Thursday, August 15, 2019

Bears Vs. Raccoons

I love my community message board. While most posts simply ask for advice on contractors or contain neighborhood news, you get posts like this:

On July 31 at 5AM, a resident of the [neighborhood] observed three medium size bears crossing the street between [street A] and [street B]. Just wanted to get the word out so everyone is aware. Thank you.

This is some pretty significant news. Of course, it didn't have nearly the impact it could have since there were no pictures included. Now the fun part...the comments!

Woo, so we are having a Zoo around [here] Dear’s Foxes, now Bears

We have lots of Dear's around the neighborhood like "Dear Abby," "Dear John" (the TV show starring Judd Hirsch, not the movie with Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried) and "Dear Evan Hansen."

Was it reported so it would be publicized in the mainstream media?

Wait, this community message board is not mainstream media? Is this FAKE NEWS?

And my favorite:

Are we sure it wasn't racoons? I know they aren't the same size but it's 5 am in the morning and we've had a lot of racoons lately due to people not properly disposing of trash.

I think you would notice the different between three bears and three raccoons.

It really was a missed opportunity that no one commented that the bears were simply walking in the woods while their porridge cooled. Meanwhile some little girl was about to sit on their chairs, try their porridge, and sleep in their beds.

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