Monday, June 29, 2015

Penguins Got Back (Pittsburgh Penguins Draft Recap)

It seems like less than three weeks ago when I did a recap of the Pittsburgh Pirates draft, but I'm back with thoughts about this weekend's Pittsburgh Penguins draft...inspired by Sir Mix-A-Lot's classic song, Baby Got Back. Enjoy!

Name: Daniel Sprong
Selection: 2nd round (46th overall)
Position: RW
Height: 6-0
Weight: 180
Amateur Team: Charlottetown (QMJHL)

The Penguins went right with the opening few lines with this selection:

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get "Sprong"

Name: Dominik Simon
Selection: 5th round (137th overall)
Position: C
Height: 5-11
Weight: 176
Amateur Team: Plzen (Czech Republic League)

Yes, you guessed it. Simon is white so...

Then turn around, stick it out
Even white boys got to shout

Name: Frederik Tiffels
Selection: 6th round (167th overall)
Position: LW
Height: 6-0
Weight: 192
Amateur Team: Western Michigan (NCHC)

Tiffels was born in Cologne, Germany. You know what else is German? Mercedes-Benz

Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you want to get in my Benz?

Name: Nikita Pavlychev
Selection: 7th round (197th overall)
Position: C
Height: 6-7
Weight: 200
Amateur Team: Des Moines (USHL)

From Yaroslavl, Russia, did you know that Nikita has a rigorous workout routine?

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda

Let's hope that these future Penguins players have hockey careers as successful as Baby Got Back!

This is either brilliant, or more likely, one of my worst blog posts.

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