Showing posts with label Spam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spam. Show all posts

Friday, July 01, 2022

Enough Already

Over the last few months, I receive at least 1-2 comments every day on a post I wrote over 11 years ago. And it's not even a good post. For several years in the late 00s and early teens, Jim Shearer, the former MTV and VH1 VJ, created a series of videos called Yinz Luv Da Stillers and Yinz Luv Da Guins during the Pittsburgh Steelers and Penguins playoff runs. Most of these videos are now private, so my January 2011 post now simply shows an unavailable video. This still doesn't stop presumably bots from commenting on this "well written," "marvelous," "awesome," and "amazing" post daily. I mean, most of my posts have these attributes, but I delete many of the comments if they're in Russian and/or include links I'm scared to click or share. Some comments (that I translate) ask if I'm interested in knowing what a three-circuit steel door means or they are for a company offering comprehensive services for legal support in obtaining temporary registration in Moscow. I'm going to pass.


I really don't want to delete any of my old posts since there's a reason why I wrote them when I did. Still, it's getting annoying receiving constant comments that I just have to delete or ignore.

Monday, May 04, 2015

BadGirls

I received a message in my Spam folder recently from someone named BadGirl28. Yes, it really was a Spam folder. Anyway, I was curious about why BadGirl28 went by BadGirl28. My theory was that maybe she was a big fan of Marshall Faulk. If she's from Pittsburgh, maybe she loves Brandon Cumpton, Ian Cole and/or Cortez Allen. If she's in the DC area, perhaps she is a big fan of Jayson Werth (and she probably supports his abuse of mascots).

Unfortunately, her email doesn't give any information about her favorite player. Instead, all I got was this:

Name: Adriana
Age: 21
Eye Color: Light Blue / Brown
Height: 5"6
Hair Color: Blonde / Light Brown
Submissive: Yes
Sexual orientation: Bi-Sexual
Star sign: Sagittarius
About me: Into being tied up and used like the little slut i am :)

send me a quick text so i know youre real (with a number that I'm not sharing here)


I'm really curious about the eye color thing. Is one eye light blue and the other brown? Is she like Washington Nationals pitcher Max Scherzer?


I also got messages from BadGirl22 and BadGirl25 with the exact same message, so I'm thinking that maybe there is no significance to BadGirl's numbers. Wait, stop the presses!



Is this the same Adriana from a few years ago? If so, I'm happy that she's just giving basic information rather writing a long message. Based just on her last sentence, her grammar is still poor.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Sex Kitten

Like everyone else in the world, I receive Spam messages. While most of these messages find their way into the Spam folders, occasionally, some wind up in my Inbox like this recent message from someone called SexKitten.

Noticed your facebook profile and thought you were cute.
I would LOVE to chat with you on YAHOO messenger!
My screename there is swimmerchickyfy addme to chat i'm online now :)

xo


Here are my thoughts about this e-mail:

- Am I supposed to be attracted to or interested in someone with the name SexKitten? You could use cute, adorable, fun and numerous others adjectives to describe a kitten, but sex or sexy wouldn't be one of them. Now if this message was intended for Ziggy, I would understand (except for the fact that he was neutered years ago).


(Any excuse to share this picture of Ziggy as a kitten is welcome!)

- That's nice of you, um sexkitten, to notice my Facebook profile. Of course I look cute since I'm holding my son who was probably about 18 months in the picture. His cuteness clearly rubs off of me in the picture.

- Chat on Yahoo messenger? Does anyone actually use that?

- I'm confused. Is she swimmerchickyfy or sexkitten? From my experience, cats/kittens don't like water. Perhaps if they are trying to attack a swimming chick though they might get wet, but I don't see a connection here.

- xo? xo? How about jk or, well, or? Why not ox? Paul Bunyan likes oxen.

Clearly, swimmerchickyfy/sexkitten writes significantly less than my last admirer, Adriana.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Longest Spam Message Ever

I received an e-mail recently from someone named Adriana with the subject, "Hey." While most messages with this subject go straight to my Spam folder, this one managed to reach my inbox. Unlike most spam messages with a sentence or two followed by a link, this is a novel. I thought I would share such amazing prose and my thoughts. Please note that some of the text is PG-13.

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?

Sean's notes: Babe? Hopefully, that's for Babe Ruth rather than Babe the pig.

In case u dont know who this is its ME Adriana.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then I think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... I got 2 things to tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3 cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..

Right effing near me? Totally tubular dude! By the way, I think having three cousins, family, counts as people you know.

I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally can HAHA!

For the record, I've never said I "wanted to chill" with anyone.

im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even help me move my [stuff] in...are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was soo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and take me out so u better be around bebe...

The misspellings and poor grammar are really starting to bother me. Plus, is it that hard to capitalize I?

we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt tell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about me.. well im 23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel..

