Checkout Lanes Are Evil

Did you hear about the recent altercation that occurred outside of a Wichita Walmart?

Wichita police say a 36-year-old man became frustrated with the self checkout and began cussing at the machine.

It angered another man inside, and it turned into a verbal argument.

The fight spilled out into the parking lot where another man joined and some derogatory names were used.

“When they left the store, the upset individual struck the cussing individual in the face,” said Capt. Doug Nolte, Wichita Police Department.

The 36-year-old man suffered a broken tooth.

Police are still looking for the two suspects who left the scene.

You may find this outrageous, but there's something about checkout lines, particularly self checkouts, that stir people's emotions.

While I usually shop at Wegmans, I occasionally go to a grocery store that rhymes with Mafepay to pick up a few sale items. Despite going to this store on Friday evening or Saturday morning, times when there are plenty of customers, Safeway Mafepay usually only has two checkout lanes open. It seems that the store really wants people to use one of the 6 self checkout lanes. This is a problem. There always seems to be at least one broken scanner. Plus, there is rarely a consensus about whether there is one line for all self checkout lanes or three separate lines for the three separate rows. There's usually someone buying alcohol or medicine, so you have to wait for the one employee to check IDs.

Once you get to the register, an item won't always scan. You might stand there attempting to scan an item three or four times. Then, the machine wants you to place the item in the "baggage area." No, I don't want to put the 20-pound container of cat litter in the miniature baggage area.

Of course, the worst people in the world are those that have 15 items for the 7 items or less aisles. I don't think I've ever shared this story before, but on the night that I proposed, I went to Target to pick up a few items including votive candles. My plan was to light candles around the apartment and place rose petals on the floor. Maybe I was inspired by Coming To America.

Anyway, I was running later than I planned and found myself in what I thought was the express checkout lane. I quickly discovered that the people in front of me had significantly more items than 7 or less. I was livid. Fortunately, I didn't do anything, or you may have heard about an altercation that occurred at a Fairfax Target involving a single guy.