Sean's US-Portugal Recap

While it is likely that you already read detailed analysis about Sunday's US-Portugal game and the scenarios for the US to advance to the knockout round, you haven't read my thoughts about the game and World Cup (unless you're reading this multiple times). Like my recaps of Steelers games, and, well, just about everything else on Sean's Ramblings, enjoy items and thoughts that you won't see anywhere but here.

- Like every other World Cup match, the festivities began with the starting players entering the field holding hands with Brazilian children. While this is probably a huge honor for the kids who can tell their children that they were on the field during the 2014 World Cup, I wonder if all the kids are truly happy. For example, if you learned that you were going to go on the field for the Brazil-Cameroon game only to discover that you're walking out with a Cameroon player rather than Neymar or another Brazilian player, you might not be that excited.

- I didn't realize that Cristiano Ronaldo and Tim Howard were roommates when they played together for Manchester United. Now that is a reality show I would have watched. Did they have a Felix-Oscar relationship? Did they argue about leaving dirty dishes in the sink? Did they split the bills evenly? I need to know more about this!

- Now that there has been a water break in a World Cup match, I can't wait to use this as a ref as an example when Under-14 coaches complain about having one.

- It was nice of Wonder Woman, Superman & Batman to attend the World Cup match. However, while Wonder Woman and Superman dressed for the hot, humid climate, Batman must have been really uncomfortable.

- There were several times in the match where the announcers stated that, essentially, Ronaldo doesn't play defense. He's basically Alex Ovechkin except that he has won titles. Of course, it helps when you have teammates like Wayne Rooney, Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scoles. Edwin van der Sar, Ryan Giggs, Kaka, Mesut Ozil, & Iker Casillas rather than Martin Erat, Jeff Schultz and Jay Beagle.

- Yes, another Ronaldo thought. Announcer Ian Darke mentioned that Ronaldo was greeted at the hotel by a topless model, a guy in a Donald Duck costume and hundreds of other spectators. Why isn't ABC/ESPN showing this?

- Like Troy Polamalu's hair or Brett Keisel's beard, Portugal's Raul Meireles looked to get major attention due to his beard, mohawk and tattoos. He could easily be a bad guy on Sons of Anarchy. Unfortunately, it doesn't help your reputation as a scary, tough guy when you lay on the ground for approximately 15 minutes after Kyle Beckerman slide tackle. (It really wasn't that bad but some people disagree.)

- Meanwhile Clint Dempsey gets beat up nearly every match and always gets up. He is basically Chumbawamba without the whiskey drink, vodka drink, lager drink and cider drink. Oh, Dempsey also scored a goal off his tummy.

- West Virginia University's Geoff Cameron had a terrible clearance that led directly to Portugal's first goal. Kevin Pittsnogle or Amos Zereoue could have a better job on that ball. (I miss making Kevin Pittsnogle references.)

- Does will.i.am get mad at Portugal's William because of his name?

- Chris Wondolowski is half Native American. Based on all the discussion here in DC last week, I'm surprised no one asked for Wondo's thoughts on the Washington football team name after the game.

- Finally, while the Ronaldo to Varelo goal was impressive (though disheartening), these are the best goals from this weekend.

Randomness

- A friend wrote on Facebook that celebrity passings normally don't get to him, but Tony Gwynn's did. I completely agree with him. I wrote a post about Tony Gwynn seven years ago (this blog is way too old) and wanted to share it again today. I had the privilege of seeing Gwynn play probably two dozen times when I lived in San Diego. What's funny is that there's not a specific game or moment that I remember of him and that sort of matches his career. He just consistently got hits. Off the field, he was loved in San Diego and did so much in the community and at San Diego State. He passed away way too soon.

This is Keith Olbermann on Gwynn:



- Here's something I never thought I would say: Dude, you are dominating that prune juice.

- Dejan Kovacevic has an awesome piece about the late Steelers head coach, Chuck Noll.

- There is a sign on 95 North just south of Baltimore that indicates that 695 West is in 1.5 miles. It is wrong and always bothers me. The exit is about 1.25 miles from that sign and nearly .75 miles after the 2 miles sign.

- I'm not sure if anyone tracks this, but I'm convinced there are more tattoos among World Cup players this year than in any other year. Italy is my unofficial top seed for the team with the most players with tattoos. Greece ranks fairly high too.

- Adenoids would be cooler if they were called asteroids. Seriously, wouldn't it be more fun to tell people that you had your asteroids taken out?

