Man Arrested For Assault With A Sandwich

This story just in from ABC 7 News WJLA:

A man was arrested for assault after throwing a sandwich at another man Sunday night, police said.

According to the Fairfax City Police Department, 32-year-old Jonathan M. Magnes was transported to an Adult Detention Center and charged with assault and battery, driving under the influence of alcohol, and refusal of a blood and breath test.

Magnes threw a sandwich at a 50-year-old man at Firenza Pizza on 10160 Fairfax Boulevard in Fairfax, Virginia. Magnes left the area after the incident and was followed by the man, police said.

Police said Magnes was later released and the victim was not injured.

Several items here. First, what a waste of a perfectly good sandwich! If you're going to go out to buy a sandwich, why throw it at someone?

Next, I like that ABC-7 titles the picture "Police lights with handcuffs (ABC7 file photo)" on its website. Why not just show a picture of a sandwich?

Finally, I'm not sure that I can take Firenza Pizza seriously. I believe that the first car I ever drove was my parents' Oldsmobile Firenza. Near the end of its life, the car really struggled to make it up hills. This was a problem in Pittsburgh where hills are unavoidable. I regularly drove on the Parkway East from the Edgewood Swissvale exit toward Monroeville. Despite putting the pedal all the way on the floor, the car struggled to get over 35 miles per hour. The other drivers did not appreciate this. Maybe Magnes also had bad experiences with a Firenza, and this explains why he threw his sandwich at someone!

Fairfax Patch also has information about this story.