Thursday, June 12, 2008

Greg Lloyd Will Watch the Steelers-Browns Game at Your House

As part of the DC Steeler Nation listserv, I received an e-mail on Wednesday with the following offer, which is currently listed on eBay:

THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE THAT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET!!! GREG LLOYD WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE TO WATCH THE STEELERS DESTROY THE BROWNS SEPTEMBER 14TH 2008!!! PLEASE READ ALL THE DETAILS BELOW OR CALL US AT 864-517-7799 WITH ANY QUESTIONS.



WHERE AT: YOUR HOUSE ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES. IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT STATE YOUR IN JUST AS LONG AS ITS IN THE UNITED STATES. THEY DONT CALL IT "STEELER NATION" FOR NO REASON! WE ARE EVERYWHERE!! HERE WE GO STEELERS HERE WE GO!!

Does that mean that Toronto or Montreal is out even though they are much closer to where Lloyd lives (I believe near Atlanta according to a recent PSAMP post) then say Walla Walla, Washington?

WHEN: 8:15 PM KICKOFF STEELERS VS BROWNS SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Please stop with the CAPS!

DETAILS:

GREG LLOYD WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE TO WATCH THE ENTIRE GAME WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS. ITS A SIMPLE AS THAT. WE MAKE ALL THE ARRANGMENTS FOR GREG TO ARRIVE IN YOUR CITY AND TO YOUR HOUSE. JUST LIKE THE DIRECT TV NFL SUNDAY SEASON TICKET COMMERICAL WITH PEYTON MANNING SHOWING UP IN SOME GUYS LIVING ROOM, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN FOR YOU.IT WOULD MAKE A GREAT GIFT IDEA FOR YOUR HUSBAND, KIDS OR A CLOSE FRIEND. WANNA IMPRESS YOUR BOSS?? INVITE HIM OVER TOO?

Yes, just like Peyton Manning on the commercial.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: SO WHAT IS INCLUDED IN THIS WHOLE DEAL??

A: GREG LLOYD WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE FOR THE GAME. HE WILL BE THERE BY KICKOFF AND LEAVE WHEN THE GAME IS OVER.YOU WILL ALSO RECIVE A GREG LLOYD FAN PACKAGE THAT WILL INCLUDE A AUTHENTIC JERSEY, 2 16x20 PHOTOS, 2 8x10 PHOTOS AND A MINI HELMET ALL SIGNED BY YOURS TRULEY GREG LLOYD.

I have never claimed to be a master of the English language, but it’s OK to use spell-check. Recive? Truley?

Q: HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN I INVITE? IS THERE A LIMIT?

A:YOU MAY HAVE UP TO 25 PEOPLE THERE.THE LESS AMOUNT OF PEOPLE YOU HAVE THERE THE BETTER FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU WILL GET A BETTER EXPERIENCE WITH A SMALLER AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THERE.YOU ONLY WANT TO INVITE YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS AND DONT WANT TO RISK SOME STRANGER MESSING UP THIS WHOLE THING. GREG LOVES TO TALK AND WHO ELSE HAS BETTER "WAR" STORIES THEN GREG WHEN IT COMES TO STEELERS FOOTBALL AND THE STEELERS BROWNS RIVALY

James Harrison may have better stories about the time he tackled the Browns fan. Bill Cowher and Joey Porter probably have some good tales too.



Q: WILL GREG BE BRINGING ANYBODY WITH HIM?

A: YES GREG WILL HAVE ONE OR 2 PEOPLE WITH HIM

Any chance he’ll bring fellow linebacker Jerry Olsavsky. What’s Joel Steed up to these days? Does he accompany Greg on these visits?

Q: WILL YOU BE SUPPLYING FOOD FOR THIS OR BEVERAGES?

A: NO THAT IS YOUR CHOICE IF YOU WANT FOOD, SNACKS ETC YOU WILL NEED TO SUPPLY THAT YOURSELF.

If you want food? You better have food if you’re going to have a party of 25 people plus Greg Lloyd and possibly Jerry Olsavsky and/or Joel Steed.

Q: ARE WE ALLOWED TO DRINK ALCOHOL?

A: YES HOWEVER WE ASK THIS IF YOU DO DRINK ADULT BEVERAGES THAT EVERYONE THERE STAYS SOBBER. WE WILL NOT TOLERATE DRUNKEN BEHAVIOR.THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE YOU BRING AT A LIMITED AMOUNT AND DO NOT ALLOW FRIENDS TO BRING FRIENDS ETC ETC. IF GREG LLOYD FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE AT ANY TIME HE MAY GET UP AND LEAVE AND THERE WILL BE NO REFUNDS GIVEN.WE SIMPLY ASK THAT YOU BEEN RESPECTFUL AT ALL TIMES.

C’mon Greg. If Ben Roethlisberger came to the party, there would definitely be many adult beverages.



Q: I WANT TO DO THIS IN A SUPRISE WAY FOR A GIFT TO MY HUSBAND, KIDS, FRIEND ETC. CAN YOU MAKE THIS A SUPRISE OR SOME TYPE OF SPECIAL REQUEST

A: SURE WE CAN. YOU WANT US TO SNEAK HIM IN THE BACK DOOR? HAVE HIM RING YOUR DOORBELL AND YOUR HUSBAND GO TO THE DOOR HAVING NO CLUE GREG IS COMING? WE CAN HANDLE ALL THE LITTLE DETAILS TO MAKE THIS A TRUE ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE

This is my favorite part. To quote Jon on of the DC Steeler Nation:

Husband: "Honey, there's a very large man outside on our patio that looks like he could rip our hearts out and feed them to his children."

Wife: "It's ok dear, I won him in an online auction."

You can “Buy It Now” to have Greg Lloyd sit on your couch for the low price of $10,000. Otherwise, make your best offer. The auction expires in 28 days, so get your bid in quickly!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Google "Greg Lloyd Jr." and take a look at his lovely upbringing skills. His son is playing at UConn and wants nothing to do with his dad.

Considering the whole "held a gun to his head as a child" thing, I agree with him.

Anonymous said...

Even though there's a picture of former Steeler Greg Lloyd on the auction page, the whole idea of this seems so out of left field that the winning bidder might want to make sure that's really the guy who's going to show up at his or her house.

They probably wouldn't want to end up like George Costanza with John Voight's car.

PennStJeff said...

This also better be for charity. If its a cash grab from some beat old NFL player who didnt know how to manage his finances when things were good, then too bad for him. You would be an idiot to spend thousands to have some washed up old ex nfler sit on your couch, eat your food, and watch on your tv so that he can keep making a mortgage payment he probably cant afford anymore cause he spent all his loot on building up a 1000 game playstation library and a hot tub in every room of his house. No thanks.

Johanna said...

HA! I think this is super funny. Of course, the gun-to-the-son's-head thing dampens that a little, if it's true.

Anonymous said...

The poor grammar and horrendous spelling?

Yes, that's about what I'd expect from a Steeler fan.

Go Browns.

Brian Stern said...

I put together something similar, watch the 500m backstroke with me during the Beijing games. The winner was a 76 year old from East Pittsburgh. She supposedly followed my career very closely.

Anonymous said...

this is a legit event.
winning bidder will recive a signed contract that greg will appear

josh korb
steel-town memorabilia president

Wendy R. said...

LOL, crazy.

I was at the Steelers-Browns game when the idiot Browns fan ran onto the field. Hilarious.

(Also, I almost sacked some random Browns fan when she thought it would be cute to try to snatch my Terrible Towel out of my hand. I ran her down and got it back. Ha!)