz tweeted this on Wednesday:

By rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement, President Biden indicates he's more interested in the views of the citizens of Paris than in the jobs of the citizens of Pittsburgh. This agreement will do little to affect the climate and will harm the livelihoods of Americans.

I'll disregard the fact that just two weeks ago, Cruz tried to block the certification of Pennsylvania's election results (including by voters in Pittsburgh). It just shows that Biden is going to get opposition on pretty much anything he does. Oh, I will write that it was fun to see Pittsburgh Twitter unified in their disdain for Cruz. If you ever follow Twitter during a Steelers game, you know that there is never any unity or agreement among Pittsburgh people.

Anyway, my point to this whole post is that the inauguration was nice, and I'm hopeful that Biden has a successful presidency. I wish him and Kamala Harris good health and good luck. 

Biden photo by Brendan Smialowski AFP. Harris photo by Getty Images.

My Life At Home

I've thought about writing this post for several months now. I even started a draft in early October, but I never got around to finishing it. I just want to write a blog post about my life, and I guess this is it. Before I really get started, I know that I'm fortunate. My family has been healthy, and my wife and I are both employed. There are millions of others in our country that aren't as fortunate. Even though my office has been closed since March, I'm grateful that I'm able to work from home and that my organization is completely supportive of my crazy schedule.

And let's get to that schedule. My kids are in 4th grade, 1st grade, and preschool. They are all home 24/7. The older two boys have school Monday through Friday, and I need to make sure they are doing what they're supposed to be doing. They each click on multiple links during the day for various teachers and classes. I spend much of my day ensuring that they are focused on their learning, listening to their teachers, and completing their assignments. In the case of The Moose (the 4th grader), I find this to be particularly challenging. He's old enough where if he were in school, he would do his work in the classroom and submit it directly to his teacher. I would never see it. While I want him to make mistakes and learn from them without me reviewing his assignments, I also want to make sure his work is complete and that he didn't rush through it. It's a balance that we haven't adequately achieved. On top of all this I've become the IT support for the kids. And in charge of recess. And occasionally the cafeteria staff member.

Meanwhile I joked back in September just after the school year started that Luigi (the preschooler) would just fend for himself. He has all kinds of toys and games that he plays with, and I put him on the screen if I have a meeting or really need to get something done uninterrupted. I try to avoid giving him too much screen time during the day. There are plenty of times when I'm doing work, and he'll come up to me and say "Play me Daddy." While he's missing the word with, the point is clear. He wants me to play with him, and it's hard to say no to that. We probably should start him with potty training more than we do. The problem is that I just don't have time to take him to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes or so. I don't push it especially since he's not interested in potty training yet.

Based on what you just read, you can probably tell that I'm not getting nearly the amount of work done than I would if I was at my office without kids. Of course, I'm not commuting two hours a day either, so that helps. Still, I always feel like I'm behind. Because of this, I find that I do work most nights after the kids go to sleep. I often fall asleep on the couch doing work and wake up to do a little more work. I send emails out after midnight, though I've discovered the delay delivery option, so it looks like I send them out at a reasonable time. I also find that I try to get work done on weekends. I definitely don't get enough sleep.

I probably need a break, but what does that really look like? It's not like I'm going to go to the movie theater or take a road trip to see a Steelers game. A day off is just me with the family like every other day. That's probably why I have taken exactly one day off of work since March. And that day was for Yom Kippur. Actually, I would likely spend a day off taking Luigi to and from the bathroom all day.

So what do I do for down time? My friends and I still try to do trivia every few weeks. A group of friends from college have started having Zoom calls every month which has been a really nice way to reconnect. I also continue to do a minyan every day in memory of my dad. While it's nice to have some normalcy in this routine, there are definitely days where this seems like an obligation.

I'm not trying to be negative in this post. This is simply my life. I know that I'll look back once this pandemic ends and appreciate all of the time I'm spending with my kids. In the middle of this though, there are times when I could use a  break particularly since they are not at all independent right now. Maybe it would be worthwhile to talk to someone professionally about all of this, but I don't know if it's necessary. I also don't want to spend money for myself on a therapist. Instead, I try to blog while I can, and I've watched some really good TV shows lately. In addition, I'm enjoying trying to spread the tradition of eating and tasting pickles during Chanukah. (Please like my Pickles at Chanukah Facebook page!) I guess that's my release.

