Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Alexander Ovechkin For President

Alexander Ovechkin is a very good hockey player. The 2004 #1 overall draft pick has over 500 goals and has led the league in goals scored the past 4 seasons. This season, Ovechkin's Washington Capitals had the league's best record and now lead the Philadelphia Flyers 3 games to 0 in the playoffs. Naturally, Ovechkin is popular in the DC area and really, really, really popular with this driver.

Please excuse the terrible picture. The license plate reads OV4PRZ with the Caps logo.

While the current slate of Presidential candidates may be underwhelming to many, I'm a little concerned about this driver supporting Ovechkin. First, Ovechkin was born on Sep 17, 1985 meaning that he's not 35 as required. In addition, Ovie was born in Moscow and is still a Russian citizen. While being born outside the US doesn't seem to be an issue for Ted Cruz, the fact that Ovie is not a US citizen may be problematic.

Despite these two minor Constitutional obstacles, I question Ovechkin's electability. Is his solution to improve the economy simply to buy lottery tickets? What kind of foreign policy experience does he have other than hanging out with Putin? (Actually, he has more international experience than many recent candidates. I recommend that he talks this up on the campaign trail.)

Assuming he runs as a Democrat, he will easily win the Washington DC vote. Even if he runs as a Republican, he could do the unthinkable and win DC. I think he'll also do well in Maryland and Virginia, but he faces major hurdles outside of the DC area. He's not going to do well in Pennsylvania though his candidacy could do something special. Ovie can bring Penguins and Flyers fans together in the common bond...of disliking him. Everyone together now!

After thinking about this even more, perhaps the driver isn't referring to Ovechkin moving into the White House. Maybe the driver really wanted Ovie and the Caps to win The Presidents' Trophy for the team with the most points during the NHL regular season. Mission accomplished!

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