My Life At Home

I've thought about writing this post for several months now. I even started a draft in early October, but I never got around to finishing it. I just want to write a blog post about my life, and I guess this is it. Before I really get started, I know that I'm fortunate. My family has been healthy, and my wife and I are both employed. There are millions of others in our country that aren't as fortunate. Even though my office has been closed since March, I'm grateful that I'm able to work from home and that my organization is completely supportive of my crazy schedule.

And let's get to that schedule. My kids are in 4th grade, 1st grade, and preschool. They are all home 24/7. The older two boys have school Monday through Friday, and I need to make sure they are doing what they're supposed to be doing. They each click on multiple links during the day for various teachers and classes. I spend much of my day ensuring that they are focused on their learning, listening to their teachers, and completing their assignments. In the case of The Moose (the 4th grader), I find this to be particularly challenging. He's old enough where if he were in school, he would do his work in the classroom and submit it directly to his teacher. I would never see it. While I want him to make mistakes and learn from them without me reviewing his assignments, I also want to make sure his work is complete and that he didn't rush through it. It's a balance that we haven't adequately achieved. On top of all this I've become the IT support for the kids. And in charge of recess. And occasionally the cafeteria staff member.

Meanwhile I joked back in September just after the school year started that Luigi (the preschooler) would just fend for himself. He has all kinds of toys and games that he plays with, and I put him on the screen if I have a meeting or really need to get something done uninterrupted. I try to avoid giving him too much screen time during the day. There are plenty of times when I'm doing work, and he'll come up to me and say "Play me Daddy." While he's missing the word with, the point is clear. He wants me to play with him, and it's hard to say no to that. We probably should start him with potty training more than we do. The problem is that I just don't have time to take him to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes or so. I don't push it especially since he's not interested in potty training yet.

Based on what you just read, you can probably tell that I'm not getting nearly the amount of work done than I would if I was at my office without kids. Of course, I'm not commuting two hours a day either, so that helps. Still, I always feel like I'm behind. Because of this, I find that I do work most nights after the kids go to sleep. I often fall asleep on the couch doing work and wake up to do a little more work. I send emails out after midnight, though I've discovered the delay delivery option, so it looks like I send them out at a reasonable time. I also find that I try to get work done on weekends. I definitely don't get enough sleep.

I probably need a break, but what does that really look like? It's not like I'm going to go to the movie theater or take a road trip to see a Steelers game. A day off is just me with the family like every other day. That's probably why I have taken exactly one day off of work since March. And that day was for Yom Kippur. Actually, I would likely spend a day off taking Luigi to and from the bathroom all day.

So what do I do for down time? My friends and I still try to do trivia every few weeks. A group of friends from college have started having Zoom calls every month which has been a really nice way to reconnect. I also continue to do a minyan every day in memory of my dad. While it's nice to have some normalcy in this routine, there are definitely days where this seems like an obligation.

I'm not trying to be negative in this post. This is simply my life. I know that I'll look back once this pandemic ends and appreciate all of the time I'm spending with my kids. In the middle of this though, there are times when I could use a  break particularly since they are not at all independent right now. Maybe it would be worthwhile to talk to someone professionally about all of this, but I don't know if it's necessary. I also don't want to spend money for myself on a therapist. Instead, I try to blog while I can, and I've watched some really good TV shows lately. In addition, I'm enjoying trying to spread the tradition of eating and tasting pickles during Chanukah. (Please like my Pickles at Chanukah Facebook page!) I guess that's my release.

Photo by Elizabeth Dalziel.