Photo by Elizabeth Dalziel.

Hiking Fun

During this pandemic, we've taken social distancing very seriously, particularly with the kids. While they play outside on our street everyday and have some interaction with other kids in our neighborhood, who we know are also adamant about social distancing, they really haven't done much outside of our neighborhood since March. The one exception are some trails that we recently discovered. Behind a soccer field at elementary school are various trails that lead to a creek. I'm not sure many people know about it as we've only seen a couple people (and dogs) each time that we went. The kids really enjoy the trails, so we're definitely making this a regular activity even after the pandemic ends. Here are some pictures of our adventures:

Welcome To The Jungle

Overall, I think I've been pretty positive during this pandemic. I mean I absolutely miss seeing my friends and family. As I mentioned a few months ago, we're not comfortable traveling, so we didn't go on a family trip to Hilton Head and we haven't visited my mom in Florida. I guess I'm distracting myself by keeping really busy. Even though I'm working from home, I just realized that I haven't taken a day off (except for Memorial Day and July 4th) since I got home from my dad's funeral right when everything started shutting down in March. I find that I'm doing work or checking work email at all hours of the day and even on weekends. Part of this is because I'm not working a traditional 9:00-5:00, so there are many days where I feel like I didn't get enough done. That's when I end up opening my computer after the kids go to bed.

That first paragraph didn't sound very positive, so let's go with this. I am definitely spending more time with my kids than I have before. We play outside  or in our basement every day, and it's nice having three meals together. (Now if they would eat more!)

Over the last few months, I've become accustomed to knowing things would be cancelled or postponed. I was disappointed that Celebrate Fairfax didn't occur in June, but I expected it. I think we all knew that in-person school wouldn't happen for the kids this fall too. I was supposed to see Green Day, Weezer, and Fall Out Boy on Saturday night, but that was postponed until 2021 weeks ago. 

So between being busy with work and family and expecting things to be cancelled, I've tried to remain positive. I feel like that's important for the kids and my own personal sanity. Yet, considering everything, it was this that made me sad:

This is Herr Metal, a cover band of 80s hair metal (hence the name) who play hits from groups like Guns 'n' Roses, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Poison, and more. They put on great shows, and I've probably seen them 6-7 times over the last few years (including at last year's Celebrate Fairfax). The link to the video above is from a livestream concert put on by Herndon's Friday Night Live. It sort of hit me the other night that I really miss going to live concerts. A staple of our summers has been attending various free concerts and performances organized by local government agencies and shopping centers. It's something that I really enjoy doing with my kids. My oldest has outgrown some of the kids performers, but I think now he'd enjoy some of the more all ages concerts. That's obviously not happening this summer, and I really miss not going to these shows with them and/or my friends.

A Coronavirus Post

I'm writing this just after midnight Eastern time on Wednesday, July 15th, 2020. As of this date, over 136,000 people have died in the United States due to the coronavirus. I'm not getting into a discussion that COVID-19 is a hoax trying to hurt Trump or that the total number of deaths is inflated or that the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is lying to us like former game show host Chuck Woolery and apparently our president seem to believe (or at least supports this thinking). The people who think this probably aren't reading my blog anyway. I've spent a lot of time over the last few days reading Facebook posts and updates from a friend from high school. Her husband, who is around my age, has been in the hospital for more than a week due to COVID-19. Without sharing his medical information, my friend continuously asks us for our prayers because of the serious nature of his condition. 

The point of this post is not to convince people that this virus is real but to look into the future. How is the next generation going to look at how our country responded during this pandemic? I think they'll be amazed (obviously not in a good way) that people really had "COVID parties." That despite scientific evidence that wearing masks helps stop the spread of the virus, many people continue not to wear masks in public spaces and in businesses and cite freedom and the constitution or something. Just today (well, yesterday), CDC director Robert Redfield (who I always think is the actor when I see his name) said, "I really do believe if the American public all embraced masking now and we really did it, you know, rigorously ... I think if we can get everybody to wear a mask right now, I really do think over the next four to six, eight weeks, we can bring this epidemic under control."  

