Ziggy & The Vets*

When I called to schedule a vet appointment for Ziggy last month, the office explained its new wellness program. This is the Active Adult Package:

• Unlimited exams all year
• All core vaccinations recommended/offered by DAH
• 1 fecal test a year
• 4 toe nail trims a year
• 1 ear cytology a year
• 2 laser therapy sessions a year
• 1 Chemistry 10/CBC blood screening a year
• 1 set of 2 view radiographs a year
• 50% off 1 routine spay or neuter a year
• 20% off 1 dental cleaning a year
• Additional 10% off the entire invoice at every visit

Although the plan is a bit pricey (a one-time $70 registration fee then $35 per month), going to the vet just once a year can be expensive. While this sounded nice, I explained that Ziggy hated going to the vet, so taking him more than absolutely necessary was not good for his wellness.

Fast-forward to the morning of his appointment. Forget Zumba or Jazzercise. if you want a really good workout, try getting a cat into a carrier. You get cardio by chasing the cat up and down stairs and you can really stretch by reaching under the bed to try to flush the cat out. This year, I discovered a new way to successfully get Ziggy into his carrier. I picked him up and carried him to the car. Once on the car seat, he quickly walked directly into the carrier.

Although he cried during most of the car ride, Ziggy seemed no worse than previous trips. We probably waited in the waiting room longer than normal, but I didn't notice Ziggy shaking like he has done in the past with big dogs in the waiting area.

Finally, we were called back and the vet tech took Ziggy out of his carrier. Shortly after the examination began, Ziggy started to growl. This continued after the first of three shots and turned into hissing rather quickly. After the second shot, Ziggy decided he was done. His eyes got huge, and he was ready to fight.

No one was going to touch him as he continued to hiss and put up his claws. He fell off of the table to the floor where he ran into the corner behind a small refrigerator. The vet tech brought out the oversize oven mitts to try to pick up Ziggy, but Ziggy wasn't having it. He urinated and defecated on the floor and himself and let out some piercing screams. Basically, he freaked out...again.

After a few minutes, the vet tech with two vets watching successfully got him back on the table. Ziggy was given a third shot and put back into the carrier. Exam over! As I paid at the front desk on the way out, no one mentioned the wellness plan.

In case you were wondering, Ziggy was fine when we got home and even during the car ride. He wasn't thrilled about me trying to clean him, so that had to be done in several stages throughout the day. He seems just as loving as ever since the appointment and is still great with the kids. It's funny that every night when I read with my three year-old before bed, Ziggy joins us and rubs his head against us and the book. He's really a great cat; except at the vet's office.

* This was the original title of the Elton John hit.