Let me preface this blog post by writing that the content is PG-13. It may even be PG. Sorry if this disappoints you.
Earlier this week, I received a flyer on my car to become a sperm donor. Let's look at the qualifications required to help others "to build happy healthy families."
1. Are healthy.
Check. I still work as a soccer referee, ran a 5K in under 30 minutes earlier this year without training and walk up the Metro escalator daily.
2. Have earned or are pursing a college degree.
Masters degree here, bitches. (Yes, using bitches might move this to a PG-13 post.)
3. Want infectious and genetic disease screening and physicals at no cost.
I think I'm good here but okay.
4. Want to be compensated up o $4,000 in six months.
Extra money is always good.
5. Want to help people by donating once a week, for less than 1 hour.
Wait, what? This isn't a one-time deal. By the way, they are asking me to donate my time or money once a week, right? RIGHT?
6. Age 18-39.
Even though I'm 40 (I'm a man, I'm 40!), apparently, I'm too old to be a donor. Oh well. The dream is over.
If you want to see some old-fashioned TMI Thursdays, feel free to click here.