Sad News

I did not sleep well last night and it had nothing to do with worrying about my fantasy football team. Yesterday, I learned the tragic news that a former co-worker had committed suicide. I worked side-by-side with this person for several months and my colleague was always available to answer any of my many questions. More importantly, this person was instrumental in my training and truly helped me become a better professional. When this individual left the company, I was devastated because of how closely we worked together, and I was not sure I could handle the additional responsibilities. I found an e-mail I sent about a week after this person started the new job wishing this person luck, thanking this person for all of their help and letting this person know that the new company was lucky to have this person. I received a quick reply that said that my company was fortunate to have me as well, that this person was not surprised to hear that things were going well and to let this person know if any assistance could be provided. That e-mail meant a lot as I felt like I got the reassurance that I could do my job well.

I think like most people I am wondering why. It just doesn’t make sense. It feels like there must have been some kind of reason, but even then, something was so bad that suicide was the only option? I am still stunned and shaken up although you probably wouldn’t know it if you saw me. I don’t want to turn the focus of this post to me, but I rarely show my feelings (with the exception of sporting events) and can appear to be stoic or even cold. You may even be thinking this since I have been referring to my former colleague as this person or this individual as opposed to he or she. I’m trying to create some type of anonymity if at all possible. This blog has been therapeutic for me and a great release to get things off of my mind. I already feel like this is helping, although I’m sure that I will continue to think about what happened and what if for the days and weeks and even months ahead.