TMI Thursday: Dance Dance

It was a sad day for many people when the Concordia Club was recently sold to the University of Pittsburgh. The Post-Gazette called it "the end of an era." For me, I write good riddance. When I was 12, my grandmother and great aunt thought that I needed a little refinement, perhaps some better manners and experience socializing with the other gender. The solution was for me to attend a dance class at, you guessed it, Concordia.

I realize that this probably doesn’t sound too bad, especially if the dances were any of those performed on Dancing With The Stars. However, this class was designed to prepare 12 year-olds how to dance and behave at Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. Apparently, the dances we needed to learn were the Box Step and the Bunny Hop. To make matters worse, almost the entire class consisted of private school kids that I had never met. Dancing with girls in junior high was awkward enough, but dancing with junior high girls that didn’t know you and didn’t want to dance with you was awful.

If I remember correctly, the class met once every three weeks for what seemed like two years. While I don’t believe that a tie was required, we definitely had to dress up. That alone was torture for a 12 year-old. I’ve tried to block out as much of this class as possible, so I don’t have any specific stories to share. I just remember that it was a terrible. To this day, I believe that my brother still owes me. Due to my miserable experience, he didn’t have to take this class three years later!

In case you’re wondering, I never danced the box step or bunny hop at a Bar Mitzvah or anywhere else publicly.

I also displayed the good manners I learned in this class by getting into a fight at a Bat Mitzvah, probably the only actual fight of my life that occurred off the soccer field. I may have to share that story another time. Actually, it's not that interesting so I probably won't.

Finally, Concordia made a brief cameo in my life approximately 15 years after the class. When trying to decide where my wife and I would get married, Concordia was suggested as an option. Let's just say that we didn't get married there.


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