My Application for The Real World

MTV’s The Real World is holding a casting call at Town Tavern DC this Saturday from 10-5. Although the requirements state that candidates must be between the ages of 20 and 24, I think that I would make the perfect candidate for MTV and The Real World's Casting Directors. Here are my qualifications:

• MTV has had significant success with the Teen Mom series. Therefore, MTV should want to incorporate more young children and their parents in their shows. A guy in his mid-30s with his kid (that’s me) and a group of 20-somethings would make fascinating television.

• To my knowledge, The Real World has never featured someone who regularly falls asleep on his couch between 9:30 and 10:00. I could be a trendsetter!

• Forget iPods. I can help return MTV to its roots by playing my Stone Temple Pilots, Dave Matthews Band and Rusted Root cassette tapes for my new roommates. Maybe I’ll bring my mix tapes to the casting call!



• Has The Real World ever featured a cat in the house? Ziggy would be a reality superstar and finally earn his keep.

• Even though I haven’t been to a club in over a decade, having the cameras follow me while I argue with my roommates about not going to the club could cause some drama. Watch an older guy complain that the club is too loud! I can’t wait to see the promos of that!

• Watching me watch Pittsburgh sporting events while Tweeting my thoughts about these events is ratings gold. I could be the new Timmy Beggy minus the getting arrested for open lewdness and losing my job as the Pittsburgh Pirates mascot.

• I could start the first ever fantasy football or baseball league in Real World history. A keeper league might be difficult to organize though so we’ll just use a straight draft.

MTV, I look forward to hearing from you (particularly since I can’t make the casting call due to fatherhood duties. This will just be like an episode of Teen Mom!).