Thursday, November 15, 2007

Worst Television Commercial Ever

In one of my first blog entries almost three years ago, I wrote about my dislike of the Dr. Scholl's “Are You Gellin?” commercials. The whole melon, zinfandellin, gellin’ thing really got on my nerves. Fortunately, I have not seen one of these commercials in many months.

Unfortunately, a new commercial has emerged to replace Dr. Scholl’s. That honor goes to Verizon Wireless for its commercial where a father goes around the house handing new phones to his wife and two kids while telling them each individually that they are his number one. He ends the commercial by pulling out a new phone and telling the Verizon / Can You Hear Me Now guy, “saving the best for numero uno.” What the hell is wrong with the dad? Why does he really need to tell everyone that they are his number one? He’s just a lying liar. And what kind of exercising is his wife doing? After an hour of her moving back and forth, she may burn a total of 10 calories. I’m also not a big fan of her fake laugh when the husband tells her that she is his number one. The wife really could the adult version of the robot girl on the syndicated 80s show “Small Wonder.”

Personally, I can’t wait for the sequel to this commercial where the father receives the first bill and flips out at his kids because they sent and received thousands of text messages. Then, maybe the tables will turn and the father will be exposed for the pompous, lying liar that he is.

So please join me in congratulating Verizon Wireless for having the worst commercial ever. This commercial, which seems to air all the time, is making me reconsider Verizon as my cell phone carrier.

21 comments:

jason said...

small wonder. wow, haven't thought that show ever.

off the topic. i changed my blog layout and i somehow lost the comments section. do you know how to fix el problemo?

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

I'm with you on this one. Hate that commercial. Frankly: the dad dude is just flat out creepy. CREEPY. Verizon should rethink that one and consign it to the Annals of Ick.

Messiah said...

Oh, I like the mom exercising. I think it's supposed to be campy. I think the worst commercial ever is that All-Bran one with the guy at the construction site where everything is pooping.

Marc said...

I am really not a fan of the Coors Light "Idiots interviewing Coaches" string of commercials. They bother me because they could be really funny but just aren't. That and I see about 30 of them with every Steeler game I watch.

Arjewtino said...

Actually, I love that commercial for the very reasons you hate it. It's absurd, stupid, and pointless. And I like to laugh AT it, not in front of it.

Sean said...

Sorry Messiah & Arjewtino, but I still hate the commercial. To Marc's point about the Coors commercials being on constantly during Steeler games, I find that the Verizon commercial is not only on during football games but also during primetime and even the morning news shows. I do admit that I like seeing Dennis Green yell, "We are who they thought they were." The bigfoot question is dumb.

Tewkesbury (any relation to the former pitcher?) - Thanks for the support!

Gobo said...

Meesiah, how can you hate the pooping commercial?!?!? It's the best commercial ever. Of course, this is from someone who believes that adding poop to any situation is always a net positive.

My least favorite commercial is Viva Viagra.

Messiah said...

I know I'm not the target demographic for All-Bran. I just find it nasty for them to try to sell me on the fact that when I eat it, it will come right out. I mean, Taco Bell, Starbucks, and Olestra don't really focus on this.

A recent one that I dislike is for some new minivan. The mom drives the new car home and tells her three kids and husband to get in for a ride. They all grudgingly leave their own personal spaces to have family time. In a car. The voiceover says "Bringing families together", and what are they doing? The girl in the back seat is playing a video game on one built-in TV, the two in the middle row are watching SpongeBob on a different built-in TV, and I believe the dad is masturbating to the GPS. The kids are all wearing earphones (and smiles!), and no one talks to one another. It's just a little sad that having two TV's and a GPS in close proximity with no one talking counts as family togetherness.

Christine said...

For me, any of the Burger King commericals that feature the creepy, big-headed, pimped out, looks-like-a-child-molester Burger King character are the worst commercials ever.

Nick said...

I REALLY despise that ad for Pepto Bismol with the jingle "Heartburn, nausea, indigestion, upset stomach DI-A-RRHEA!" I guess it's clever, but I feel physically ill every time I see it.

David said...

Anyone know who that actor is who plays the daughter in that commercial? She looks like Imogen Poots, the girl who was in 28 Weeks Later.

honeykbee said...

Totally agree. That dad is a lying sleezeball. And this depiction by Verizon is likely only the tip of the lying sleezeball iceberg. I bet he's got 3 other families, all claiming to be "his number one" *insert wink and finger gun here*. I hope they all sign up for Tiger Beat Texts at $3.99/sms. What a creep.

Elizabeth1533 said...

I think the Viagra and Cialis commercials are the worst. Nothing like watching football with my aging father and seeing the "if you have an erection lasting more than four hours see your doctor immediately"...Hey, target marketing I suppose...

G-dawg said...

The only thing I like about the commercial is the cute daughter.

I think the mom laughs because the dad brushes his hand across her ass.

It's definitely a stupid commercial, but then again, almost all commercials are stupid.

iYammyself said...

The second kid...I thought it was a daughter. I ended up at this discussion board because I'm trying to find out the name of the 2nd kid because a friend and I were wondering...(read: arguing) whether it's a boy or a girl...can someone tell me definitively? paulbbellamy@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

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John Stanley said...

Totally agree. An awful commercial featuring a totally sleazy husband. I laughed out loud about the wife doing that strange exercise.

Anonymous said...

ARRGGH American Express is running the WORST TV commercial in the last five years…it’s on bloomberg 50 times a day…it is SO overdone…so pretentious “I’m So sorry you’re over your limit”…it’s the actors - it’s the setup: “this one is so cool”. MAJORLY ANNOYING - by far the worst running on TV for some years. I can’t stand it…It makes me hate american express!!!!!

Anonymous said...

verizon makes the worst radio spots i've ever heard... they are CONSISTENTLY bad. i like to think i don't let a good ad sway my purchasing decisions, but if an ad is bad enough, it'll keep me from buying.

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Anonymous said...

That stupid stack of dollar bills with the set of eyes on top claiming "That's the money you could be saving with Geico" One of THE worst ever. Also, as Christine cited, that creepy Burger King thing with the big head looking in people's windows. Makes you wanna call the cops rather than get something to eat.