Academy of Country Music Awards Notes

Yes you are reading that title correctly. Since I refuse to watch American Idol, there is NOTHING on TV tonight. Mostly by accident, I found the Academy of Country Music Awards on CBS. So I am creating notes like I did for the Grammys and Oscars. Here we go:

8:00pm - The show starts with Gretchen Wilson performing. Who knew she had a song other than "Redneck Woman?"

8:04 - In the front row of the audience is the very country, um, Blue Man Group. I saw their show and don't remember any country music.

8:05 - Big question of the night: is Renee Zellweger going to be at the ceremony with Kenny Chesney? Is there a person who got more fame as quick as Kenny Chesney? Actually, yes. Mr. Britney Spears.

8:10 - Keith Urban is performing in London to show that country music is international. Just wondering, is their a performer named Keith Rural or Keith Suburban?

8:13ish - (I stopped keeping track of time) - The first commercial of the night is for Dr. Pepper. The commercial features the music of the famous country singer, um, Meatloaf.

Montgomery Gentry is now performing. Apparently, that is the name of the two guys. One of them (Montgomery?) is wearing a cowboy hat (he's obviously bald/balding) while the other guy (Gentry?) is not wearing a hat since he has hair. The cowboy hat-wearing guy seems to be wearing carpet. How do they decide on their wardrobe? I wonder if Montgomery Ward has the same problem.

Great awards show. There are no awards, just performances.

I just realized that the awards show is being held in the home of country music, um, Las Vegas. I guess that explains why the Blue Man Group is there. Renee Zellweger is not there.

Next performance is by Big & Rich. The one guy (Big?) looks a lot like Tom Petty with the long blond hair and the mad hatter hat.

8:32 - My wife is tired of watching this and changes the channel. I don't object.