I'd love for our country to try to test this theory, but we all know that it's not going to happen. For example, over 30 people are currently suing the Western Pennsylvania grocery store chain Giant Eagle for requiring customers to wear masks. (I don't know the merits of the cases, but it seems like the grocery store is offering its customers options to get groceries without entering the store.) 

In 25 or 50 years, people aren't going to believe that some members of the previous generations refused to wear masks. They are also going to be astounded that COVID tests took days if not longer to get results. That the president and Congress gave a one-time "stimulus relief" to people and businesses, though millions of dollars seem to be unaccounted for or went to companies in less need of relief than many, many, many others. (Actually, in 25 or 50 years, people will definitely believe that last one.) I didn't even include the ridiculous statements by some of our leaders that the number of positive coronavirus cases are increasing because there are more tests and that if there weren't these tests, there wouldn't be as many cases. And I'm sure that the number of pregnancies would go down if women didn't have pregnancy tests!  

It's just frustrating living through these times where there's no end in sight. Everything gets politicized. You would think that trying to eliminate the coronavirus and saving lives would be the top priority and something the entire country could rally around together. That's obviously not happening. Just wake me up in 2 and 2 when we have a vaccine because it seems like nothing else is going to flatten the curve or stop the spread! (I realize that there are going to be thousands if not millions of people who won't get a vaccine but that will probably be a separate blog post in 2021.)



Update: I forgot to add this portion when I originally published this blog post.

Occasionally, I think about how our country could have responded better to COVID-19. Many people first really took this virus seriously when Tom Hanks announced that he tested positive and when Rudy Gobert of the Utah Jazz also tested positive followed by the NBA shutting down the league. Although Gobert has said that he still doesn't have his full sense of smell back, many people feel like both and most other recognizable people who contracted COVID-19 fully recovered. I don't follow British politics very closely, but I'm sure the UK realized that COVID-19 was a big deal when Prime Minister Boris Johnson was in the hospital due to this virus. I'm not sure that made much or any impact in the US. I wonder if the country's response would have been different if someone like Senator Rand Paul became really ill and was hospitalized after he tested positive to the coronavirus. At a minimum, I doubt he would have been so critical of Dr. Anthony Fauci during Senate hearings. If Paul continued to have health problems ever after being released from the hospital, I just think that our government would have done more and more people wouldn't think that this virus was a hoax.

It's All a Conspiracy

I'm friends with someone on Facebook who posted this:

The birthday cake background is a nice touch! I'm not going to attack or defend Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf (or author Tom Wolfe) here. In my opinion, some people must have contracted COVID-19 based on their proximity to others during the protests. I also think it's likely that more people contracted COVID-19 from being in confined spaces with no social distancing in bars. It can be both. 

Back to the Facebook post, someone (we'll call him Danny) posted this comment:

Danny: just a ploy to continue to destroy our economy and hurt Trump.

In theory, I know that there are people out there who believe this. That's part of the "It's my constitutional right not to wear a mask" argument. Still, I hadn't seen this in real life by someone I'm tangentially connected to before. Against my better judgement, I decided to reply.

Me: Wait, so the entire COVID-19 with 123,000+ deaths and millions unemployed is a ploy to hurt Trump?  

Danny: the numbers are padded with the extra diagnosis of "covid-related" whatever that is and also the CDC quit counting regular flu deaths in April so those have been added in also.... and the average person that dies of covid has 3 pre-existing conditions and could have died of any of those but they call it covid because there is the financial incentive to medicare getting 13,000 dollars for each death they call covid…. surprised I had to explain all that to you 

Me:I guess that you need to explain more to me. So the thousands of deaths in May and June should be flu deaths? I didn't realize the US had so many flu deaths in those months.

And going back to the ploy to hurt Trump comment. Based on the significant increase of the number of COVID cases and deaths in Florida, Texas, and Arizona, the governors of these states, who I always thought were on Trump's side, are actually also involved in this plot to hurt him?

