My Unauthorized Grammys Post

I previously mentioned that I applied for virtual media credentials for the Grammy Awards. My application was denied. So instead of reading quotes or watching videos from my interactions (or more likely other people's interactions) with the winners and nominees, you're going to get my thoughts and observations of Sunday's ceremonies.

I would like to know the ticket protocol for Grammy nominees. My assumption is that each nominee gets to bring a +1. There’s probably also some type of fine print that children under a certain age are not permitted. In looking at the audience, Beyoncé brought her husband Jay-Z and their oldest child. Alicia Keys brought her husband Swizz Beatz and their two kids. Shakira brought her two sons. Of course, the people I just mentioned are some of the most famous people on this planet. Mark Guiliana got nominated for Best Contemporary Instrumental Album. Mark is obviously an extremely talented musician, but I know nothing about him or his personal life. I randomly picked his name for this hypothetical. Let's say that Mark has a significant other and a 5 year old daughter. Could he have brought them both? Only his partner? This is something I might have learned with media credentials!

Okay, let’s get to the show and the awards.

I feel like Chappell Roan puts on heavy make-up going for a David Bowie look. That's a good thing. There should be more David Bowies in this world.

The Rolling Stones won for Best Rock Album. This Grammy is exactly what the band needs to kick off their career. I see big things in their future!

Before or after a commercial break, comedian Jim Gaffigan had the microphone and said something about Trevor Noah getting traded to the Dallas Mavericks. This was a safe and timely joke about a blockbuster NBA trade. I actually thought he might go with a foreigner taking a job or something about immigration that would have been much more risky.

Anthony Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Peppers has to dye his hair and facial hair, right? Dude is 62 with no gray whatsoever.

Sabrina Carpenter sang Espresso and seems like she has a really good sense of humor based on the vaudeville-style performance. Espresso is a really fun song too, though she also included a portion of her song Please, Please, Please which is a huge step down in my opinion.

To paraphrase Shaq, while I knew the name Doechii, I need to apologize for not being familiar with her work. 

Best performance of the night. I had trouble posting the entire performance, but here's a link in case you missed it or want to see it again. Entertainment Tonight only shows a small part of it.

Since many of my posts have Pittsburgh references, congratulations to the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra on winning the Grammy for the Best Engineered Album, Classical.

Since many of my posts have Ithaca College references, congratulations to 1979 Ithaca College alumnus Elaine Martone on winning the Grammy for Producer of the Year, Classical.

While I don’t think Jelly Roll was in attendance, I hope that he, Post Malone, and Teddy Swims are on a text chain where they just discuss facial tattoos.

Buzz Aldrin was in a Verizon commercial that aired early during the show. A reminder that Buzz Aldrin is the perfect person to be in a commercial during a music awards ceremony.

I enjoyed that Best New Artist medley though I admit that I was surprised that Kajagoogoo was nominated in this category. "Too Shy" must be 30 years old. (Since I probably won't understand this reference when I look at this post next year, Khruangbin earned a Best New Artist nomination. I know more Kajagoogoo songs, and I already named it.)

Are we done with Benson Boone yet? He just comes off as whiny in Beautiful Things. I guess he could make a decent living being a Paul Skenes impersonator.

Overall, I liked the show. I think there was a nice balance of celebrating the music industry while acknowledging and supporting Los Angeles after the devastating wildfires. I'm glad that Beyonce finally won Album of the Year, and Kendrick Lamar's Not Like Us was unavoidable and a massive hit.

Looking forward to covering the event next year!

Chappell Roan photo by Kevin Winter/Getty; RHCP picture from Instagram's RedHotChiliPeppersClubMexico page; Benson Boone photo by Gilbert Flores/Billboard via Getty.

Sean's 2017 Grammy Awards Recap

I promised that I wasn't going to write about the Grammys this year. I just didn't have the time. Then I started watching the ceremony, and this happened:

* Ed Sheeran performed his new song. The Weeknd performed his new song. Beyoncé had a new song(?)/spoken word performance that has never been seen before. Meanwhile, Adele opened the show by performing Hello, a song that has been out for well over a year.

* Do the Daft Punk guys ever get tired of wearing this outfit?

