Cameo

There is a website called Cameo where you can pay for personalized messages by celebrities. This is an absolutely brilliant idea. The phrase "absolutely brilliant" should only be said in a British accent. Anyway, I've explored the website a little lately, and I can probably spend many more hours there. Here's what I found so far.

The first item I searched for was Pittsburgh Steelers. Naturally, Hall of Famers like Jerome Bettis ($300), Rod Woodson ($175), Dermontti Dawson ($100) were the most expensive. I feel like Arthur Moats ($25) and my new favorite player Zach Banner ($35) are bargains. I also believe that either Merril Hoge ($60) isn't charging enough or Xavier Grimble ($60) is charging too much. As a bit of a tangent, a few weeks ago, Steelers Depot posted this quote from Terry Bradshaw on Twitter, "The most money I ever made was $300,000. And back then you were paying fifty cents of that to the government, so add it up. Everything I had, I had to borrow money. I even mortgaged my NFL contract to buy a ranch and a tractor and a cutter to cut hay. Why did I mention this? Bradshaw is charging $500 for a Cameo!

You may remember the song "Say Hey I Love You" by Michael Franti and Spearhead from about a decade ago.



I'll admit that I only know Franti from this song, so I was surprised that a Cameo from him is $175 while one from Mya, who may be best known from batting lead-off in Lady Marmalade, but who also appeared in movies and Dancing With The Stars is $150.

Flavor Flav was a member of Public Enemy and starred in the reality television dating show Flavor of Love. When I first drafted this post, a Cameo from Flavor Flav was $350. Apparently, there is now a sale on getting a message from Flav as the price is $250.

Let's say that you want to get a message from a former world leader. Well, you're in luck! Just get a Cameo from former President of Mexico, Vicente Fox for $255. Want to get a message from a former state leader who served time in jail? You're in luck again! Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is on here for $80 (or slightly less than a Merril Hoge / Arthur Moats combo). By the way, if Donald Trump loses in November, I can easily see him charging $1000 per video, and if that happens, I hope someone has him say "person, woman, man, camera, TV" over and over again. (This statement makes more sense when you watch the amazing rambling that starts around the 2:30 mark of this video.)



Pittsburgh Pirates fans! I know there are still some of us out there. 2018 first round draft pick Travis Swaggerty could be a bargain at $15. Former Pirate Aramis Ramirez is definitely a bargain at $15. 2020 opening day starter Joe Musgrove is $50. Trevor Williams was $25 and Cole Tucker was $50, but they're now both temporarily unavailable. Maybe they're too busy with the start of the season. Actually, if Musgrove has a bad start on Friday, I'm blaming it on the fact that he's too busy being on Cameo and not spending enough time watching videos to prepare for the game!

Andrew McCutchen is on there for $150. I mention this for all of the Penguins fans out there. Cutch was an MVP for the Pirates. Alex Galchenyuk played a whopping 45 games for the Pens this season before getting traded in February to the Minnesota Wild for Jason Zucker. In his 8 NHL seasons, Galchenyuk has 108 goals and 147 assists. That's not bad, but Galchenyuk has never been an all star. I mention this because, although his Cameo is temporarily unavailable, it costs $180 to get one from him. There's no world where anything associated with Galchenyuk should be worth more than anything associated with McCutchen. He's just so cool.

Otherwise, the Penguins are vastly underrepresented on Cameo. George Laraque is available for $70, Frank Corrado who played 7 games for the Pens is there for $10, while penguins at the Philadelphia zoo is listed at $40. Sadly, it doesn't appear that the penguins actually talk much in the videos.



Finally, I noticed that there is a category for bloggers. And there are 768 bloggers listed! 768! This can't be correct since there are only about 100 active bloggers still writing. Maybe this is the way that I can finally make big money from my blog. How much would you pay for me to make a video wishing you a happy birthday or anniversary? I mean, I know that priceless is the likely answer, but how about $2000? Maybe $1000? I mean, the most money I ever made was $300,000 before taxes. I borrow money and even mortgaged my blogging contract to buy a ranch and a tractor and a cutter to cut hay, so I think I'll start asking for $500!

One more finally, finally. I can't have a post about Cameo without including this song.



Although this post was not sponsored by Cameo, I really wish that it was. Maybe the company will see this and let me send a message for free. I mean, it wouldn't be at the Terry Bradshaw or Flavor Flav level, but someone from Below Deck Mediterranean would be fine.

Go Habs Go

Before leaving for this year’s hockey road trip, I contacted the folks at the All Habs blog to learn more about Montreal and the Canadiens. To thank them for their suggestions, I agreed to write about my experiences and give my perspective of the Habs and the Bell Centre as someone visiting the arena for the first time. I’ll start by writing this: the Bell Centre has the greatest hockey atmosphere I have ever seen in person.

It starts when you first walk into the arena. Almost everyone wears a Canadiens jersey or T-shirt. When you enter the seating area, you are amazed by the dozens of banners commemorating the Stanley Cup titles and retired players.



This has to be intimating or perhaps inspiring for the Habs’ opponents. At the very least, it is significantly more impressive than the WBNA Attendance Leader banners hanging from the Verizon Center in Washington. The introduction prior to the game is terrific. About 15 minutes before the opening face-off, the scoreboard shows pictures of Canadian fans wearing jerseys or showing off a Habs towel or flag from all over the world such as the Great Wall in China and by the Sydney Opera House. Then, the scoreboard shows each individual player and some videos of Montreal greats. Of course, the crowd cheered for all of this with the loudest applause reserved for goalie Carey Price. Unfortunately, Price was injured and didn’t play in either of the two Montreal games I saw.

