My Dad (1946-2020)

My dad passed away just over a week ago at the age of 74. I was fortunate to have been able to see him in Florida just before he died. I have no idea whether or not this is real, but my mom says that he waited to see me and my brother before passing away. It's a little comforting believing this to be true. 

I thought I would post what I shared at my dad's funeral. My brother helped with this. Please note that even though I feel like I've shared my brother's name on my blog before, I replaced his name with just "N" below. 


Most people think of my dad as being a nice guy and for his sense of humor. He was the master of the "give me five, on the side" game. He regularly shared stories and told them so convincingly only to be kidding the entire time. If you knew my dad, you got used to this and generally found them funny. If not, well, apologies to all of the restaurant wait staff over the years who were really confused as to whether or not he was serious about ordering a hot fudge sundae for dinner. 

Of course, his stores sometimes backfired. There were times when he was completely serious, but you thought he was kidding. The best example of this was on the day that N was born when he played tennis with a friend. My dad shared that my brother was born earlier that morning at home and the friend obviously didn't believe this since why would N be born at home and why would my dad still be playing tennis that day. The friend got home only for his wife to tell him the news of N's birth when he walked in the door. 

He also told us on April Fools Day that the Pirates traded Tony Pena, one of our favorite players. We obviously didn't believe him and it's not like we could check our phones to find out that it was really true. It turned out to be a pretty good trade for the Pirates.  

I'm not sure that N and I could have asked for a better father growing up. My mom has shared that he was eager to wake up in the middle of the night for feedings and to change diapers because he wanted to be involved in our lives immediately. 

When I was probably in first grade, my parents saw that there was a soccer league starting in our community and signed me up. Soccer in Pittsburgh in the early 1980s was not exactly widespread. Even though he knew practically nothing about soccer, he became a coach and continued coaching our soccer and baseball teams for years. 

My dad loved being a dad and spending time with us. There were countless times when he'd come home from work, and we would ask him to play with us. I'm sure that there were a lot of days when he was tired or maybe had a long day from walking around the Monroeville Mall, but he'd take us to the playground or the basketball and tennis courts. Even when I was in high school and college, he still regularly beat me at tennis even after he worked a full day.

We became big sports fans, and especially Pittsburgh sports fans, in large part because of my dad. He took us to Pirates games and the occasional Penguins and Steelers games since those tickets were a little harder to get. But he also took us to Pittsburgh Spirit soccer games, way too many baseball card shows, professional wrestling events at the Civic Arena and even Pittsburgh Bulls indoor lacrosse games. 

I model being a father after my dad. Even though they can frustrate me at times (which I'm sure I never did with my dad), I love being a father to three amazing boys and I know N does to his kids. I like taking them places and have inherited the role of being a coach to their teams. He was always there for us and involved in what we did. He truly was a caring and loving husband, brother, father, and grandfather and we'll miss him.


After I posted my dad's obituary on my personal Facebook page, I received scores of very kind comments. Thank you so much to everyone who offered your condolences. It really means a lot. I also thought I would share a few that really touched me.

* I am so sorry to hear of this. Your dad was a wonderful man. I have so many good memories of him. He was such a fixture in my young life. There is such a large group of us that were so lucky to know him and be coached by him.

* I am so shocked and saddened, Sean. Your parents were both always so wonderful and welcoming to me, and I can't imagine the heartbreak for you, N, your families, and your mom.

* I remember him driving me and [redacted] to the airport to welcome home the Penguins after they won their first Stanley Cup. I'll never forget how excited he was when we finally got into the building.

* I hope you, your mom, N and your family are comforted by all of your special memories with your dad. He was a wonderful man and I am so happy I got to know him when we were in college.

* [Redacted] wanted me to pass along his condolences to you. He said that your dad was a great soccer coach with a wonderful sense of humor.

* Oh, Sean, our hearts and thoughts are with you all. Your father was a second father to me.


Thanks again Dad for showing me how to be a great father and for always being there for me.