At some point, you'd think they would want to come out on stage wearing a T-shirt and jeans and maybe a Sia wig.

* I've head The Weeknd's new song on the radio a few times and really thought it was a new Michael Jackson song that was recorded before his death and only released now.

* If you were going up against David Bowie in any category, you knew you were going to lose, right?

* It's a good thing that Chance The Rapper has had a successful music career. It would be odd for him to answer phone calls and reply to e-mails as Chance The Rapper if he worked as an accountant or plumber. Of course, in that case, maybe he would change his name to Chance The Accountant or Chance The Plumber.

* 21 Pilots said that they watched the Grammys several years ago and pledged that they would accept a Grammy award in their underwear if they ever won. Is it common for groups of teenage/millennial males to sit around watching television in their underwear?

* My next door neighbor in college played Award Tour by A Tribe Called Quest all the time. It was great to hear the song (well part of the song) performed live.

* John Legend and Chrissy Teigen must have an amazing babysitter. They regularly appear at award shows and functions, and I doubt the baby travels with them.

* Meanwhile, apparently Jay-Z and Beyoncé couldn't find a babysitter on Sunday, so they just brought their daughter Blue Ivy to the Grammys. Personally, I would have loved for there have been a separate TV station simply showing Jay-Z and Blue Ivy (and Beyoncé though she was on stage or backstage for a significant part of the show). For example, let's see if Blue Ivy has a meltdown when she discovers that Jay-Z forgot to pack an applesauce. Or, what is Jay-Z's reaction when the kid asks for Goldfish but then decides that it's more fun to throw them instead of eat the snack? Are random people coming up to Blue Ivy telling her that she's cute? Jay-Z probably doesn't want random people coming up to his daughter.

* James Brown was known as the Hardest Working Man in Show Business. Someone needs to give Lady Gaga the Hardest Working Woman in Show Business title. After an impressive Super Bowl halftime show where she ran all over the stage, she had less than a week to prepare for a Grammy performance with Metallica.

* Compare that to the Carpool Karaoke bit. John Legend and Faith Hill clearly didn't know the words to Sweet Caroline. Practice for 10 minutes, particularly when you know you're going to sing with Neil Diamond!



And with that, goodbye from the other side.

I Am a Terrible Father

The first few days after my child was born last year were a blur. I barely slept and constantly worried about how frequently he should eat and if he was getting enough food. I must have tried bundling my child in a blanket hundreds of times and changing diapers was a brand new experience. I think the only time I left the hospital was to run home to feed Ziggy.

I clearly failed as a father, though, since I didn’t release a song produced by Pharrell only days after my child’s birth and include my baby in the song. I hope my child will forgive me. Perhaps writing a blog post about being a new father will be a consolation.

I also apologize to my child for not naming him after a color or a Roman numeral/plant. I should have named him Red Cactus or Black Velvet* or something.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, click here for more information and to hear the song.

* Even if you don’t know the lyrics, I’m sure that this song will now be stuck in your head. You’re welcome!

Sunday Notes

Between the Grammy Awards and the Penguins and Pitt games, Sunday was a good television day. Here are my notes from yesterday:

- Can the Penguins and Pitt play every Sunday until April? This will help get over the lack of Sunday football games.

- Actually, after watching Pitt lose to both Seton Hall and South Florida, perhaps we’ll just stick with the Penguins playing on Sunday afternoon.

- There were not one, but two television commercials during the Penguins-Red Wings game featuring racecar driver Danica Patrick. Does she have a big following among hockey fans that I am unaware of?

- "Have you heard about McDonalds new $1 menu at breakfast?" Has this sentence every actually worked as a pick-up line?

- Sidney Crosby’s 2nd period and shoot-out goals were sweet.

- South Florida’s Dominique Jones is the best college basketball player you’ve never heard of. I may also be the best college basketball player you’re heard of.

- The Grammys were kind enough to let us vote for one of three Bon Jovi songs for the band to perform. I think there should have been a write-in vote to have them cover a Barry Manilow tune.

- I think I liked Beyonce covering Alanis’ You Oughta Know.

- Pink is a professional. How else can you explain her singing while twirling round and round while wet.

- Speaking of the Pink performance, are the Grammy Awards now like Sea World where the first three rows are the splash zone?