Who exactly is getting $13,000 for each COVID death and where is it coming from? Thanks in advance for the explanations.  

I should also add, why is the executive office trying to take away health insurance right now when more people than ever need it? Is that to help make sure that someone doesn't get $13000?

Danny: good question Sean I don't know about the insurance.... I know under Obamacare that the insurance that was known as catastrophic before became the normal insurance with high copays and high deductible.... thx for hearing my thoughts and have a great night brother 

I'm glad that it didn't get any further. I didn't really want to shift to a discussion about health insurance. Still, who is this big conspiracy that is sacrificing thousands of Americans just to hurt Trump? I mean is Trump really going to get hurt by all this? Worse case scenario for him is that he loses the election, but he still has plenty of money and will be able to live just fine as a former President. (Well assuming that he doesn't get charged and convicted on various sexual assault allegations and lawsuits related to financial and tax dealings and then doesn't get pardoned by Biden.) I don't understand how someone can say that there aren't any attempts at voter suppression (Hello Georgia and Wisconsin!), yet there's a massive conspiracy to unleash the worst virus in our lifetimes just to hurt Trump.

I'll end with this picture of the Dippy, the diplodocus outside the Carnegie Museum in Pittsburgh.

This is ridiculous. This diplodocus died so that we would have the freedom to not wear masks (even though it's in the best interest and the heath and safety of everyone to wear masks).

Photo by The Notorious C.H.U.C.K.

Why I Stay Home During The Coronavirus

Despite the fact that as of June 8th, we're right around 109,000 deaths and nearly 2 million cases of COVID-19 in the United States, many parts of the country are reopening and seemingly close to returning to normal. This post isn't to say whether this is right or wrong. This post is just about me and what I'm doing.

I live in Fairfax County, Virginia not far from Washington DC. The greater Washington area has been one of the harder hit areas in the country (though nowhere near New York City and New Jersey) and was even labelled as a COVID-19 hotspot last month. Virginia was one of the first places in the country to close schools for the academic year, and the stay-at-home order for Northern Virginia was only lifted on May 29th. As I'm typing this, much of Virginia is now in "Phase 2" while we're in "Phase 1." Basically, there are still too many new cases each day to move us to Phase 2. Fairfax County publishes the number of new cases daily with additional data on cases by age, race, and zip code. I started tracking the specific number of cases in my zip code on May 25th. In the two weeks since then, we're up 51 cases. In case you're wondering, that's 605 cases per 100,000 people. Again, while other parts of the country may have no new cases, that's not the situation here.  

I am fortunate that I have a job and am able to work from home. I know that there are millions of other people throughout the country who aren't in this position. The work at home part is important because of my commute. In normal times, I take the bus to the Metro to get to work, and then the Metro to the bus to get home. My bus route hasn't operated in two months and Metro has significantly reduced service (and now my station is closed for the summer for construction). 

Now the big factor. My kids. Six year old Pedro Tulo had several "dizzy spells" a few years ago. He was too young at the time to really couldn't explain what was happening. I personally never saw him have these episodes, but there seemed to be no rhyme or reason as to why or when they occurred. After going to several different doctors, it turned out that these dizzy spells were actually seizures. That's a scary diagnosis for a parent! He's taken anti-seizure medicine for the last year and a half, and fortunately, he's been seizure free since then. 

The few things I read online seem to show that seizures do not make someone immunocompromised. In addition, according to the Epilepsy Foundation, "the early information from countries where outbreaks have occurred suggests that the risk of worsening seizures with COVID-19 seems low for more people with epilepsy." Still, it doesn't seem like there have been comprehensive studies on this. I should probably mention that Pedro Tulo touches everything and regularly puts his fingers in his mouth. He's the last person I want to take to a highway rest stop, a sit-in restaurant, or anywhere with crowds.

