Sean Goes To The Doctor

I had my annual physical earlier this week. This seemed like a bigger deal this year because I'm now 40. I thought that a colonoscopy was in my near future, but it turns out that I don't need one of those until I'm 50. Woo Hoo! The physical turned out to be no different than any other one with one exception: an EKG. I've never had an EKG before, but it's really quite easy. You lie down on the table and the physician's assistant puts stickers all over your body like this.

The difficult part is removing the stickers one the EKG is over, particularly when the stickers are attached to your chest hair. Oh, I also found two stickers by my ankles when I went to sleep 15 hours after the appointment.

Anyway, the EKG results were good. My blood pressure and heart rate were also good. My weight was down slightly, and I'm right at where I want to be. Unfortunately, I'm still in the 5' 7" height range, so my growth spurt still hasn't happened yet. Maybe next year!

Now the big stuff. My cholesterol results:

Good again! My cholesterol was significantly higher about 10 years ago, but I've been fine lately. Basically, I'm healthy as a horse. Well, presumably, a healthy horse. You don't want your health to be compared to a sick horse.

Based on all of these results, I think I was robbed by People Magazine. Forget David Beckham. I should be People's Sexiest Man Alive! I guess Beckham just has a better publicist.

Very Quick Penguins-Flyers Highlights

Sure you can read all about game one of the Pittsburgh Penguins-Philadelphia Flyers series on countless websites or find highlights in numerous places. However, I’m happy to provide you with a short, short recap of the game.



Jeff Jimerson nailed the national anthem.

First Period

Sidney Crosby scores! 1-0 Pens

Tyler Kennedy scores! 2-0 Pens

Fleury stones Jagr.



Pascal Dupuis scores! 3-0 Pens

End of First Period

Mike Milbury doesn’t make any outlandish, offensive or inaccurate statements during intermission.

Second Period

Fleury makes an incredible save on Hartnell

Daniel Briere scores. Boo, especially since he was barely offsides. 3-1 Pens

Couple of unsuccessful power plays for the Penguins in there.

Craig Adams & Arron Asham on a 2-on-1. Probably the two forwards on the Pens you would least like to see on a 2-on-1.

End of second period

What are the chances David Beckham has visited a Burger King since this commercial? In the unlikely event that he eats at BK, there's no chance that he knows the restaurant manager's name, right? There's even less than a zero chance that Victoria Beckham eats or drinks at BK.



Third Period

Jagr interferes with Crosby. That’s not allowed.

Steve Sullivan has a point blank chance but Ilya Bryzgalov says no (or nyet).

Jordan Staal hits the crossbar.

Briere scores again. Boo. 3-2 Pens

Crap. Power play goal for Brayden Schenn on a nice pass from Scott Hartnell. Game tied 3-3.

End of third period.

Only five shots for the Pens in the entire 3rd period.

Overtime

Jakub Voracek scores. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Flyers win 4-3. Jakub spells his name wrong. If the Pens had to lose in overtime, I'm happy that it happened quickly. There's no way I could have stayed up late watching a 3 or 4-overtime game.

A few notes:

The Pens finished 0-for-3 on the power play while the Flyers went 1-for-1. Pens need to do better on special teams if they want to win the series.

The Malkin, Neal and Kunitz line combined for zero points.

Did Max Talbot play for the Flyers? I dont think I ever noticed him.

Game two on Friday.

2010 World Cup Preview

With the World Cup only days away, you can probably find a preview in every newspaper, magazine, television show and website around the world. In these previews, you will likely find analysis about who will win each group and specific information about Argentina's great Lionel Messi and the impact Didier Drogba's injury will have on the Ivory Coast's chances. Well, you're not going to find this information here. Instead, I'm proud to provide a World Cup preview about stuff you probably didn't think you wanted to know!

The tallest players in the World Cup are Serbia's Nikola Zigic at 6'8" and England's Peter Crouch at 6'7". Crouch is listed at 165 pounds, which couldn't be correct, right? Los Angeles Lakers' Ron Artest is 6'7" and 260 pounds!

The shortest players are Danilo Tucios & Walter Martinez of Honduras; Aaron Lenon of England; and Arthur Boka of the Ivory Coast at 5'5". I feel tall compared to these guys!

There are only 18 players at the World Cup weighing 200 pounds or more, yet 3 are Americans led by the heaviest player in South Africa goalie Marcus Hahnemann at 227 pounds. U-S-A! U-S-A! Of these 18 players, 10 are goalies

The lightest player in South Africa is France's Mathieu Valbuena at 128 pounds.

The oldest player is the Netherlands' Sander Boschker born on October 20, 1970.

The youngest World Cup participant is Denmark's Christian Eriksen born on February 14, 1992. You feel old, don't you?

The player with the longest name is Sokratis Papastrathopoulos. You'll be shocked to discover that he plays for Greece.

The player with the shortest name is former Pittsburgh Pirate, Ed Ott. Actually, for a two-name player (as opposed to players known by only one name like Portugal's Deco) Japan's Yuki Abe and North Korea's Ri Jun-Il share the honor.

Where's Waldo (Ponce)? He's a defender for Chile.