- When did Lady Antebellum get big? I saw them perform during halftime of a Steelers game a few years ago.

- Ke$ha and Justin Bieber are available to present at Bar Mitzvahs, corporate events, and weddings!



- Is Kanye banned from all award shows? He should have been on stage for actually winning for Run This Town with Jay-Z and Rihanna.

This was about the time that I went to sleep.

Neil Diamond, the Washington Wizards and More

I hate writing this since I’m such a big fan, but I think Neil Diamond somewhat mailed in his performance at the Grammy Awards on Sunday night. Considering that he’s performed Sweet Caroline thousands of times, I guess he deserves a pass.

The one interesting part of Neil’s performance was the reaction of Paul McCartney. He was really, really into it.

On the Friday before the Grammy Awards, MusiCares, a charity founded by The Recording Academy, honored Neil Diamond as the 2009 Person of the Year. For only $75,000, you could have a Diamond Sponsorship (I don’t think the name is related to the singer) with three Diamond tables (36 seats), a 4-color page in the Tribute Journal (whatever that is) and recognition on the dinner invitation. While I guess this was a tax write-off and included dinner and performances by Adele, Coldplay, Foo Fighters, Josh Groban, Jennifer Hudson and Tim McGraw, $75,000 seems like a lot of money. Actually, if you split the cost 36 ways, it’s only $2083.33. That seems much more reasonable.

I watched a nice romantic comedy on TBS or TNT (I always get the two mixed-up) called Braveheart. Good movie!

At 33, I don’t consider myself old but I am older than every player on the Washington Wizards roster.

The Wizards program includes a feature that asks the players the first concert they attended. In most cases, the answer was Jay-Z or Beyonce. For Darius Songaila, the answer was Train. I just thought you would like to know this.

Look for Trivia Tuesday later today. In addition, if you haven't already, please take the extremely important poll on the top right of this page.

Neil Diamond Concert Review: A Strange Craigslist Experience

There’s some type of saying involving a journey and destination. That the journey is more important or something. I’m not exactly sure. Anyway, here’s a story about both.

Earlier this week, I pleaded with anyone out there to give me free or reduced tickets for Neil Diamond’s DC concert. Shockingly, there was no response. However, my wife decided that it would be her mission to try to find me tickets. Enter Craigslist. After several inquiries, she arranged to purchase tickets through someone named Adam. (This is not his real name; actually, it is his real name). Although the face value of the two tickets was $85 each (not including the almost $15 each in Ticketmaster fees), we reached an agreement on Monday evening to buy them for $50 each.

This is where things get strange. On Tuesday morning, Adam sent an e-mail to my wife stating that he received a bid for the tickets for $56 each and wanted us to go higher. He also offered us an alternative: we could get tickets for different seats for free. Adam wrote, "The only catch to it you have to get me messy. Saturday or Sunday and you pick a location." This is/was extremely disturbing. Was this something sexual or illegal? Four minutes later, he wrote my wife again. "Ignore the messy part but you have to toilet paper my house if you want the J tickets it is free this mean tickets are free. If you are going to do it." It was at this time that I decided to call Adam to let him know that we already made an agreement for Row G tickets for $100. I had no idea what I would say about toilet papering his house, but figured that I wouldn’t say anything if he didn’t say anything. Fortunately, I got his voicemail and left a message.

About 20 minutes later, Adam e-mailed my wife apologizing for the confusion and confirming the $100, row G seats. Adam and I actually talked around lunch, and although he wanted me to meet him outside of Will Call around 5:00 (since he works down there he said), we decided to meet at 7:00. My wife sent me an e-mail with only three words: Was he normal? I replied that he sounded a little odd but that we had a deal.

Fast-forward to around 7:00. I called Adam to let him know that I was on the Metro and would be a few minutes late. He then proceeded to call almost every two minutes asking for a status report. I finally approached Will Call having no idea what to expect. In my mind, I was prepared to punch him if he tried to raise the price. Plus I was curious what kind of person wants someone he doesn’t know to get him messy or toilet paper his house. As I arrived, I called Adam to see where/who he was. After 20 seconds, I found him. Adam is a kid. He couldn’t have been older than 13 and his parents were standing right behind him. Why was he odd on the phone and in e-mails? Because he’s a kid. I still don’t understand the toilet paper thing, and I wasn’t going to ask. A few questions did pop into my mind. Why is a 13 year-old selling tickets on Craigslist? What kind of job does he have since he’s clearly under 16? Regardless, the fact that he was a kid, was probably using the cash to supplement his Bar Mitzvah money and was with his parents alleviated my concerns.

