Monday, March 03, 2008

Best Man Speech (Happy National Procrastination Week)

Did you know that this week (March 3-9, 2008) is National Procrastination Week? It is also Newspaper in Education Week (March 3-7) and National Sleep Awareness Week (March 3-9). Reading newspapers, being aware of sleep and actually sleeping more are all perfect ways to procrastinate. I know this from personal experience.

So my brother is getting married this weekend, and I have known that I am the best man for many, many months. With this much time to prepare, many people would have a brilliant speech prepared and rehearsed by now. I have nothing. In my search for ideas, I decided to write on my blog (another great way to procrastinate) and hope that folks have advice and suggestions about what to say.

In the meantime, I figure that I should share my one idea and try to get some feedback about it. I would love to start the speech by quoting “The Office” episode when Michael Scott speaks at Phyllis’ wedding. He said, “Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.” This line will likely bomb which would set me up perfectly to tell another joke that perhaps 1/3 of the room will get. Therefore, 2/3 will think that I bombed my first two lines and probably tune out or stand up and go straight to the bar. This may not be a good strategy on my part although I could probably come back with a zinger about the bar being open or something.

As you can tell I could use some help or suggestions. If you don’t feel like providing a comment or e-mailing me at seanramblings at yahoo[dot]com at this time, I understand. It is National Procrastination Week.

Update: The speech has been written and is posted here.


Anonymous said...

marriage. marriage is what brings us together today. marriage, that holy blessing, that dream within a dream....and then your brother will have to say, "skip to the end."- sorry, i got nothing.

if it's being video taped, i always say this cause it gets me laid, usually by the maid of honor, "true love cannot be found where it does not exist; nor can it be hidden where it truly does."

Anonymous said...

Wasn't your brother the one born in a toilet? That is a perfect way to start a best man speach.

Anonymous said...

I'm really surprised at you. Unfortunately, you learned how to procrastinate from me. My speech is ready. I even read it at work for practice

Sean said...

Excellent memory anonymous, if that is your real name! I thought about talking about his birth but I'm not sure his wedding is an appropriate place. I'm not sure if his wife's family and friends really need to know this on his special day. I thought about mentioning it subtlety which is what I was referring to above. After the first joke bombed, my idea was to say that the joke went right in the toilet, just like how some people start their life (or something like that). Of course, most people won't get it.

Anonymous said...

Born in the toilet?!?! I would really like to hear that story.