Since the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences denied my request for media credentials for this year's Oscars, I considered boycotting the festivities. Instead, I'm using this for motivation so that the Academy will not only accept my application in the future, but actually invite me to be at the ceremony. Despite only seeing a couple of movies in the theater last year, here are the correct picks for who will win on Sunday night.
Best Picture: La La Land
A movie celebrating Hollywood? Of course this will win.
Actor in a Leading Role: Denzel Washington, Fences
Casey Affleck was the early favorite, but there are allegations of sexual assault against him. The Academy doesn't want to celebrate him, so they'll give the award to Denzel.
By the way, if Affleck does win, does Minnie Driver (who is terrific in the TV show Speechless) trash her home or hotel room since she will be the only major character of Good Will Hunting without an Oscar?
Actress in a Leading Role: Emma Stone, La La Land
Everyone loves Emma Stone. She dances, she's funny, and she previously received a nomination for Birdman, meaning that the Academy feels that she "paid her dues."
Actor in a Supporting Role: Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
When LL Cool J remakes Mama Said Knock You Out, he's going to change the line to:
Just like Mahershala Ali
They called him Cassius
Actress in a Supporting Role: Viola Davis, Fences
She's really good.
Animated Feature Film: Zootopia
This was one of the biggest grossing films of 2016 and was really good.
Directing: Damien Chazelle, La La Land
I saw Whiplash last year, so give him Chazelle the award for that.
Documentary (Feature): O.J.: Made in America
I wrote about this already. Even though this really is a TV show rather than a movie, this was amazing.
Foreign Language Film: The Salesman (Iran)
As soon as Trump instituted the travel ban that would prevent anyone from Iran, including the director of this film, from flying to the US, you knew he would win.
Music (Original Song): How Far I'll Go from Moana
The two songs from La La Land will cancel each other out, and the Academy will help Lin-Manuel Miranda get closer to his EGOT.
Writing (Adapted Screenplay): Moonlight
Everything I hear is that this film should win the Oscar for best picture. This is the consolation prize.
Writing (Original Screenplay): La La Land
This is La La Land's night.
Essentially, I told you win so you don't have to watch now. (Well, unless you want to see the speeches.) Of course, don't tell the Academy this or they may rescind my invitation!