As for the concert itself, I enjoyed it. It was vintage Neil Diamond. There were no pyrotechnics; just Neil and a 14-piece band. The Washington Times has a full review of the show, but here are a few notes:

- When The Washington Times writes in its review, "Good as they were - and they were superb - the new songs met with only polite applause; the audience really was there for the favorites," they are being nice. Since there was no intermission, many people used the new songs for a bathroom break.

- Cherry, Cherry, Cracklin’ Rosie, Forever in Blue Jeans and, of course, Sweet Caroline were the highlights of the show.

- I wish I could pull off wearing the shirts that Neil wears.

- You Don’t Bring Me Flowers was a show-stopper and not in a good way. I believe Neil performed this immediately after Sweet Caroline when the crowd was at its loudest. The place got quiet quickly. The only way to make Flowers good would have been to have Barbara Streisand come out or for Neil to have said, "Ladies and Gentlemen: Avril Lavigne" or "Beyonce" or "Alanis Morissette." Instead, it was one of the back-up singers who Neil is probably sleeping with.

- After over 40 years in the music industry, Neil Diamond still has an amazing voice.

- Neil also has an extremely deep catalog. Even by performing many of his biggest hits, he did not sing Red, Red Wine, Heartlight, or Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon.

Overall, great show! If you don’t believe me, check out these blogs: Come on Elleen, Life and times of Me and Angelica of Shifting Winds


Update: The Washington Post also has a review of the concert.


Photo by Katie Falkenberg/Washington Times

Kosher for Passover Sunscreen

It’s fun to see how people find Sean’s Ramblings through Google and Yahoo searches. While I receive dozens of hits from folks seeking information about plans for Jenna Bush’s wedding or Spider Pig lyrics, here are a few "interesting" referrals:

all sunscreens kosher for Passover
Are there non-Kosher for Passover sunscreens? Seriously, how could sunscreen not be Kosher for Passover since you’re not eating it (I hope!)?

John Cangelosi marry Beyonce
Can you imagine the headlines on People or Page Six if this actually happened? I’m guessing that only four people who read this actually know who John Cangelosi is.

Why was Ithaca College upset with Barry Manilow
There are just too many reasons.

bestman speech/bestman speeches/bestman speeches for free
There must be a lot of speeches out there if a Bestman ever gets married. Are there specific speeches for someone with the last name of Besterman or Betterman (as in Pearl Jam’s song)?

Do you love me Sean?
Depends who’s asking.

We invited Jason to the wedding but he was a no show.
I hope that it wasn’t this Jason.

dreadlock hair celebration expo
This is an expo in which I’ll never be invited. (Tear)

Pictures of Edgar Snyder
Here’s one for you. Enjoy!



Finally, enjoy a nice Happy Passover message from the Matzah Man/Men.

Live Grammy Awards Journal

Welcome to my live coverage (from my couch) of the 50th Grammy Awards. I will be writing about the Grammys throughout the evening or until I get bored or tired. Kanye West leads all artists with eight nominations and I expect him to get a few wins tonight. The big story of the evening will probably be Amy Winehouse, who has six nominations, but will not be in attendance since she was denied a visa.

This is usually about the time when I make predictions, but I really have no idea who will win. Seriously, who do you think will win Record of the Year between Beyonce (Irreplaceable); Foo Fighters (The Pretender); Justin Timberlake (What Goes Around…Comes Around); Amy Winehouse (Rehab); and Rihanna featuring Jay-Z (Umbrella)? You can probably make a case for any of these five. Actually, the bigger question is who does Jay-Z support for this award: himself or his girlfriend (they’re not married yet?) Beyonce?

In case you were wondering, Barack Obama has already won a Grammy today for the Best Spoken Word Album category. Obama defeated Maya Angelou, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter and Alan Alda. No offense to Alan Alda, who has won several Emmys and been nominated for an Oscar, but he really didn’t have a chance.

