Muppet Night Football

Last night's Monday Night Football game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Cincinnati Bengals was branded as "Muppet Night Football" with pre-game appearances by Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear and others. Unfortunately, except for showing Animal playing drums a few times going into commercial breaks and a quick bit with Statler and Waldorf during halftime and another after the game, ESPN didn't utilize the Muppets nearly enough.

Here are just a few ways that ESPN and the NFL could have incorporated members of the Muppets into the game:

* A halftime performance by Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem.

* Sideline interviews by Gonzo.

* Walter could have played QB for the Steelers in the first half. Ben Roethlisberger was 7 for 16 for 19 yards with an interception and a fumble lost. Walter couldn't have been much worse!

* A cooking segment with The Swedish Chef and "Big Snack" Casey Hampton.

* Sam the Eagle being a part of the national anthem.

* Multiple shots of Scooter in the control room yelling at Steve Levy.  

* The Steelers using Bobo the Bear as a fullback on every short yardage situation.

* Statler and Waldorf skewering the current state of the Steelers.

Manic Sunday

As I'm typing this on Sunday evening, the Federal Government and every school in the DC area announced that they are closed on Monday even though it is calm outside right now. With the pending ice and snowstorm, Sunday was its usual pre-panic day around here. Although we were already stocked up toilet paper, milk and BBQ Fritos, I decided that I needed to run a few errands. Therefore, I took my son for a trip around Northern Virginia.

Stop 1: My office. Figuring that the office would be closed Monday, I needed to pick up some work to do from home. A successful trip except that right as I was leaving, I thought that maybe I should check on my son's diaper before we went back into the car.

Me: Do you have a poop?

Him: Yes

The answer to this question is generally no even when he has a dirty diaper. Sure enough, I needed to change the diaper, and of course, there are no changing tables in the building's restrooms. Not a big deal, but I hope that someone empties the trash in the men's restroom before Tuesday morning.

Stop 2: The bank. Sure, the bank is closed on Sundays, but the ATM was open. I needed to deposit some checks and wanted to make sure that the checks cleared ASAP. Naturally, the ATM rejected one of the checks twice before it finally worked.

Stop 3: The gas station. Disaster. I've seen news footage of gas shortages from the late 1970s. I waited in a line for way too long only to get to a pump that moved slower than Casey Hampton in a 5K race.



Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for everyone else, it was just my pump (Station? Bay? I don't know the proper term for this) that moved slowly. Three cars filled up and left before I finally gave up after reaching 9 gallons.

So now, I'll wait for the snow and get ready to start shoveling.

Penguins-Hurricanes Storylines

Now that the Pittsburgh Penguins defeated the Washington Capitals, we can all focus on the Eastern conference final between the Pens and the Carolina Hurricanes, who defeated the Boston Bruins in a tremendous game seven Thursday night. For those of you seeking storylines for the series, let me be of assistance of what you may (or may not) hear from sportscasters and writers over the next week.

- Eric Staal and Jordan Staal are brothers. I feel like you should hear this from me since the announcers will fail to mention this.

- Although Tuomo Ruutu is the brother of former Penguin Jarkko Ruutu, Pirate great Turner Ward is not related to Carolina's goalie Cam Ward.



- Scott Walker, who scored the series winning goal against Boston, is not a Texas Ranger even though he may think he is after punching out the Bruins’ Aaron Ward.

- Sergei Samsonov and Simeon Varlamov are not the same person.

- It's time for Bill Cowher to decide whether he supports the Penguins or the Canes.



- Cam Ward and Ryan Bayda are both from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. OK, no one outside of Saskatoon will mention this, but I still think Saskatoon is one of the greatest city names ever.

- After watching hundreds of "The Portal at NHL.com" commercials, you will snap and want to "Scott Walker" guy who randomly (and unconvincingly) appears to be in the stands and locker room. Conversely, you realize that the FreeCreditReport.com commercials aren’t as bad as you originally thought.

- The Penguins will get all of the calls since the NHL wants Sidney Crosby in the finals. Oh sorry about that. I channeled my co-worker who is a Washington Capitals fan momentarily.

- Craig Adams is on a one-game goal-scoring streak! (Or the Penguins are undefeated in game sevens when Craig Adams scores a goal.)

