A Million Little Pieces

I am a terrific houseguest. I am nice, courteous and gracious. However, as a guest, I have also had a history of clogging toilets throughout the country. There have been several awkward moments over the years in which I had to ask the host for a plunger, including one such incident in which a New York City apartment manager needed to come to the rescue. I’m sure he really hated his job that day. I also think I treated my host to an expensive dinner that evening.

This past weekend may have taken the cake (who came up with this expression anyway). After entering and then exiting the restroom, I asked the hosts if they had a dust-buster. Fortunately, they did not act at all surprised by this request. Earlier in the day, we went to the beach and spent some time swimming in the ocean. Although I brushed the sand off of my bathing suit at the beach, hundreds of little seashells ended up in my pocket only to pour out when I was in the restroom. Even with the dust-buster and wet paper towels, I continued to find small shells throughout the weekend. Is this what "A Million Little Pieces" was about?



I hope that these stories don’t scare anyone from letting me stay with them in the future. I’ll be sure to bring flowers or buy dinner and drinks!