If you still have the humor of a 13 year-old, here is your World Cup all-name team:

Kim Dong-Jin - South Korea
Kaka - Brazil
Pepe - Portugal
Danny Shittu - Nigeria
Jorg Butt - Germany
Gaetan Bong - Cameroon
Herculez Gomez - United States I just feel like this is an awesome name!

I share a birthday with America's Oguchi Onyewu and the Ivory Coast's Yaya Toure.

Germany's Jermone Boateng has a brother, Kevin-Prince Boateng, that plays for Ghana. Apparently Kevin-Prince Boateng became frustrated in not getting called up by the German team and decided to represent the country of his father's birth. Naturally, they will face each other in Group D.

Italy has two players named Fabio (Fabio Cannavaro and Fabio Quagliarella).



Is there any chance that Australia's Scott Chipperfield is related to magician David Copperfield?

Cameroon's Geremi spoke in class today.

Oakland Raider great Tim Brown, now apparently plays as a midfielder for New Zealand.

While you won't see David Beckham playing in South Africa, you may see Denmark's Mikkel Beckmann.

North Korea doesn't believe the rules apply to them.

Finally, don't forget to sign up for my World Cup fantasy league. Just go to the Yahoo World Cup group page, click join an existing group, and enter the group ID# (19911) and password (troy43).

P.S. Much of this post is also available on BlogCritics, though I added a little extra here.

Neil

Like Madonna, Cher and Bono, he needs only one name and they’re coming to America today. Actually, he is Neil Diamond and his North American tour is coming to the Verizon Center in DC on Tuesday, August 5. While I wrote about wanting to see the Spice Girls several months ago, I was half-joking. If someone offered me free tickets to the Spice Girls, of course I would go; however, I was not willing to pay actual money to see them. I would pay to see Neil Diamond.

In fact the first concert I ever attended was Neil Diamond at the Civic Arena in Pittsburgh. It was probably 1981 or 1982, and I went with my parents and younger brother, who managed to sleep for nearly the entire show (I think he was only 3 or 4). If I remember correctly, he woke up to hear exactly one song, America, which was the show’s final song and featured a fluorescent American flag hanging above the stage.

Back to 2008, tickets for Neil’s DC show go on sale to the general public on Monday, April 28. But I am not the general public! Tickets go on sale for me (and everyone else with an American Express card) this Monday, April 21, at 10:00 AM Eastern time. According to the hated Ticketmaster website, tickets are $55-$120. As I mentioned in the Spice Girls post linked above, I’m sure that Ticketmaster charges will be another $25. While I really don’t want to pay that much for tickets, the cheapest seats for Neil Diamond are going to be almost $40 less than Spice Girls tickets. Neil has more hits and a much longer career than the Spice Girls can ever dream of having. Well, maybe not Posh Spice because she has David Beckham money. Regardless, in twenty years, do you think there will be a movie featuring a Spice Girls cover group like there was for Neil Diamond in the underrated Saving Silverman?

So the question now is if I got a Neil Diamond ticket, would anyone go with me?

Working for the Weekend

I just wanted to share a few thoughts and articles before the end of the week.

- I love VH1’s World Series of Pop Culture. I could watch this all day. JQ, if you’re reading this, did you enter this year and/or do you know of anyone in the event?

- I’m now half-way through re-reading Harry Potter 6. As soon as I finish, I’ll share my predictions for book seven (some serious, some not so much).

- The man responsible for bringing Harry Potter to America is featured in a Washington Post article, and then, participates in a Q&A. The Q&A is quite entertaining with many people asking about answers from the seventh book and wondering if an eighth book is in the future. Lots of smiley faces too, which seems odd for an editor/publisher.

- Psych on the USA Network is back for a second season starting tonight. I recommend watching it if for no other reason to see Charlie (Dule Hill) from The West Wing.

- I laugh every time I see Homer sing, “Spider-Pig, spider-Pig; does whatever a spider-pig does.”

- Did you hear that David Beckham is coming to America?

Why I Would Make a Poor Celebrity (or Secret Service Agent)

Well, there are thousands of reasons for both of these, so let’s make this reason number 172. One of the apparent requirements of being a celebrity is that you need to wear sunglasses in public places. The picture of Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham hidden by her child at David Beckham’s final Real Madrid match is an example of this. Sunglasses, often coupled with wearing a hat, helps disguise celebrities in public from the commoners. If you look closely at the picture, you will notice that no one else is wearing sunglasses, so it can't be too sunny.

On to the premise of this post. I cannot be a celebrity because I don’t wear sunglasses. I have had several pairs of sunglasses over the years and have managed to either lose or break all of them. Based on this track record, I have not had a pair of sunglasses in probably six years. Therefore, I have a bit of a dilemma. If I buy a cheap pair of sunglasses, I won’t really care about them and will probably lose of bend them. Conversely, why would I buy an expensive pair of sunglasses if I’ve been fine the last six years without them?

That's about it. I don't have anything else to write about this subject. In full disclosure, I just saw the Tom and Katie picture and thought they looked silly and robot-like with the sunglasses. Plus, this was another opportunity to write about a Spice Girl!

(The picture is courtesy of Deadspin).