Thursday, March 24, 2016

I Finally Saw Star Wars

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice opens on Friday and is expected to have a monster box office opening. Do you remember the last movie that was this highly publicized? That would be Star Wars: The Force Awakens that opened in December. Earlier this week, I became one of the last people in America to see the film. Here are some very random thoughts I have about the film. Please note that there are some spoilers here for the other 15 people that haven't seen movie yet.

- I think I deserve lots of credit for managing to avoid all spoilers. For example, I had no idea that Han Solo had a son. Or that the mother of his child was Princess Leia. Or that Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher look significantly older than they did in Return of the Jedi.

- I also managed to avoid any news that Miles from Lost and Parkman from Heroes were part of the rebellion. Seriously, why didn't anyone tell me they were in the movie? I was far too excited about these guys being in the film than I should have been.

- As I watched the end of the opening crawl, I desperately wanted the text to finish with "If you can read this, you don't need glasses."

- When Han Solo and Kylo Ren/Ben met, I fully expected Han to break the ice by complimenting his son on his hair. (By the way, shouldn't his name be Kylo Ben instead of Kylo Ren?) Of course, as soon as I saw that they were meeting on a bridge, I knew it wasn't going to end well for Han.

- Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones was supposed to be in this movie, but I didn't see her. Was she a stormtrooper?

- I was a little disappointed that Lando Calrissian didn't get a cameo. Billy Dee Williams appeared in a Modern Family episode a few years ago, so what's the deal J.J. Abrams? Yoda's spirit would have been nice to see too.

- Was BB-8 named after legendary blues singer and guitarist B.B. King or the slightly less legendary British boy band BBMak?

You know, I now want to hear the only BBMak song I know. Try to get this song out of your head today!

- There was another guy in the rebellion that looked a lot like Donald Sutherland, but I don't think he had any lines, so he couldn't have been Donald Sutherland. Donald Sutherland is no extra!

- So Supreme Leader Snoke. Is he a giant or was he just projected as one? Oh, Snood is significantly better than Snoke.

- So what does Luke Skywalker do with all his time on the island? Seriously, does he just hang out on the top of the mountain? Does he watch any news or have internet service? Seems like the food options are limited at best too.

I think this pretty much captures everything that happened. When does the next movie come out? I'm sure I'll see it 6 months after the release date!

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