Which brings me to travel and the summer in general. The kids' camps are closed and who knows what will happen with schools this fall. Daycare for two year old Luigi is a question mark too this fall. If his school opens, I assume Luigi will go back. Still, there's no way that the kids can be socially distant from each other. I can't imagine that the kids will keep masks on.  And if one kid in a class gets sick, there's a good chance others will get sick too. In January or February, Luigi stayed home for a week because of RSV (a common respiratory virus for kids) which resulted in a fever that he couldn't shake. Most of the class got RSV. But school and daycare are more than two months away. I'll worry about that then.

For now, I know that my family has been good at keeping socially distant, but my worry is about going outside our bubble. Others aren't being as vigilant. I've seen videos from beaches in Texas, the Ozarks in Missouri and during some of the protests and talked with a friend in beach-town in Florida where you would never know that there was a pandemic going on. This worries me about traveling anywhere. This article from The Washington Post didn't make me feel better:

But a briefing document prepared by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and distributed Thursday to senior federal officials captured the scale of the challenges remaining. FEMA tracks how many days in a row a state records a decline in new daily coronavirus cases. Thirteen states — Arizona, California, Idaho, Kentucky, Mississippi, Nebraska, Oregon, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin — had not shown a sustained daily decrease as of Tuesday, according to the document, a copy of which was obtained by The Post.

Here's the bottom line. Until my office reopens, the bus route returns, and there are no new cases in my zip code, why would I feel comfortable resuming life as normal? (And I'm counting wearing a mask as normal.)  And when I see videos of people not being socially distant, why would I want to go anywhere or be near crowds with people who still think this is a hoax? Look, I'm not a fearful person even though it certainly sounds like it after reading this post. I'm just taking the summer off. I'm going to spend more time with my kids than I would normally, and we'll do that from home getting plenty of time outside. I know that we miss seeing family and friends in person, but maybe because of their ages, the kids seem happy which is the most important thing.

Feel free to disagree and do your own thing. This is just what I'm doing.

Mourning During COVID-19: June Update

Let me preface this by stating that this is a bit of an unusual post for me. I get into religion and prayer, but it ends with me trying to be funny. Actually, most of my posts are me trying to be funny, though I'm not sure how often I succeed. 

In tradition Judaism, there is a seven-day period of mourning following the burial called shiva. There is also a 30-day period after the burial, including the seven days of shiva, called Sheloshim, which is observed by immediate family members. You don't work during the shiva period, but you can work during Sheloshim though there are still some restrictions. The restrictions are refraining from attending joyous celebrations like weddings, dances, or parties. Basically, anything with music. If the deceased is a parent, there is a full year of mourning (actually 11 months) where the restrictions still apply. Apparently, there is a loophole here. Let's say that you're a musician who earns a living by playing at weddings. In this case, you can still do your job. The same would apply if you help out at a joyous occasion. Like help clear some dishes or set the table. Anyway, through all of this, you're also supposed to attend services daily to say the Mourner's Kaddish prayer.

Still with me? Thanks!

I wrote a post back in March about mourning the loss of my dad at the beginning of the COVID-19 stay at home period. Over two months later, and just a few days after we started "Phase 1" in Northern Virginia, a lot of things haven't changed. Thanks to Zoom, I've participated in some type of prayer service every day since my dad's funeral with the exception of the first night of Passover since we were doing a Seder. Why is this night different than all other nights indeed! In normal times, I wouldn't attend services daily. I probably would have during the Sheloshim period, but it just wouldn't have been realistic to do this every day for a full year. To be a parent to three kids while commuting about two hours to and from work each day and then driving to a synagogue (or synagogues since mine doesn't have daily services) for a service and then back home? There's no way. Being at home, however, all I have to go to a different room for 30-45 minutes (or more on Saturdays). It's become a constant for me. Some sense of normalcy in these otherwise very abnormal times. I mentioned some of what I just wrote in that March post.

And now to a dramatic shift in this post. 

The Torah portion a few weeks ago was Parashat Bamidbar. Yes, I just included a word with "shat" in it in a blog post! At this point, the ten plagues already happened and the Jews were freed from slavery in Egypt thanks in part to the leadership of Charlton Heston.