The Good:
- The crowd was loud and chanted Go Habs Go or the Olay, Olay, Olay, Olay song constantly throughout the game.
-Cool Zambonis



- The Canadiens are a fun team to watch. I forgot how great it is to see Alexei Kovalev with the puck.
- Robert Lang is such a solid player. He had two assists each in the two games I saw him play.
- Gregory Stewart – I don’t think he was even on the team in the first game. He brings a lot of energy and is someone that really stood out. I’d like him on my fourth line.
- Andrei Kostitsyn had goals in both games and could be on his way to becoming a superstar.
- Youppi



The Not So Good:
- There were way too many people and sections trying to start the wave. The wave was great 20 years ago; not so much today.
- Tomas Plekanec is useless. How is he on the first line with Kovalev?
- Tickets were far more expensive than those in Ottawa and Toronto.
- Georges Laraque was injured and didn’t play.
- From my seat in Section 334, Row FF, I couldn’t see anything in the lower corner to the left of the goalie.



The Other:
- I had recommendations to visit Le Keg in Old Montreal for dinner. While I didn’t eat there (we walked into the restaurant, but then had to move the car since we parked in a reserved area), we ate at Steak Frites instead. Great steak and service! By the way, Le Keg is a chain. It seems like it is the Canadian version of Outback or Lonestar.
- It was so freaking cold in Montreal! I’m never going there in January again!
- The Canadiens had a feature during a commercial break where they asked each player what they were secretly afraid of. Unfortunately, the players all answered in French so I’ll never know what scares Maxim Lapierre.
- I was expecting to hear Celine Dion and Nickelback during every stoppage of play. However, it turns out that they played a lot of music by other Canadian musicians like the Rolling Stones, U2, Linkin Park and Flo Rida.



By the way, attending a Maple Leafs game in Toronto was the exact opposite. More on that another time.

Play a Doctor on the Internet

I spent much of Monday night and Tuesday looking at my left eye and eyelid. When I arrived home Monday evening after a game of pick-up ultimate frisbee, my wife greeted me by saying, "What’s wrong with you eye?" My response: "Huh?" It turns out that my left eyelid was slightly red and a bit puffy. (I wonder if this would have happened if I went to trivia instead.)

Anyway, when I awoke Tuesday morning, it was even worse. My primary concern was whether or not I had pink eye. I actually considered taking pictures of my eye and asking for readers’ opinions, hence the title of this post. (In full disclosure, I did take pictures of my eye, but they did not come out well.) After searching WebMD and other online medical sites, I determined that I did not have pink eye since there was no itchiness, tearing or discharge. Therefore, my theory is that I either got a bug bite on my eyelid as there were lots of gnats around (not Ryan Zimmerman or Dmitri Young) during frisbee or it is a Brenden Stai, I mean, sty.

My eye is better today, so here are a few completely unrelated links for your day:

I wish Georges Laraque could have been at my Bar Mitzvah (via Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies). Of course, Laraque would have only been 12 at my Bar Mitzvah, so that may not have been as cool.

Two Ithaca College baseball players were drafted: Shane Wolf by the Houston Astros in the 26th round and Bryan Gardner in the 34th round by the Cincinnati Reds. I can certainly see them contributing to a Pirate loss someday.

Finally, the Pittsburgh Penguins resigned the Iceman!

Penguins-Flyers Storylines

Now that the Pittsburgh Penguins have defeated the New York Rangers, we can all focus on the Eastern conference final between the Pens and the Philadelphia Flyers. For those of you seeking storylines for the series, let me be of assistance of what you will hear from sportscasters and writers over the next week.

Pittsburgh and Philadelphia are both located in Pennsylvania, or some variation of this such as the battle of Pennsylvania or the Keystone State rivalry. Let’s face it: this is truly a battle between fans that choose pop versus fans who say soda.

In the Eastern conference semi-finals, Jordan Staal of the Penguins defeated his older brother Marc Staal of the Rangers. Jordan Staal has no siblings on the Flyers. (Or does he? [dramatic pause] No he does not.)

The Flyers’ R.J. Umberger is the Pittsburgh area. Specifically, Umberger is from Plum, which was on of the high schools that my high school faced regularly in sporting events (the last part will not be mentioned during any broadcasts).

Former Penguin Joe Mullen is now an assistant coach for the Flyers.

The last time the Penguins and Flyers met in the playoffs was the 1999-2000 season when the Flyers defeated Pittsburgh 4-2 in the conference semi-finals. The Penguins fourth leading playoff scorer during that post-season? Janne Laukkanen. (This useless piece of trivia will also not be discussed during any playoff coverage. In case you were wondering, Jagr led the Pens with 16 points in 11 playoff games followed by Martin Straka and Jan Hrdina with 12 points each.) Personally, I hope Versus or NBC shows footage of the epic 1989 series when the Flyers defeated the Penguins in seven games in the Patrick Division finals.

Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin are both young and very good.

The last name of Philadelphia’s Joffrey Lupul is a palindrome.

Riley Cote (202 penalty minutes during the regular season) and Georges Laraque (1,037 career penalty minutes) could fight. Of course, Laraque may be practicing more yoga lately as he amazingly has no penalty minutes so far this postseason.

Five words: What Would Gary Roberts Do?

(from The Pensblog)

Finally, Empty Netters has posted the Eastern conference finals schedule. Game one on Friday, May 9 in Pittsburgh.