Jenna Bush Wedding Plans

You probably heard the recent news that Jenna Bush got engaged to University of Virginia graduate student Henry Hager. For no apparent reason, I thought it would be fun to see how the wedding planning is going:

Laura Bush: For an event this big, we need a wedding planner who can coordinate so many aspects of the big day while making sure that this stays a private affair.

President George Bush: I know the perfect person, Karl Rove. Now that he’s resigned, I know he is looking for something to do. He is the architect, so he can put together a great wedding at a decent cost.

Jenna Bush: That’s fine as long as he doesn’t dance or try to rap at the reception.



Laura: I’ll talk to him, honey. We really need to discuss the guest list. Do we need to invite ALL of these world leaders?

George: Well, Tony Blair is a must. He was fantastic in The Simpsons episode a few years ago.

Laura: I agree, but since he’s not the Prime Minister anymore, do we also have to invite Gordon Brown?

George: Yeah, I guess so, but he’s not as much fun as Nicolas Sarkozy. I really had a great time with him in New Hampshire, and I can’t wait to ride our bikes together in France.

Jenna: He was so cute on the boat too.



Laura: Do we also need to invite Jacques Chirac? You did work together for over six years.

George: Let’s put him on the list for now, but if we need to make cuts later, he’s the first to go.

Jenna: Can we invite Colin Powell? He was always so nice to me.

George: Well, we haven’t talked in three years, so he’s a no for now. Rummy is a must, and so is Paul Wolfowitz, even though that World Bank gig didn’t really work out for him.

Jenna: We can’t invite Wolfowitz. He’s weird!

George: I’m the deciderer! Wolfowitz gets invited.

Laura: Jenna, we can put him in the table in the back corner. You won’t even see him.

Jenna: Fine. Daddy, to celebrate the engagement, Dick [Cheney] wants to take Henry out quail hunting. I don’t want Henry to go with him.

George: I’ll see what I can do. I wonder if we can get a government contract for Halliburton to arrange the flowers. That could solve the problem.


This discussion will probably continue for the next few months. I wonder if President Bush can get arrange for Jenna to get first dibs at Filene Basement’s Running of the Brides.