Being a New Father

After approximately nine months of waiting, our baby boy arrived about two weeks ago. It has been an exhilarating and exhausted experience. It has also been hard, and there is no way that we could have survived the past few weeks without our families. Naturally, like everything else that has occurred in my life the past 6+ years, I feel that it is important to share my notes and observations as a new father.

- On the first day in the hospital room, our child was an angel. He slept most of the day, and I don't think he cried once. Our friends and the nurses told us that this stage wouldn't last, but what did they, as veteran parents and medical professionals, know about our sweet, precious boy? Well, they were right. On what I believe was the third day, our child had moments when he turned into the kid from The Exorcist. The only thing missing was our child's ability to turn his head 360%.

- This may sound odd, but I love the way my son smells. I can't really describe it other than writing that he smells wonderful.

- Our son managed to urinate through his diaper (likely user error by his father) on to my Pittsburgh Penguins shirt. I'm hoping that he's marking his territory as a Pens fan. Otherwise, I will not be happy if he entered this world as a Philadelphia Flyers or Washington Capitals fan.

- Despite multiple requests, my idea of having this portrait of Modern Family's Cam and Mitchell painted in the baby's room was vetoed.



- While I knew that babies don't enter the world all clean like they do in the movies, I was unprepared for the dark blue/gray color of our child when he first appeared. He was fine, but I was momentarily freaked out.

- Our boy has the unique skill of always urinating as soon as you take off his diaper. I'm quite proud. On his back on the pediatrician office's scale, he managed to hit the door with his stream. Again, I'm very proud!

- I have said nipple more in the past two weeks than I have the rest of my life. Sadly, I no longer smile like an 8th grader when I say nipple. OK, I just smiled a little after writing nipple in the previous sentence.

- Meanwhile, I'm not impressed that our son seems to flash the University of Texas Hook 'em Horns sign. There are absolutely no Texas fans in the family.



- Whenever I see or hear the bus passing our home, I realize that I'm going to have to return to work soon. I'm both excited and dreading returning to the office.

- People keep telling me that I look tired. It's probably because I'm not sleeping much.

- I love the fact that the hospital encourages new parents to take stuff. Diapers - check. Wipes - okay. Blankets - sure.

- If it was solely my responsibility to clothe my child, he would wear only a diaper. I can't figure out how to get his feet and arms through his clothes especially since he squirms through the entire changing process.

- When our son cries and I'm the first to get to him, I believe that this is what he thinks:


(Underrated TV show)

There were countless times during the first few days of our son’s life when I questioned if I was ready to be a father. I panicked in the hospital when my baby spit up when I was in the process of cleaning his very messy diaper. Of course, he urinated in the middle of this too. I’ve started to settle into the father role, and while I’m still overwhelmed and tired, our kid is remarkable and really cute. Plus, everything that I’ve worried about so far has turned out to be completely normal. The past few weeks have both lasted forever and been a blur. So as we prepare for the 21st century, I am ready to accept the challenge.*


* This last sentence is a very inside joke that only one person will get. In college during the late 90s, I used some variation of “as we enter the 21st century” to begin the concluding paragraph for nearly every paper I wrote. It seemed to work well.