Monday, June 27, 2016

Pittsburgh Penguins Draft Recap: Kasper Bjorkvist

Although I've written Pittsburgh Pirates and Steelers draft recaps in the past, last June was the first time I wrote about the Penguins draft. Nearly a year later, the team won the Stanley Cup. Coincidence? I'll let you be the judge.

While this isn't a true recap of the Penguins draft, I want to focus on the team's second selection: Kasper Bjorkvist. Here's his basic information:

Born: July 10, 1997
Selection: 2nd round (61st overall)
Position: RW
Height: 6-1
Weight: 198
Amateur Team: Blues Jr. (Finland Jr.) -- He plays for the awesomely named Espoo Blues!

So what do we really know about Kasper? Well, he's obviously friendly. I mean, I don't know him personally, but Kasper has to be a friendly teenager.

More importantly, you may be amazed to know that his Finnish Wikipedia page does not identify Bjorkvist's parents. There's a good reason for this. Bjorkvist and his family do not want his true identity revealed. Well, I'm here to provide some mind-blowing news. Kasper Bjorkvist's biological parents are none other than music superstar Bjork and a member of the Penguins Stanley Cup Championship team, right winger Patric Hornqvist. I know what you're thinking. Bjork is from Iceland and Hornqvist is from Sweden while Bjorkist is from Finland. That's just to get you off the scent. It's sort of like the story of Moses except Bjork and Hornqvist didn't put Kasper in a basket in the Kemi River. (Yes, I looked up the name of longest river in Finland.) Or maybe a better comparison is Superman's parents sending him to Earth.

You're probably also questioning how Hornqvist could be the father considering he was born in 1987. Have you seen Hornqvist or Bjorkvist's birth certificates? Exactly. We don't truly know their exact ages.

Still not convinced? Let's take a look at some pictures. Here is Hornqvist.


Here is Bjork in arguably her two biggest songs/videos.





Now, here is Bjorkvist.


See the resemblance? In case there is still a bit of uncertainty, let's take a look at Bjorkvist's scouting report as published on Hockey Prospects.

He plays with a 110% attitude all the time and can provide everything a team needs from solid PK to offensive contributions.

110% attitude! Who does that sound like? Patric Hornqvist always plays hard by blocking shots and going right to the net. He's fearless and passionate. Meanwhile, you don't go from Iceland to become a worldwide superstar without attitude. Besides, you need to have 110% attitude to wear this dress.


To Bjork, Hornqvist, and Bjorkvist, I apologize for breaking this family news. Kasper may not even know that Bjork and Patric Hornqvist are his real parents. (If that's the case, I'm sorry that you had to learn this way.) You knew it would happen one day and what better way for this to occur than to have Hornqvist and Bjorkvist playing for the same organization. Continued success to all of you!

No comments: