Who Are the People In Your Neighborhood?

I’m on a neighborhood message board which is often useful but can sometimes be a little ridiculous. Take a look at the messages from last week with some of my commentary. Enjoy!

Friday, 11:38 AM
Subject: Police activity today around 11:15am

Anyone know what was going on this morning? Police scanner announced that they apprehended a person near Elm Street. (Sean’s note: Not the real street name.)

Helicopter, police cars, ambulance...

Any news?

1:18 PM
Omg body found in pond by golfer

Holy crap!

1:25 PM
A golfer found a body while attempting to retrieve a ball in the pond behind [Elm Street]. Apparently, a contractor was picking up day laborers and killing them when the job was done so he wouldn't have to pay them. He used that pond as the dumping ground.

The poster included the quoted text from a separate message board. All of a sudden, my neighborhood turned into an episode of Dexter, CSI and Law & Order!

1:28 PM
[Other website] is full of garbage hoax posts. This is not credible in the least.

1:29 PM
I didn't say it was 100% credible. I was just posting it and I referred to the link.

Let’s play the feud!

1:45 PM
what is the explanation for all the police n helicopter activity?

1:49 PM
Helicopters are for searching for someone on the run or for medical transport. It doesn't take a helicopter to find a dead body. Unless it's a zombie.

So my neighborhood might have a murder and/or a zombie. That’s going to make it tough to sell my home in the future.

2:03 PM
The dead body thing came from [other website], which is 100% non credible. Go to that site and look at any post in the forum. It's filled with dummies who spit vile and racist posts for any and everything. It's the equivalent of a truck stop bathroom wall.

It is possible there was a body, however re-read the post. It's racist and the people there always complain about anyone non white.

2:52 PM
If you're concerned, why not stop wasting everyone's time and simply call the police department?

A rational post? Maybe if there wasn't a zombie on the loose.

3:10 PM

I did n they are not discussing

This is the second time this person used "n" for and. This is almost as upsetting as the possible murder.

3:15 PM
I was not provided with any info either.

Now there could be a police conspiracy.

3:56 PM
I called the Police non-emergency number and the dispatcher advised that the activity was related to a shoplifter who had ran into the area.

All of this for a shoplifter? Did they at least find the person/people that stole my tire?


Trivia Tuesday will return next week.