- Finally, go to Puck Daddy to see a video of Vin Scully with the Stanley Cup.

The Greatest 2014 World Cup Preview

Since U.S. Coach Jurgen Klinsmann said that the Americans can't win this World Cup, welcome to the greatest 2014 World Cup preview you will read that has zero analysis of any games or teams. I've included random facts and interesting tidbits about players, and stay tuned for a never-before-seen picture of the best soccer team to ever play and me!

- The youngest player at the World Cup is Fabrice Olinga of Cameroon born on May 12, 1996. (Thanks to Grantland for this nugget.)

- The oldest player at the World Cup is Pele born on October 23, 1940. He might not actually play for Brazil during the World Cup, but I guarantee that you'll see him everywhere.

- Landon Donovan will not be on the US team. Instead, you might see him at a local bar near you assuming that you live in Los Angeles. Personally, I'd love to see him serve as a studio analyst for ABC/ESPN. What amazing awkwardness there would be after the US loses a game ("Well, Alexi, if I was playing...") or wins a game ("I'm happy for all of my teammates though the coach is a dick."). UPDATE: ESPN listened to me.

- Jose Cholevas of Greece is the only member of the team with a first name that doesn't end with a s.

- Meanwhile, Gabriel Paletta is the only member of the Italian team with a first name that doesn't end with a vowel.

We interrupt this preview for a picture of Ziggy with a soccer ball.

- I hope that Eden Hazard, midfielder for Belgium and Chelsea, becomes a duke.

- Korea has five players named Kim, four players named Lee and three players named Park. Does that make it easier or harder for the announcers?

- While Fosters is Australian for beer, Ben Foster is English for back-up goalie.

- I challenge you to accurately pronounce the name of Switzerland midfielder Granit Xhaka.

- The Washington Post created an article of the 10 most-eye catching wives and girlfriends at Brazil's World Cup. This makes me proud to be a Sunday-subscriber. What a list!

- Congrats to Italy's Mario Balotelli on his engagement! Just to show you how strong the Washington Post list is, Fanny Neguesha didn't make it. There may need to be a recount.

Mario Balotelli has struck first in Brazil, popping the question to girlfriend Fanny Neguesha and getting engaged! pic.twitter.com/VJz8lWyDZx

— Nikolas Postinger (@nikpostinger) June 10, 2014

- Shakira is #1 on the Post's list and she and her husband, Gerard Pique, recently visited the National Zoo here in DC. [DC Sports Bog]

- Koke is a midfielder for Spain. K is for Koke, that's good enough for me.

- Sammir and Eduardo don't sound like traditional Croatian names.

- Although Memphis Depay is a forward for the Netherlands, this could be the name of a blues artist or BBQ restaurant.

Time for this incredible video by John Oliver about FIFA's corruption. There's a few bad words here, so it could be NSFW.



- It's nice to see that Dante has a new hobby being a defender for Brazil after writing his Inferno.

- Australian midfielder Tommy Oar is such a big fan of the group O.A.R. that he changed his last name. Of course, his previous last name was Minogue.

- I'd like to congratulate defender Francisco Rodriguez and midfielder Carlos Pena for making the Mexican team. They also both have had successful baseball careers.

- Shlomo Cohen barely missed making the Iranian World Cup team.

- Landry Nguemo & Edgar Salli are both midfielders for Cameroon. I cannot confirm or deny that they are named for Pittsburgh Steelers QB Landry Jones or Pittsburgh Attorney Edgar Snyder.

- Gotoku Sakai made Japan's 23-man roster. I'm trying to put this delicately, but Sakai doesn't quite look Japanese. He looks more American which makes some sense since he was born in New York. I need to learn more about his journey.

- I saw Honduras midfielder Andy Najar play on DC United. Um, that's all I've got.

Time for another picture of Ziggy with a soccer ball!

- Fresh off his 9th French Open title, Rafa is playing forward for Portugal. I can't see Spain being okay with this.

- Former University of Pittsburgh basketball player and current member of the Oklahoma City Thunder Steven Adams plays goalie for Ghana. To make everyone believe that he is not playing soccer during the basketball off-season, he changed the spelling of his name for soccer to Stephen.

- I hope every American player and fan constantly says "Good night, John Boye" to Ghana's defender before and during the game. I think John Boye would be really confused.

Finally, thank you very much for making it this far. As a reward, here is a picture of me with the Pittsburgh Spirit. I can't identify the players but I really hope that Paul Child and Stan Terlecki are in here.