Friday, July 06, 2012

A Message To The Pittsburgh Pirates & Hal Sparks

Dear Pittsburgh Pirates – Call Hal Sparks, invite him to a game and have him address the crowd.

Dear Hal Sparks – Accept the invitation and become a Pittsburgh celebrity.

With a 2-0 victory over the Houston Astros last night, the Pittsburgh Pirates are 10 games over .500 for the first time since 1992. Now, just past the half-way point of the baseball season, the Pirates are in first place in the National League Central division and have the second best record in the National League. So what’s the secret of the Pirates success? The MVP performance of Andrew McCutchen? The outstanding performance of the pitching staff including All-Star Joel Hanrahan and should be All-Stars James McDonald and A.J. Burnett? The hot bat of Pedro Alvarez? The answer is Zoltan and the “Z” from the legendary, Oscar-Award winning 2000 movie Dude, Where’s My Car?

As the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette article (and video) explains,

"It all started in Atlanta when we were watching [television] in the clubhouse, and there was nothing we wanted to watch," said second baseman Neil Walker, recalling the last weekend in April. "We saw 'Dude, Where's My Car?' And guys were like 'Oh, we haven't seen this in a while.' So we watched it.

"It was just so terrible and stupid. We just pulled that from it. It's just kind of our team way of bonding, I guess."

As the Pirates have continued to win, Zoltan fever has continued to spread across Pittsburgh. Therefore, I recommend that the Pirates reach out to Hal Sparks, the actor who portrayed Zoltan, and ask him to give the Zoltan speech followed by a “Let’s Go Bucs” prior to an August or September home game. The crowd will go crazy! Don’t believe me? Several years ago, the Steelers started playing the song Renegade to pump up the crowd. Today, the city goes nuts whenever Styx comes to town to perform this song.

I bet you’re also wondering why such a big star like Hal Sparks would ever consider this opportunity. He’s probably extremely busy preparing for the next season of Disney’s TV show Lab Rats or the next VH1 I Love the 80s, 90s, 2000s, or 2010s show. However, this type of publicity is just the spark that Sparks needs to, um, spark his career!

Of course, Sparks is from Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky, so if he’s a Reds fan and doesn’t want to support the Pirates, I understand. Then again, being a celebrity is nice.

Let’s Go Bucs! Zoltan!

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