I’ll be back with updates later, but in the meantime, I leave you with this. 18-year-old Taylor Swift is up for Best New Artist. Swift may be best known for her single, "Teardrops on My Guitar," which features the line, "The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star." Wishing on a wishing star? Who would use wishing, or a variation of wish or wishing, twice in the same sentence? The great Terence Trent Darby would never do such a thing.
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- I have to applaud CBS and the Grammys for a great get to open the show. I don’t know how they convinced Frank Sinatra to come out of, um, retirement, to perform.

- Alicia Keys had a nice little duet with Sinatra and then came out to welcome the crowd. Does the Grammys not have a host? Was Ellen DeGeneres not available? (I’m anti-Ellen at the moment. I stayed home from work on Thursday because I was sick and caught the beginning of her show. She opened by dancing around the audience, taking people’s purses along the way. Then, she went through people’s purses making fun of the contents. I decided right then that no matter how sick I felt Friday morning, I was going to work.)

- Before I forget, how many commercials do you think we’ll see tonight for the latest edition of Big Brother? I’ll guess at least three.

- Carrie Underwood had a nice performance of “Before He Cheats” with the people from Stomp (I think). She dedicated the song to Tony Romo. (This is completely untrue, but why not start a rumor.)

- Prince presented the Best Female R&B Vocal Performance. Prince is probably 50 by now, but he’s still cool and always will be. The winner: Alicia Keys, who looks very good tonight. However, I hope that this doesn’t start a trend of an artist performing and then winning the award while being on the side of the stage.

- Next performance, The Time, but part-way through the performance, out comes Rihanna. I really like "Please Don’t Stop the Music," but can do without "Umbrella." Now it’s The Time and Rihanna together. I never would have predicted that combination.

- Tom Hanks presents a lifetime Grammy Award to The Band. I put them at #12 in my list of the Top 25 greatest Canadian musicians (4/5 of the band is from Canada). Then, he quickly segues into this little band called The Beatles and Cirque de Soleil performs part of its show “Love.” It’s Tom Hanks! You didn’t expect him to introduce Plain White T’s, did you?

- I didn’t mention this before, but as always, feel free to share your own comments below. In addition, you can see who has already won awards at Grammy.com. It looks like very few awards are actually going to be presented on the air.
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- An actual award! Cyndi Lauper and Mylie Cyrus present the Best New Artist. Lauper gushes all over Cyrus saying something about Cyrus lassoing the moon and that we’ll see her in this category next year. In a surprise (not at all), Amy Winehouse wins.

- I’m going to pretend that the Jason Bateman thing didn’t happen. He looked a bit out of place.

- Back to performances. Kanye West was terrific with “Stronger” featuring Daft Punk and then received a standing ovation for “Hey Mama.” Fergie then sings her song “Finally” with John Legend.

- It’s only 9:00pm Eastern time, and I’m already tiring. If you’re looking for other TV options, a new episode of Rock of Love 2 is airing on VH1, Family Guy is on Fox (not sure if it’s new or not), and we’re part-way through Office Space on Comedy Central.
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- It’s Beyonce; then Tina Turner; then both of them together for “Proud Mary.” I have nothing witty to write except that seeing Turner perform reminds me of the New York Post’s (I believe) headline from a few months ago: “Ike Beats Tina to Death.” Keep on dancing Tina! Another standing ovation.

- Andy Williams? I’m amazed that the Grammys were able to get both him and Sinatra since they both, you know, are no longer with us. Oh wait, Andy Williams is really there with Nelly Furtado and someone else. I’m a terrible person for even writing this paragraph.

- Another Amy Winehouse win for Song of the Year. Everyone keeps mentioning that Winehouse will be around later performing live via satellite from London. It’s going to be after 2:00am in London by the time she performs. I hope she’s not taking Vivarin or something illegal to keep herself awake.

- Jason Bateman is again awkward introducing the Grammy moment winner. Fortunately, Foo Fighters are there with an excellent performance of “The Pretender” with the Grammy moment winner, an orchestra and John Paul Jones to bail him out.

