Soccer Referee Story

I don’t usually write about my soccer referee experiences. I’ve worked hundreds of games since becoming certified in 1990 (that’s not a typo), and my games aren’t usually worthy of sharing. I’m making a slight exception today. Over the weekend, I worked at a pretty big tournament in Northern Virginia. Probably against my better judgement, I signed up to work four consecutive U11 boys games. For this tournament, that meant 30-minute halves with just one referee. While keeping up with kids in 4th, 5th, and/or 6th grades isn't a problem for me, 4 hours of game time is a lot. And without assistant referees it’s impossible to tell if a player is offsides or if the ball goes completely out of play. Basically, if it’s close, we’re going to keep playing.

Before the first game, one coach approached me about a goal being set about 2 inches behind the goal line. The goal must have been anchored to the ground since it was impossible to move. I mean, Hulk or Thor could probably move it, but the coach and I could not. Naturally, about half-way through the first half, his team took a shot that hit the post, and he immediately started yelling that it should be a goal. Even with the goal set back, it's unlikely that the entire ball crossed the line before hitting the post. Technology used at the World Cup might be able to determine that the ball crossed the line, but they didn't quite have any video replay for this U11 match. Besides, going over the line and hitting the post didn't prove it was a goal. I could have simply called a goal kick for the ball being out of play. And with no assistant referee, I couldn't make this call from 20 yards away. I'm getting really into the weeds. Besides, I'm completely burying the lede here. This coach sounded exactly like Norm Macdonald except that he was not at all funny. 

He continued to complain throughout the game, and I eventually gave him a yellow card for dissent. This follows a trend I've seen throughout the season. So much complaining by coaches and players. Another player on this team got a yellow card for dissent (complaining about calls) too.

The second and third games were uneventful except that both my calves cramped at the same time during the third game. And right when I awarded a penalty kick. That had never happened to me in a game before, and it was quite painful. I limped around for the next few minutes before they finally felt better. After the game, one of the parents of a player in the game gave me some electrolyte powder that I mixed with my water. It was disgusting, and I'm not sure how much it helped.

Then, there was the fourth game. The first half was fine with nothing remarkable. I still couldn't run as fast as I wanted, but it was fine. Part-way through the second half, after a team scored a goal, I pointed to the center circle and started writing this in my book with my back towards the goal. I completely missed some trash-talking and pushing behind me. As soon as I heard the commotion, I ran over, but it was too late. One team claimed that the other started the ruckus, but without seeing it, I couldn't do anything. Yes, I should have waited to write down the goal, but this also wouldn't have been missed with two assistant referees. Over the next few minutes, there were more fouls and more talking and the team leading having their players stay on the ground longer than necessary. Finally, after one player kicked another, I blew a hard whistle and started to run over to issue a yellow card. Before I got there, one kid pushed the kid who did the kicking to the ground. Ugh. Red card. Things settled down for the last 6-7 minutes of the game, but one coach told his team not to shake hands after the game and the coaches weren't exactly going to get drinks together. 

(For the record, I did have a whistle unlike Ed O'Neill.) 

What's funny is that the tournament had a mentor at the field, and I talked with him both at halftime and after the game. Besides waiting to write down the goal and maybe issuing a card for time-wasting, he thought I made the right calls. He basically said that some things were beyond my control. It was reassuring. It also shows that you can still learn even when you've done something for a long time.

Oh, several days later, my right calf is still tender, and I limp around for a minute if I rest/sit for too long.