Monday, December 02, 2019

How I Injured Myself At Frozen 2

Before I begin this post, I want to share some alternate titles. I Barely Survived Frozen 2. Or How Seeing Frozen 2 Almost Ended My Life. (Thanks to Chris for this one.) On to the post.

Thanksgiving. A time to come together with family and/or friends and eat lots and lots and lots of wonderful food. The day after Thanksgiving: well, the leftovers are good. Otherwise, um, I guess it's a positive that I didn't see any videos this year of people fighting or rioting at Walmart! Let's start with how my Black Friday began. The Moose and my niece (both 8) woke up sometime very early. They say that it was at 4:00, but it might have been 5:00 or 6:00. Regardless of the time, it was still dark outside, and they thought it would be a brilliant idea to wake up Pedro Tulo and my nephew (both 5). Hilarity ensued! Except that it didn’t. Naturally, all of the screaming woke up everyone including two-year old Luigi. So at just around 6:00, all five kids were awake. Fantastic way start to the day.

Oh, but there’s more. Luigi had too much milk too fast and proceeded to throw up all over me. This is still before 6:30. While Luigi was fine and the kids all settled down with some television and donuts, we decided to take a trip to the movies. I mean, what’s a better way to spend Black Friday than with five kids (along with a theater full of other kids) at Frozen 2?

We arrived at the theater 20-30 minutes before the scheduled start time to get seats. There were no movie star scrambles for celebrities like Otm Shank.

Instead, the kids devoured the popcorn before the previews began, and maybe 2 minutes into the film, Luigi got restless. And by restless, I mean that he started to cry. I quickly took him out of the theater, and after he calmed down a few minutes later, went back inside. While walking up the stairs to our seats, I tripped while holding him. He was a little shaken up but fine. Meanwhile, I banged my left knee into the floor or stairs. Apparently, I shouldn’t carry my kids up or down stairs. It wasn’t too bad at the time, probably because I was too embarrassed about tripping in public.

I limped around a little for a few hours, and then drove home. My knee must have tightened up during the drive, so throughout Friday and much of Saturday, going up and down stairs hurt. I couldn't seem to put much weight on my left leg when alternating stairs. It was okay if I put one foot on one step and the other foot on the same step. Alternating steps (like how a normal person goes up or down steps) hurt.

I’m blaming Josh Gad. No not Josh Gad being the voice of Olaf, Josh Gad himself.

A few quick spoilers from Frozen 2. How does Elsa just let Anna become ruler of Arendelle? Is there no democracy there? So much nepotism.

Elsa is a bad influence for kids. I’m not talking about her strength and independence or about how she tries to help others (in this movie, not the first Frozen where she runs away and abandons everyone, but it’s okay since she “let it go”). No, Elsa travels to really cold places but apparently doesn’t feel the need to wear a coat, gloves, or hat despite exposing her shoulders. I’m sure that there are countless parents battling their kids about wearing a coat in cold temperatures. The kids are probably refusing to wear coats, citing Elsa for not wearing one in the Frozen movies, and then replying, “the cold never bothered me anyway.”

Hot take. The songs in Moana are so much better than the songs in Frozen. And I’ve already forgotten the songs in Frozen 2.

Back to me, my left knee felt better on Sunday, but my right foot has bothered me on and off for the last week or so. I'm a mess!

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