- Ron Francis, Carolina’s associate head coach, won two Stanley Cups with the Penguins. Even if Francis decides to "Scott Walker" the cotton candy guy, which would completely out of character for this three time Lady Byng recipient, he will still be loved in Pittsburgh. (h/t Empty Netters for this video)



- Will the Pens see the return of Casey Hampton at its home games? Since Ric Flair is a huge Canes fan, who would win in a steel-cage match between these two?



Let's just hope Casey Hampton keeps his shirt on this time unlike during the Super Bowl parade.

TMI Thursday: A Cigar Story

Let me preface this by writing that this is not a Monica Lewinsky type story, so get your mind out of the gutter, people. Here’s my big reveal: I have never smoked a cigarette in my life. Here’s my second reveal: I have smoked a cigar on several occasions. This sounds like an after-school special version of TMI Thursday, but bear with me.

I have started thinking about some big picture things in my life. We are looking into moving. This involves not only searching for a new place but also selling our condo. The entire process really, really scares me even though we haven’t even started. In addition, at the behest and occasional prompting (sometimes bordering on nagging) of my parents, I recently bought life insurance in addition to what my company provides. I’m not planning on dying or anything, but I guess if something happens to me, it’s nice to know that my wife and kitten will be OK. This is way too deep considering I have written almost exclusively about the Steelers over the past few weeks.

Anyway, as part of the life insurance interview, the agent asked dozens of questions about my medical history, lifestyle, etc. One of the questions was whether or not I smoke. Innocently enough, I mentioned that I’ve had several celebratory cigars over the past few years. I’ve probably had three cigars over the past five years. The agent didn't think it is a big deal, because it wasn’t, and we proceeded to the next question. You can see where this is heading, but before that, here are some pictures of Pittsburgh Steelers* having celebratory cigars after winning the Super Bowl:




A few days later, I learned from my agent that I did not qualify for the best rate because of my smoking. So apparently, it is worse for me to have less than one cigar a year than to regularly go to a Virginia bar (smoking is still alive and well in Virginia bars) and inhale as much second-hand smoke as possible. What a joke!

The TMI portion of TMI Thursday: Either I’m an idiot for mentioning the cigar thing in the first place or Western Reserve Life Assurance Co of OH, otherwise known as Western Reserve Life, is a terrible and out-of-touch company.

Thanks for reading my rant. You’ll be happy to know that my new life insurance is not through Western Reserve Life. In addition, I’ll try to have a better TMI Thursday soon.

Please be sure to check out much more interesting TMI Thursdays through Live It, Love It.

* How cool are the Steelers' Super Bowl bathrobes? Where can I buy one?

Photos by Drew Hallowell/Getty Images for the NFL (via Charlotte Observer)

Post-Super Bowl Thoughts (and a Hair Story)

I may have received the quickest haircut in history Tuesday evening. I asked for a trim and the woman basically shaved the back of my neck and shortened my sideburns. She barely touched the rest of my hair. (Naturally, since it is Hair Cuttery, she did have enough time to try and sell me Nioxin, a thickening shampoo.) I’m not sure if I’ve reached the point where I have so little hair that all of my haircuts will only last 4 minutes or if the hairdresser was just lazy. Could I have lost that much hair since my last haircut? If so, the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl may have contributed to hair loss.

Here’s a fun hypothetical question: Let’s say that instead of the final Roethlisberger-to-Holmes touchdown, Mewelde Moore had a touchdown run for the winning score. In that case, who would have been the Super Bowl MVP? If your answer is either Ben or Holmes, has there ever been a case where the offensive player won the MVP without scoring a touchdown?

Inspired by my interview of him, Brian St. Pierre provided one last blog post about his Super Bowl experience. (Congrats to St. Pierre on the upcoming birth of his first child.)

Ziggy had no interest in watching the kitty halftime portion of the Puppy Bowl.

Steelers Today has a video of Ben’s appearance on Monday's David Letterman.

Yahoo presented a terrific photo gallery of the Steelers Super Bowl parade and celebration. Why is Casey Hampton sans shirt?



Yes, I realize that I’m now going to get Google searches for Casey Hampton shirtless in addition to the people already searching for Richard Ruccolo shirtless and Antonio Holmes shirtless (or worse).

Some joke of a newspaper called the Phoenix New Times paid someone to write and actually published a hateful article about Pittsburgh and the Steelers (the negative stuff starts on page three). There are some ugly R-rated language in the comments but most of the comments are thoughful and represent Pittsburgh well.

Finally, I apologize for not updating everyone on the Rock of Love 3 fantasy league. laclips of This is Getting Old is currently in the lead. By the way, it’s not too late to join.

