Name That Arena

With the Pittsburgh Penguins moving from Mellon Arena (it’s still the Civic Arena to me) in a few years, I wonder what corporation will pay for the naming rights of the new arena. Although Mellon may have the first opportunity to name the new arena, The Bank of New York Company, Inc. and Mellon Financial Corporation recently merged to become The Bank of New York Mellon Corporation. With the probable change of company management, who knows if they want the Mellon name on the arena. Plus, I can’t see a Pittsburgh arena with “New York” in the title. Since Heinz and PNC already have stadium sponsorships, what will be the name of the new arena? The following names are simply guesses:

• PPG Arena or UPMC Arena – Between either of these and PNC, Pittsburgh will quickly be known as the alphabet soup of stadiums.
• Bayer Arena – The slogan: The Penguins will give their opponents headaches. (I’ll be here all week.)
• 84 Lumber Arena – After reading about his birthday party and wedding, maybe Joe Hardy is like Richard Pryor in Brewster’s Millions and needs to spend all his money in a certain amount of time.

• WESCO International Arena – This is a Fortune 500/multinational electronics distribution and services company. I have nothing funny to write.

If I had to make a prediction, I’ll go with Dick’s Sporting Goods Arena. Fortunately or unfortunately, it will likely be dubbed “The Dick” rather quickly.