Witness

I’ve heard stories about this happening on the bus or Metro before, but I have never seen it in person…until yesterday. As I was sitting on the bus reading the fourth Harry Potter book, the woman next to me pulled out clippers and started cutting her finger nails. To make things worse, she left the cut nails on the floor of the bus. There are many problems with this entire scenario, but let’s just go with the most obvious. Who cuts their finger nails in a public place, especially on public transportation? This is something that needs to be done in private. While I admit to having poor grooming habits regarding my finger nails (that’s a nice way of saying that I bite my finger nails), at least I do this in private.

So now I need to figure out a nickname for the finger nail woman. I may have mentioned this before, but I sometimes entertain myself on my commute by coming up with nicknames for people who frequently ride the bus with me. This would include Sideburn Guy, Smoking Man, Crazy Lady Who Isn’t Crazy, The Woman Who Doesn’t Shut Up, Weasley (the guy has red hair and would fit in perfectly in the Weasley family from Harry Potter, except without that magic thing), and Disheveled Mike, who looks like a colleague of mine, except my colleague is always well-dressed and neat, and the guy on the bus is, well, not. Maybe I’ll just call her Rude Finger Nail Lady.

I never claimed to have original nicknames.