- I don’t think Kristy Jo is going to make it through the end of tonight’s Rock of Love 2. She has been one of my favorites, but she’s having a rough time.
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- Kanye West wins Best Rap Album and says that if he doesn’t win Best Album, Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson (the producer) should win. In an unprecedented award show moment, he also gets the telecast to stop playing the music they play to get an artist off the stage to say something about his mother.

- Ludacris introduces Aretha Franklin as the Queen of Soul. When Beyonce introduced Tina Turner earlier tonight, she called her “The Queen.” No offense to Tina Turner (I’ve written this way too many times tonight), who I think is an amazing artist, but Aretha is the queen.

- Kristy Jo is staying since another girl decided to go; however, it turns out that the other girl was going to be sent home anyway. Why do I watch this crap?

- Back to the Grammys, another Canadian, Feist, is on stage. It may be too soon to add her to the list of top Canadian performers, but she at least gets an honorable mention.

- I am getting sleepy.

- Kid Rock and Keely Smith sing together? That’s even more random than The Time and Rihanna. They then present the Best Rock Album to Foo Fighters. I’m pretty sure that Dave Grohl kissed Keely Smith on the lips.
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- Alicia Keys is not the queen. Stevie Wonder calls her incomparable. By the way, how many times is Keys going to perform tonight? Is this like a few years ago when Justin Timberlake seemed to be on stage for the entire show? Is Timberlake even there tonight?

- Ringo Starr and Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics come out to say that “my country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute.” Actually, Ringo says that he likes country music. Vince Gill wins something, makes a joke that involves Kanye (I missed it) and gets a laugh from the crowd and Kanye.

- I zoned out for a few minutes, but Rihanna won something, and now Cuba Gooding Jr. is live in London to introduce Amy Winehouse.

- Amy Winehouse performs and then wins Record of the Year. She thanked a few people, including her parents, but not her husband. Is he still in jail?

I'm done. Congratulations and thank you to everyone who made it this far!

Update 2/11 @ 7:00am: Here's a recap of the Grammys from Yahoo. Apparently, Winehouse did thank her jailed husband, but I missed it.

New Referrals

Inspired by Morag, these are real searches (usually from Google) that real people used to find and visit this place. In cases where I am ranked first in Google searches, you will see “#1.”

will it rain tomorrow at sandcastle water park in Pittsburgh (#1)
When did I become Joe DeNardo?

if beyonce married roy castle
I don’t know this Roy Castle fellow, but Jay-Z would not be too happy if this happened. Would her married name be Beyonce Castle?

kathy griffith in thong (#1)
This is really disturbing. Not only that someone is searching the web for this, but that I am ranked first in Google. To quote a Grey’s Anatomy phrase: seriously?

a guy named alphabet soup from Baltimore
There’s really a guy from Baltimore named alphabet soup?

Lionel Andrés Messi jew (#1)
It would be awesome if Messi really is Jewish. We need to have more superstar Jewish athletes.

willis mcgahee cab driver (#1)
I know the football off-season can be long, but I don’t think McGahee needs to work as a cab driver to make ends meet.

secret seans for harry potter 5
It’s been a few years since I read the fifth Harry Potter (I’m currently re-reading #4 and will probably see the movie for #5 and re-read #6), but I don’t remember any secret Seans.

Does Cal Ripken Jr work for Jerry Springer
No.

how to be a good beer man
Learn from the best. Go to RFK stadium, and find the guy I wrote about here.

evgeni malkin getting married in france
Evgeni didn’t invite me?

backstreet boys on 4 guys on october 31 2008
Um, Happy Halloween, I guess.

places like chukky cheese you can take kids to in houston texas in America
Well, if you’re in Houston, you could go to Chuck E. Cheese or take the NASA tour.

trai essex wedding
Trai didn’t invite me?

Where to get beer at rfk
Try the concession stand or look for the greatest beer man of all time.

im not internationally known but I am known to rock the microphone
I say this to myself everyday!

Final Oscar Notes

* With the wins by Helen Mirren, Martin Scorsese and "The Departed," I ended up going 6.5 out of 9 in my predictions. Not too shabby.

* I went to sleep just after the Dreamgirls performance of its three nominated songs. I'm sure that I was not the only person who was waiting for Beyoncé to sing, "To the left, to the left."