What Are You Wearing for the Super Bowl (and Predictions)

I contacted some of my favorite Pittsburgh Steelers bloggers* and asked them what they are wearing for the Super Bowl. Then I realized that the question sounded a little inappropriate at best and creepy at worst, so I rephrased the question to this: Is there something that you will wear or have near you, not including a Terrible Towel which is a given, on Sunday? This question was especially geared for the superstitious folks out there like me. There was also an option to submit predictions about the game and a final score.

Tecmo of PSAMP:

I'm gross. I have three pairs of Steelers socks. I wore a pair for the San Diego game, then took 'em off right after we were done, knowing I'd need 'em, unwashed, again. I wore the same pair for the Baltimore game, and immediately took them off once we won. They're still not washed, but I've only worn them during game-time, and I'll do the same Sunday.

This is in addition to my Hines Ward jersey and two Bettis Foundation wristbands. And my Terrible Towel that helped Doug Brien miss those FGs into the closed end of the stadium.

17-14 Steelers. We're trained to win games like that. They're not.

Judge Rufus Peckham of Carbolic Smoke Ball:

I will drape around my shoulders one of the original Terrible Towels that I have worn for every post-season game since 1975. I am assured that the smallpox that somehow had infested the cloth last season was driven off at precisely the time that President Obama took the presidential oath (the second time -- the first time didn't take).

Gobo of White Nerdy Wonks:

I’ll be wearing a Max Starks game-worn thong that I purchased on eBay, and nothing else.

As for predictions, I’m too superstitious to actually predict the final score, but I will predict that Roethlisberger will have a better QB rating than he did in Superbowl XL. I realize I’m setting the bar pretty low here. I’ll also predict that Lawrence Timmons will have at least one sack or near-sack. I think LeBeau will use Timmons instead of Foote more often than usual, to give the Steelers more pass-rushing options up the middle, so Warner won’t be able to know where the rush is coming from.



Cotter of One For The Other Thumb:

Depends who’s asking there, big guy? No, seriously though. I shall be donning my usual pair of jeans, same black studded "look at how punk rock I am" belt, the same Myron Cope Yoi (double Yoi on back) t-shirt (hmmmmhahh!), the same long sleeved black t-shirt with "Steelers" looking all mean across the front, the same Casey Hampton jersey that’s about three sizes too large, the same old raggedy ass hat from like 1985, the same fleece polo for before the game starts, and the same towel I brought to the Burgh for Super Bowl XL! Oh, and my Steelers socks and Nikes with black and gold trim. I haven’t been able to find contacts that have the Steelers logo in them, but I’m searching Google hard.

Prediction? There will be a game. Two teams will play. One from Pittsburgh, calling themselves the Steelers. The other from Glendale, calling themselves the Cardinals. The game will last for 60 minutes. (Sean's note: Apparently, Cotter does note see this game going into overtime.) Both teams will score points. One team will score more points. That team will win. Hopefully it will be the Steelers. Seriously, do it, Tomlin. Get ‘em in line!

Matt of Steelers Gab:

I'll be at the game covering, so question one probably won't apply since I'll have to dress professional.

As far as predictions, here's a couple to chew on:

Steelers will have 4 sacks of Kurt Warner. Lamarr Woodley will have two, and James Harrison one. Brett Keisel will also have one.

Willie Parker will score on a two-yard run, Santonio Holmes will have a 15-yard TD catch, and Heath Miller will pull in a 6-yard TD. Ben Roethlisberger will throw 19-for-27 for 289 yards with two TD's and no picks. He will be sacked twice.

The Steelers will lead 17-7 at the half, then the Cards will make it 17-14, but Roethlisberger's TD pass to Miller with 12 min left will make it 24-14, and a field goal from Jeff Reed will make it 27-14 with 6 min left. Arizona will get a TD with 3:35 left, but the Steelers will have enough to run out the clock and win 27-21.

(Sean's note: I wish Matt was more specific with his predictions!)

Jason of Jason Christ Superstar:

I'll be wearing my Tomlin "Yes We Can" T-shirt underneath my Miller (Heath not Jeff) Jersey. As for a score: Steelers 24 - Cards 17. Parker will have 67 yds no TDs, Moore, 75 total yds, Russell 14 yds 1 TD. Ben will throw for 230 yds, 1 TD, roughly 23-31. The D will have one TD. Warner will throw for 175 2 TDs, 3 INTs.