Hold the phone! You're moving right effing near me and I'm the only person you know (besides your family). Yet, you need to tell me your age, sign and what you like to do. Shouldn't I know this already?

i have a lil kitty named BOO and i luv her to death...

Owning a cat changes everything. I love my cat Ziggy too.

uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..

How can you be 23 and spell girl incorrectly? Shouldn't you know how to spell girl in first grade? Yes, that's what I'm focused on.

I really hope we get a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i get there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..

do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring?


Please send me your resume, cover letter, salary requirements and a writing sample. Actually, don't send the writing sample. That's not going to help.

id LOVE to work in a bar or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is fun and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i did? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat with people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)?

What's the proper response to bomb right?

I KNOW.. like i figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and [deleted since I try to maintain a PG-13 blog] heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need help once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like i said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..

ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives each of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like everyone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY USE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cud always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...

Why does your e-mail account not let you login? I'm not a computer person, but I tend to think that's a user error.

if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST U... im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move.. also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan :(

You better hope Congress works something out with the student loan interest rates. Actually, you should share the password with some of the Members of Congress. That could be a good way to earn money.

I really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now..

No, I'm not at all annoyed. Please continue.

im gonna go start work.. i really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my stress about the move... REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u in insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign to see u in my chat room..

While I may not be an internet expert, don't you need internet to access your chat room?

rmemeber its 100% free with this code im gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS INSTEAD OF [something else] WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im out for now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo Adriana

After all that, she never game me the password. Oh, there was a link included at the end of the message, but I'm worried it would take me 2-3 weeks to set up my internet if I click it.

Friday, July 11, 2008

The "Does Wegmans Rule" Experiment Results?

Now that the "Does Wegmans Rule" experiment is complete, we (lacochran & I) thought it would be nice to share the results. For those of you new to this challenge, we asked for volunteers (here and here) to take a checklist to their local grocery store and price the following items:

- 1 dozen large eggs
- 1/2 gallon Bryers vanilla
- 1 pound of bananas
- 1 head of romaine lettuce
- 1 box of San Georgio Spaghetti
- 1 1000 sheet roll of Scott toilet tissue
- 1 cup of Dannon Light ‘N Fit yogurt
- 1 12oz. can of Spam luncheon meat

We figured that this would give a wide variety of products that are commonly used. Well, except for Spam because Spam is funny and makes us think of Monty Python.


Our gracious volunteers visited these stores:

- Wegmans in Fairfax, VA
- Harris Teeter – Herndon, VA
- Shopper’s – Alexandria, VA
- Greenbelt Co-op – Greenbelt, MD
- Giant – Alexandria, VA
- Giant – Reston, VA
- Safeway – Fairfax, VA
- Kroger – Atlanta, GA
- Publix – Atlanta, GA

On to the results. We prepared an elaborate spreadsheet and a 20-page PowerPoint presentation to share, but we couldn’t quite figure out how to post it here. Maybe we’ll publish it as part of our dissertation: Sean Learns the Difference Between Iceberg and Romaine Lettuce. Back to the premise of our experiment, does Wegmans rule? The answer is yes. We took the total of the eight items at the DC area stores, and with a total of $12.93, Wegmans had the cheapest prices. Shopper’s finished in second at $13.25 and the Greenbelt Co-op earned the bronze with $13.34. Safeway was the most expensive at $18.09, although we think that the toilet paper priced was possibly a 4-pack and not an individual roll. (If one roll is really $3.35, we’re never going there again.) Even adjusting the price of toilet paper to $1, the total of $15.60 was about $1.35 more than the next most expensive store (Harris Teeter - $14.16, note: they did not sell individual rolls of Scott toilet tissue at Harris Teeter so we plugged in an assumption of $1 for comparison purposes).

What about Atlanta you ask? We say it is a city in Georgia . Oh, you’re wondering about the prices. Both Krogers and Publix do not carry 1000 sheet rolls of Scott toilet tissue or boxes of San Georgio spaghetti; however, if we add average price of each to the total, Kroger would actually be the cheapest at $12.29, largely due to Breyers ice cream being on sale (only $2.27). Kroger does have the most expensive eggs at $2.29 but Spam is apparently cheaper in the South ($2.29 – Kroger; $2.09 – Publix; between $2.49 [Wegmans] and $3.35 [Safeway] in the DC area).

In case you were wondering, the prices at Giant in Reston and Alexandria were exactly the same.

We were hoping people would document hilarious anecdotes about their secret shopper expeditions but by in large... not so much. Apparently, this is pretty serious stuff. So, we release you from your official obligations as secret shoppers and invite you to create a clean up on aisle 3 incident of your choosing.

So that’s about it. Thanks again to everyone who participated, to DC Blogs for linking to us and to Swapping Tales (aka The Abbot aka abbotofunreason) who created the incredibly cool badge.

A special thank you to lacochran for not laughing (at least that I know of) at the original idea of the "Does Wegmans Rule" Experiment and for truly organizing most of the challenge!