We join this story already in progress where a census is taken of the Israelite community. What's interesting is that the census only counted men who were 20 or older. It seems totally unfair that some Israelites were old enough to buy lottery tickets, but couldn't get counted in the census. Oh yeah, they didn't count women either. You can probably predict that every rabbi in America made sure to include the importance of the 2020 census in their sermon. 

A significant part of the portion is then spent naming all of the men responsible for conducting the census. There are a lot of biblical names that are still common today. Jacob, Rebecca, and Sara are at the top of the list. This Torah portion listed some names that I think are due for a comeback. So if you are expecting a boy or have a new pet, I hope that you consider these names: Zurishaddai, Zuar, Eliab, Ochran, Deuel, and Pagiel.

The world would be a better place with more Zuars. Zuar good, Zuul bad!

George Floyd, Mike Pence, and The State of The Country

On Saturday night, I turned on the TV expecting to watch a movie or show. Instead, I watched coverage of protests occurring throughout the country. A few minutes later, 9 year old The Moose, who I thought was asleep, came downstairs and wanted to see what I was watching. His immediate response to what was on the screen was questioning why people weren’t social distancing or wearing masks. I tried to explain the death of George Floyd and the reason behind the protests, but he really didn’t fully grasp what was happening. While it’s good that he understands the seriousness of the coronavirus, he’s still a fairly sheltered white kid living in the suburbs.

On Sunday morning, The Moose in turn tried to explain the protests to 6 year old Pedro Tulo, who was much more interested in breakfast and didn’t listen to his brother. That was probably for the best since I know that Pedro Tulo wouldn't understand anything.

I don’t have much to add to what’s happening across the country. The protests are happening for the right reason to fight injustice. Meanwhile, the looting and destruction appear to be done by people just to create chaos and harm. It seems to have little or nothing to do with the reasons behind the protests.

I’m going on a brief tangent here, and I know that I’m not the first person to mention this. On Friday, Vice President Mike Pence posted this tweet.

I think the vast majority of people are for peaceful protests. This would include the VP, right?

So much has happened in the last few years that it’s really easy to forget this. Mike Pence travelled to Indianapolis to participate in a jersey retirement ceremony for Peyton Manning and to make a scene at a Colts-49ers football game. Everyone knew that players on the 49ers would take a knee during the national anthem. Pence and President Trump came up with a plan that if any player kneeled during the anthem, Pence would leave. How much money did it cost or security was needed for Pence to pull off this stunt? Anyway, he clearly didn't like a peaceful protest then and essentially took the ball and went home.

Anyway, I'm just frustrated with the direction of this country right now. There is no leadership or empathy in the executive office. We're at over 100,000 COV-19 deaths right now and sky-high unemployment rates. To The Moose's point at the beginning of this post, there definitely hasn't been social distancing during these protests. There have also been plenty of pictures and videos in places like the Ozarks and Florida and Texas beaches where people are crowded together like nothing was out of the ordinary. Is there any reason to believe that we won't be at 150,000-200,000 deaths by the November election or that the economy will dramatically improve? So if we didn't make America great again over the last 3.5 years, how are we now supposed to re-elect the current leader and believe that we're going to "Transition to Greatness" after November?

While Joe Biden is not my first (or second or third) choice to be President, my hope is that this country will elect him, so that we can have a grown-up in charge. Someone with empathy. Not someone who urges governors to use force against unruly protesters. We don't need a Tiananmen Square in America! Not someone who will pick fights with anyone who disagrees with him or yell LAW & ORDER or CHINA on Twitter. The only time where it's appropriate to use phrases like this on Twitter is while watching a sporting event and tweeting GOAL or TOUCHDOWN STEELERS! Seriously, if one of your friends or parents did this, you would think they were crazy and probably unfollow them.

I have no grand conclusion here. Our country needs to be better. To care more for each other and to demand justice when needed and necessary.

Friday Video: Shake Break

My kids have been learning online for the last few months. For my kindergartener, Pedro Tulo, this means an hour with his teachers and class Monday through Thursday with separate assignments sent by the teachers online as well as packets mailed by the school district. After a bumpy (at best) start, it's actually gone pretty well. Kids are probably much better at adapting to changes like this than their parents!

