Random Quotes

- Although we've already discussed Selena Gomez singing about Mr. T in her song Slow Down, there's another line that I wanted to bring to your attention.

You know I'm good with mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Does that mean that Selena Gomez has her CPR license? Has she actually saved someone from drowning in her previous job as a lifeguard? Is there a rating system of mouth to mouth resuscitation and how do we know that Selena is on the good side?

- I recently completed Billy Crystal's book Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys? I found the book entertaining and found many of his stories, including any interaction with Muhammad Ali, fascinating. Of course, I needed to share his experience playing in a Spring Training game as a member of the New York Yankees against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

"The Pirates pitcher was Paul Maholm: six foot two, 220 pounds, from Mississippi. Never been to a Seder."

"The windup, the pitch. It's a cutter. The nastiest cutter I've seen since my bris."

Ha!

- A few weeks ago, Bob Smizik of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette wrote a blog post about how aggressive the St. Louis Cardinals had been in upgrading their roster. Commentor Bill Maloni wrote my favorite reply.

Um, because he's a prospect for the Pirates?

They don't have the money to sign Byrd; they don't have the money to sign Peralta; they bailed at giving AJ an offer sheet; and they missed out on Jack Johnson.

How could the Pirates miss out on Jack Johnson? Clearly, the team needed to get the laid-back, Hawaiian musician on their roster!

- Unlike Lady Gaga in her new song with R Kelly, I have never told anyone that they can do what they want with my body. Have you?