Thursday, April 24, 2014

New Dad Take Two

You may have noticed that I haven't written much recently. I also haven't shaved in a week (or kept up with personal hygiene in general), slept as much as I would like (though I did manage to sleep through most of the first two Penguins playoff games) or have had much interaction with the outside world. I have a really good reason though. My second child arrived! Here are some observations about the experience. Enjoy!

- There is an added degree of difficulty when preparing to go to the hospital to give birth when you have a 3 year-old at home. We wanted to give our son a bath and put on his pajamas before we went to the hospital, but my son didn't feel the urgency of the situation. Sure, going potty hadn't been a priority for him, but yes, tell us that you want to use the toilet as my wife is having contractions. I gave him two minutes on the potty. When he didn't go in those two minutes, I immediately put him in the bathtub where he promptly urinated in the bathtub.

- Although I packed a bag for the hospital, I managed to forget several key items including deodorant. Conversely, the one item I managed to grab before we left was a bag of Rold Gold pretzels. Brilliant move as I had a rushed dinner and the hospital cafeteria was closed when I was hungry in the middle of the night. Therefore, I'd like to thank Rold Gold and propose a new slogan for their brand. "Rold Gold: The snack you want when you're waiting for your wife to give birth."

- 22 year-old me would have been excited by the amount of texts I received around 2:30 AM. Of course, 22 year-old me didn't have have a cell phone. (Plus, I'm not sure texting was even around back.)

- Nurses regularly asked the pain level on a scale between 0 to 10. One of the nurses explained that 10 would be like getting your arm cut off. Why use that as your pain threshold? How many people have had their arms cut off? Besides, it didn't seem that bad in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

- Although there was some initial concern about my son not crying much, he has certainly proved that he can scream extremely loudly. For example, I have no idea how my 3 year-old slept through my newborn's Exorcist-like screams the other night. Of course, the oldest son managed to wake up (and wake me up) at 4:30 even though it was quiet and everyone was asleep.

- I ended up wearing the exact same clothing including shoes from 7:00 AM Wednesday through 4:30 PM Thursday.

- While I'm not going to share my child's name here, I thought I would tell you his Hebrew name: Pedro Tulowitzki after two members of my rotisserie/fantasy baseball team. Those are both Old Testament names, right?

- Is there a doctor out there named Billy Rubin that specifically works with patients with jaundice? Seems like type-casting.

- The hospital encouraged us to watch a video where they prominently showed women's breasts. Encouraged us! I think this might be illegal in some states.

- When I watched Grey's Anatomy in the early years, it seemed like medical staff hooked up nearly everywhere in the hospital. However, I don't think there were any scenes of doctors, nurses or interns getting together on a sleeper chair.

- Yes, that's a nice way of writing that I hope that I never have to "sleep" on Hill-Rom sleeper chair again.

- The company that makes hospital receiving blankets must be super-rich. They have a monopoly on the market.

- Is there a class in medical or nursing school where you learn how to easily and properly swaddle infants? I feel like that's a requirement for graduation.

I'm sure that I'll share more stories soon about being a dad again, but first, I need some sleep.


Eric Freed said...

Congrats to you and your wife, Sean! Best wishes and blessings!

Sean said...

Thanks Eric!

lacochran's evil twin said...

Mazel tov!

Sean said...

Thanks LA!