Still, sitting for an hour in front of a screen can be difficult, particularly for Pedro Tulo who can struggle staying focused. Fortunately, the teacher knows this is true for most, if not all, kindergarten students, so she mixes things up. One of my personal favorites, or I mean, Pedro Tulo's favorites (fine it's my favorite) is the 1-minute shake break video she often plays when she knows that the kids need a change of pace.



I really need to do this play this video and jump and shake a few times a day myself. It's probably way more productive than checking out Twitter or Facebook!

Notes From Home: Volume 4

It’s time for another update of my life at home!

* The Moose (9) needed a haircut, so we attempted to give him one with some clippers we bought recently. It went poorly.

Fortunately, a neighbor was able to salvage his hair. It’s better but still not great.

I actually think the hairstyle is perfect if he was a member of Color Me Badd or EMF (you're unbelievable!) or some other musical group from the early 90s. While it will grow back, I have no idea what we're going to do with his hair in 4-6 weeks when it does grow back!

* We don’t have any type of a sleep schedule for the kids. In normal times during the school year, the two year old (Luigi) would go to sleep between 8:00 and 8:30 and we would wake him up around 6:30. He did not like waking up this early. He also got a 90-minute to 2-hour nap in the afternoon. Now, he goes to bed after 9:00 PM and wakes up around 9:00 AM. We don’t even try to give him a nap. Overall, he probably gets the same amount of sleep, but I’d rather that he went to sleep and wake up a little earlier. Meanwhile, I’m typing this at 10:38 PM on a Tuesday evening, and The Moose is still awake creating some kind of bank or something.

* Pedro Tulo (age 6) has started to notice the expiration dates on milk and other products. When seeing me wear a 2017 Penguins Stanley Cup Champions T-shirt recently, we had the following exchange.

Pedro Tulo: Your shirt is going to expire.
Me: I have shirts that are 20 years old. It will be fine.

* Since we’ve been home 24/7, I’ve noticed that Ziggy sleeps a lot. A lot a lot. He’ll be 12 this summer, so I know he’s getting older, but it just seems like he sleeps all the time.

(Apparently, this picture of Ziggy is brought to you by Intel.)

* The Moose is learning about Ancient Greece. While it seems like he’s interested in the portion about Olympics, he only seems moderately interested in any of the other parts. However, The Moose really enjoys trivia. He regularly asks me to ask him questions and wants to know how my team does when I play trivia with my friends. So I mentioned to him that there always seems to be questions about Ancient Greece and Greek gods. Sure enough, there was a category on Jeopardy! last week about Greek gods. Thank you Jeopardy!

* I mentioned this on a previous blog post, but the last time that I bought gas continues to be March 15th.

* Finally, sadly, a significant number of restaurants aren't going to recover from COVID-19 and being closed. Restaurants are a tough business even in good times, so it's not like the majority of them have huge amounts of cash reserves in case of an emergency. With that written, Chick-fil-a isn't going anywhere. The kids really like their food, so we went through the drive through for lunch as a treat for them. The line of cars was at least 30 deep. And it moved effectively and efficiently. Chick-fil-a is going to outlive us all!

For more of my "Notes From Home" during the COVID-19 crisis, please click here.

Even More Notes From Home

Why do I have to repeatedly ask my 6 year old (Pedro Tulo) to put on his underwear? You would think that once would be enough, but I end up repeating this request 4-5 (or more) times!

My 2 year old (Luigi) can now open the refrigerator on his own. What could possibly go wrong?

I definitely need to figure out the mask thing or get new masks. I’ve gone to the grocery store 2-3 times over the last few weeks, and I learned that I can't wear glasses with the mask because they fog up. The masks are also a little tight and uncomfortable around my ears. Oh, I can’t talk very well with them on either. I guess they work, but a little comfort would be nice.

Speaking of masks, Vice President Mike Pence visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota on Tuesday and walked around the hospital without a mask. A HOSPITAL! I don't consider myself a germaphobe, but whenever I'm in a hospital or doctor's office, I use sanitizer on my hands every two minutes. And that was before the coronavirus.