Mike of Steelahs.com

Attached is a photo of what I'll be wearing when I watch the Super Bowl. (Sean's note: The picture is below.) Plain old Steelers T-shirt on the left. Reebok Steelers hoodie on the right. Steelers cap on top of T-shirt.

It's important to not wear anything indicating past Steelers championships. Bad luck. The only thing in the photo I won't be wearing is the cap on the right. I had been wearing it for a few years and retired it after the Steelers won Super Bowl XL. It was the official good-luck cap of 2005. The cap on the left would earn the same status if the Steelers win Sunday.

Not pictured is the Rolling Rock I will drink. I'll be enjoying the taste of Old Latrobe in New York or Massachusetts. Not sure yet where I'll be watching the game.

Prediction: Steelers 33, Cardinals 31
MVP: Santonio Holmes
Other stuff that will happen: Troy Polamalu will get an interception. Limas Sweed will make a key third-down catch.



The Starter Wife of Black and Gold Tchotchkes:

Not sure what I am wearing, but I might just have a diaper on underneath it, just in case things go great... or poorly.

Ryan of Three River Sports

-Like you I'm also very superstitious. I'll be wearing my autographed, very well-worn Hines Ward jersey that has been around since about 2001, but now sees action only for very important games, like playoff games. In addition I'll be bringing along my Troy Polamalu bobblehead to a Super Bowl party of at least 20+ people and insisting that each and every one of them give him a bobble before game time.

A Serious Prediction: Santonio Holmes goes over 100 yards receiving for the Steelers and scores a TD on a deep ball.

A Not So Serious Prediction: The Refs actually call a penalty on one of the Arizona linemen for holding James Harrison. This is obviously a joke prediction though, because judging by the past several Steeler games, the NFL's holding rules only apply to offensive linemen if you aren't matched up against Harrison.

To wrap things up: HERE WE GO STEELERS!

Brenton from I Bleed Black 'n Gold:

I will have my usual Sunday debate: Ward or Roethlisberger jersey. Then consume frothy beverages from the Steelers mug I got from CVS in Wexford. It came with a crappy shirt in it, but I drink out of it every game.

Final Score: Pittsburgh:31 Arizona:24
Gameday Prediction: Lamar Woodley will kill two Cardinals, on accident.

(Sean's note: I think two dead Cardinals would taint and overshadow a Steelers win.)

Messiah of White Nerdy Wonks:

I'll be wearing a Troy jersey, but nothing all that superstitious. [My wife] has a Ben jersey, [child #1] has a Hines jersey, and one lucky triplet gets [child #1's] old Hines jersey. The other triplets will probably be in black onesies. I've ordered a dozen smiley cookies and we're ordering pizza from a place that's run by former Mineo's employees and supposedly uses the same recipe.

I predict Warner to have 175 yards passing in the first half, and Willie to have 53 yards in the first half. Then the second half will be brutal (D will be king on both sides), with the Steelers ekeing out a 7-point victory.

Mike of Have a Good Sandwich:

I'll be wearing a Hines Ward Super Bowl XL jersey to the Super Bowl. I'll also have a Terrible Towel in my possession.

I'd say that Ike Taylor will drop precisely one potential interception.

I won't make a prediction because I won't jinx the team.

Donald of Steelers Today:

I will be watching the game naked. The nice people here at the institution don't allow me to have any sharp objects in my room. And during Steelers games, they remove anything that I could use to hang myself should the Steelers lose. Thus, no clothes allowed during Steelers games. The latest medications that they've put me on seem to be working well. The doctors say that if I continue to take my meds, I MIGHT be allowed to wear clothes while I watch Steelers games next season. As far as predictions, the Steelers are going to win. The voices in my head told me so.

Sean of Sean's Ramblings (no link necessary since you're already here!):

I will wear my Louis Lipps jersey which has been much more successful than the Kendrell Bell and Kordell Stewart jerseys. I also have my Heinz pickle watch.

My prediction: Limas Sweed will do something good. Even if Sweed does nothing, by his standards, I count that as good.

Steelers 27 - Cardinals - 17


Thanks to all of my guests for participating! If you made it this far, thanks to you for reading. Feel free to share your own answers in the comments below.


Programming note: There will be multiple posts over the weekend including an exclusive interview that I may not be able to write up today. I'm sure that I'll mention the Puppy Bowl at some point too!


* Since this is Super Bowl week, anyone who is from Pittsburgh or writes any type of blog that mention the team is a Steelers blogger.