There seem to be a lot of conspiracy theories about everything out there, so I'm sharing one of my own. Mike Pence knows that he's never going to get elected president, but he wants the job. So he visits a hospital without a mask in the hopes of contracting the coronavirus. Pence probably feels that he's in good shape, has no other medical conditions and is surrounded by some of the best doctors in the world. He'll be fine. However, Pence passes on the coronavirus to an older and not-as-in-shape Donald Trump, who becomes extremely ill (so that he can't govern) or passes away. In either case, look who becomes president. Already in the position and with what is going to be a mess of an election in November (hello voter suppression!), Pence gets re-elected president. Again, there is a 0.0001% that this is true, but why not have fun with a conspiracy theory?

My brother is the king of class-action lawsuits. No, he’s not a lawyer like Jimmy McGill / Saul Goodman against Sandpiper on Better Call Saul. He just follows class action lawsuit websites and adds his name when it applies to him. He’s also forwarded several lawsuits to me over the years. They usually don’t amount to much, but I recently received a check for $72.04 from an airbag settlement. Woo!

Finally, I'm sharing this link from The Washington Post for when I look back at my time at home in 10-15 years. The online learning for my kids in elementary school has gone, um, poorly. Fortunately, this week (knock on wood...like every California redwood tree) has gone well.

Photo by PBS / YouTube.

More Notes From Home

My schedule is pretty crazy right now. During the day (meaning between 7:30 AM and 9:30 PM), I try to balance doing as much work as I can at home with being a parent to my three boys. It's tough. Pedro Tulo (6) and Luigi (2.5) are definitely not self-sufficient. While The Moose (9) can do more on his own, he can get distracted rather easily by his brothers and needs help keeping focused on any type of school assignments. In theory, I guess we could just let them sit in front of the TV or play on their tablets all day while we work, but that's not productive, and they would get restless. (I should note that there are some really good educational websites/apps out there and the kids can't just "work" all day, so some screen time is definitely fine...for them and everyone's sanity.) Plus, I want to be involved in helping my kids learn and play with them too. Basically, I want to make sure that the kids are happy and feel loved and supported.

So what happens is I end up doing a lot of work after the kids go to bed. I feel bad that I'm sending emails to my colleagues at midnight, but there's no such thing as working a traditional 9:00-5:00 right now. The problem is that I'm not getting enough sleep. Yes, I still fall asleep regularly on the couch working (and watching TV), but I find that I wake back up at 1:30 or 2:00 AM and then do a little more work. I never seem to be too far away from my laptop. Overall, I need to find a better balance. And get regular sleep!

Although my street isn't a traditional cul-de-sac, it's not a through street, so that's where the kids play. There are a few other families on our street, and we see them occasionally while making sure that the kids maintain a social distance from each other. There's a third-grader on the street over that can be annoying but is generally harmless. He seems to wander around, often on his bike, without any type of parental supervision. The other day, he came over to our street and wanted to talk/play with my kids. My wife asked him to keep six feet apart, and the kid responded by saying, "You're not the boss of me." While I appreciate the use of the "Malcolm in the Middle" theme song, my opinion of him has now changed from an annoyance to a brat. Even before everything started, I didn't really like my kids playing with him since he would want to (and sometimes did) ride their scooters even though he is way too big for them. Now, I definitely don't want him to play with them!



Our car lease was about to end, so we had to figure out what to do. Even though we're not going anywhere right now, we need two cars, particularly because the car that we had to turn in was the one we use when taking the entire family out. I definitely wasn't going to visit multiple dealership or take numerous test drives and this was before the stay-at-home order. So I researched everything online and called/emailed multiple dealerships in the area. We ended up leasing the same model vehicle, and I basically went to the dealership to drop off the old car and pick up the new one. The new car has barely moved.

On a related topic, the last time that we purchased gas was March 15th!

We run the dishwasher every day since the five of us use so many dishes, silverware, and cups. SO MANY DISHES!

Finally, our community fitness center has started doing a "kids recess" class. This was the three of them doing push-ups or planking or something. It's generally pretty cute.

Stay safe!